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Unrelated, on a bluesky thread we discovered that there are many philosophers whose names rhyme with Bagel, but other Jewish breads are not so favored.

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No, it doesn't belong in the bodily needs section. If anything, it's in opposition to bodily needs.

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For body soap, especially private areas, you want a gentle, moisturizing Antichrist.

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The weird part is I'll get complaint emails about the 2037 Olympics not being possible, and not, like, the rest of this idea.

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How come nobody has made this? Or did they all go mad after making it, so we haven't heard?

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The other thing is the robots are stingy with the porn and drugs.

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The real punchline comes later when he marries a person who loves him, has a good boss, is respected by his children, works at a rewarding job for 40 years, travels the world for 25 years, and dies in painless repose, surrounded by loved ones.

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Technically, this is literary humor.

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Do they still do this? When I was a kid, villains were constantly dangling from buildings and being saved.

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Based almost entirely on something Tomer Ullman told me, and I hereby nominate him as First Dean of Shenanigans.

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All I'm saying is this would be the ultimate proof that God has a dirty mind.

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I read in an econ book that panel four is a thing that actually happens, and I've been terrified ever since.

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Triple the median would of course be 50% more inner peace.

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The best part is that it's included in a book titled Mortal Questions. Also that the original paper came out in 1969.

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Later he's upset that nobody's upset.

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The worst part is the robot makes him use reddit 7 hours a day, because that's what past employees were doing in its training data.

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Ten bucks to any president who does the thing in the second-to-last panel.

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A book 12 years in the making...

Hey geeks!. 

We’re back, with a new book and a new Kickstarter! 

We have so far ruined Science, Religion, and Love. Today, we ruin children.

The comics for the Parenting - An SMBC Collection book have been carefully selected by Zach and Kelly from the entire run of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal and polished up for print! 

Many of the older strips are re-lettered and re-paneled to look their best. 

Alongside the new collection, backers can also pick up our new illustrated middle grade novel starring a ferociously inactive kid who is dragged against his will into mystery and adventure - Sawyer Lee and the Quest to Just Stay Home. Officially this book is for ages 8-12, but we think it'll be funny for all readers.

Please check out our new Kickstarter here! 

Thanks for all of your support over the years.

Zach

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This joke is more for my future audience of robots, but humans are welcome.

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Why start with a confusing idea like zero, when you can refer to the notion of a something with nothing in it?