I've never posted in here.

[Lethal Interjection]

I have stand-up pieces, I just don't remember them. I remember going on a huge tangent that had our bus cracking up in 8th grade, actually. Something about kids shows. If I could remember it now, I'd be happy. Alas, I'm quite removed from them at this point.
Really, what I need to do is start a podcast with my last roomate. If only I had the technology and listeners to warrant such an endeavour.

[LordRetard]

Yeah, that's why there are so many movies with improvised dialogue these days, it's often funnier just to listen to other people's inane conversations, because that's often when your weirdest and funniest ideas appear, and usually with better delivery, too.

[Lethal Interjection]

Yeah, that's why there are so many movies with improvised dialogue these days, it's often funnier just to listen to other people's inane conversations, because that's often when your weirdest and funniest ideas appear, and usually with better delivery, too.

Sometimes I can only remember some of the more memorable lines, not the context. For example, said in the Emperor's (from Star Wars) voice:

"I can assure you, my bowels are fully operational!"

[LordRetard]

That's problem #2, you can't include these bits in movies or stand-up because you can't remember them, it's just easier to come up with them on the spot (somehow). I can't remember any lines right now, except for "I don't think I own any black literature", and I think you need the right crowd for that one (MY crowd, if you get my drift).

This is my favourite joke that I've read lately, anyway:

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the employee for an ice cream. The employee asks, "What flavor would you like?"
Michael J. Fox says, "It doesn't matter, I'm just going to fucking drop it".

[Cirtur]

Ediot

[mountainmage]

You mean someone who goes to encyclopediadramatic? Because I'm a major EDiot.

[AHMETxRock]

I can't do real stand up. I've been known to hang with a crowd and knock off jokes constantly, but never did stand up.
I know what you're thinking, being funny in a crowd and being a stand up comedian are two different things.

Well it's not like that. I'd explain but I don't wanna.

[astasia]

Doesn't every kid who thinks they're funny assume they can do stand up?

I think I could. I'm all sorts of hilarious.

[mountainmage]

Woah, I made two people choke and one person spit yesterday! Those are the kind of reactions stand-ups enjoy right?

[astasia]

Woah, I made two people choke and one person spit yesterday! Those are the kind of reactions stand-ups enjoy right?

*sexual innuendo*

[mountainmage]

And here comes astasia to point out the obvious!

[Edminster]

Followed closely by mountainmage and his patented snark!

[mountainmage]

Patent pending. Get it right.

[littleninja]

And here comes astasia to point out the obvious!

You'll have to forgive her. Pointing out the obvious is a service she's used to doing for me.

[mountainmage]

It's cool. But she did ruin my joke, and for that I shall never forgive her!