SMBC Comics Forum

Below, you can find an example of the messages a common '<<Spam-Bot>>' would leave before they were first weaponised by Edminster. While it is unknown exactly what the various items actually were, records of the era lead to the conclusion that they were items not particularly in demand, hence the aggressive advertisemnt method. This Author has decided to title the Article in the same manner as the original 'spam-bots', but would like to note that the 'hyperlinks' have long since decayed into nothing.
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Sapm-Bot #4379-NJ-4327 wrote:Catch good discounted Software right now.
OEMS ARE AVAILABLE ON ANY EUROPEAN LANGUAGES - English, French, Italian, Spanish, German

Sensation! ADOBE CS4 ALREADY AVALIBLE
PLEASE CHECK PRICES AT OUR STORE!
-
Windows Vista Ultimate - $79.95
Windows XP Pro With SP2 - $59.95
Office Enterprise 2007 - $79.95
Adobe Creative Suite 3 Master Collection - $299.95
Adobe Acrobat Pro 8 - $79.95
Adobe Photoshop CS3 Extended - $99.95
AutoCAD 2008 - $149.95



Also we have so much soft for All Macs:

Microsoft Office for Apple Mac - $79.96
Adobe Acrobat 7 Professional for Apple Macintosh - $79.96
Adobe Creative Suite 2 Premium for MacOS X - $199.96
Macromedia Dreamweaver 8 for MACINTOSH - $79.96
Adobe Photoshop CS2 for MAC - $79.96



To get full list of the offers, follow: {Link for Inter-Net long since deactivated}

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adobe 5.0

[url]photoshop cs system requirements
purchase adobe acrobat pro
students adobe
buy microsoft office for students
dreamweaver book
buy adobe cs2
sell photoshop
discount adobe illustrator

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Author's Comments:
While it is unknown who first unleashed the Spam-bot menace upon the Inter-Net, it is highly likely that he did not imagine they would ever be shaped to the extent shown in the Blogosphere Offensive. It is also worth noting that after the events of the offensive, possession of a spam-bot was grounds for anything from immediate incarceration (at the time, this consisted of destroying all Inter-Net connection for the accused) to summary execution. While many today believe that this punishment is cruel and unusual, the laws are still enforced to prevent anyone from perfecting the flawed methods put to use by <<Zach the Magnificent.>>

I can see how this menace terrorized the early Forum inhabitants.

This displays the Spam-bots' lack of full understanding of the intricacies of the English Language and all its nuances, and also demonstrates a distinct lack of respect for grammar and proper sentence structure.

As for the product-selling technique, it is clearly showing that Spam-bots could not compete with up-to-the-minute sales techniques employed by purveyors of Inter-Net-based wares.

Amazing also was the desperation employed by companies nearing the brink of bankruptcy, as highlighted by this example. This Spam-bot was trying to continue the sales of an obsolete system of desktop-pc-based programs owned by the former heavyweight Adobe, shortly before the final fall of this and many other companies still clinging to individual-sale and multi-user programs.

What little is known about the fall of Adobe and other desktop-pc program vendors points towards their inability to accept the fact that Inter-Net and the world of complete interconnectedness that the world was moving towards was a definite future, not a possibility.

Thankfully also this is an example of the non-self-aware Spam-bots that existed prior to the Blogosphere Offensive and the establishment of more advanced Inter-Net communities and technologies.

Laneth wrote:Thankfully also this is an example of the non-self-aware Spam-bots that existed prior to the Blogosphere Offensive and the establishment of more advanced Inter-Net communities and technologies.

Indeed! I cannot fathom the terror caused by a self-aware Spam-Bot that wanted nothing more than your complete destruction. It makes me glad that such things are the center of incredibly draconian punishments, and incredibly glad that I can wash these images out of my head with the Kegger of Kiddeliana that I shall be attending tonight. Will either of you gentlemen be attending?

This is a fine example of the more obvious spambots, but I would like to see further entries about the more subversive techniques of the spambots, such as those that hid links in the punctuation.

Lethal Interjection wrote:This is a fine example of the more obvious spambots, but I would like to see further entries about the more subversive techniques of the spambots, such as those that hid links in the punctuation.

I shall elucidate on this phenomenon when I complete the entry on Spam-Bots. Unless anybody has any objections, that is. After all, I have spent a large portion of my life dedicated to studying these magnificently subversive and dangerous things.