I read the news today, oh boy

Some of the News, every Once in a While

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slimredninja
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by slimredninja »

Girls don't like being groped?
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LordRetard
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by LordRetard »

Euclidthegreek wrote:Maybe he "bumped into her by accident". . . Or Maybe. . .

They call themselves "Students," at least the girl does. But maybe they're both actually. . .
. . .members of two feuding bands of highly trained international assassin-spies!
This so-called "Stuart Feltham" was touching her in order to inject a lethal neurotoxin into her rear. He had traveled all the way to Greece in order to track her down. But before he could inject the venom, she poured a rare, highly toxic flammable acid onto him (she added it to her drink just before to avoid suspicion). The acid would have burned through his clothes and entered his bloodstream within minutes, but he knew the only way to save himself and set himself on fire. The acid burned away.

This is the real story, people! Know the truth! The fate of the world depends on the agencies' battle.
I had to read this twice before I could understand what you were talking about.
slimredninja wrote:Girls don't like being groped?
That'd totally ruin my whole game if it's true.

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Kimra
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Kimra »

LordRetard wrote:
Euclidthegreek wrote:
slimredninja wrote:Girls don't like being groped?
That'd totally ruin my whole game if it's true.
This one time, I was at a bus stop and this drunk guy walked up and grabbed my boob.* I asked him is he could please stop that and he did. It was neither like or dislike, it was more WTF?
True Story.

*the left one
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Felstaff
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Felstaff »

I apologise: I was conducting an experiment for SCIENCE™. My thesis paper was called 'Left Boob Honk' and my findings were published in Hooters' Journal of Medicine, vol. XIII 2004 pp460-61.

And for your information, I was not drunk. It was simply that it coincidentally followed an earlier scientific experiment, where I was discovering the effects on the brain after drinking water, and how the reactions are different when that water is replaced with a pint of St. Vincent's 169-proof rum.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...

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Kimra
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Kimra »

Felstaff wrote:I apologise: I was conducting an experiment for SCIENCE™. My thesis paper was called 'Left Boob Honk' and my findings were published in Hooters' Journal of Medicine, vol. XIII 2004 pp460-61.

And for your information, I was not drunk. It was simply that it coincidentally followed an earlier scientific experiment, where I was discovering the effects on the brain after drinking water, and how the reactions are different when that water is replaced with a pint of St. Vincent's 169-proof rum.
I don't believe you. You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else. He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.
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GreenCrayon
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by GreenCrayon »

Kimra wrote:He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.
That's the same problem I have, only reversed. People are all, "Hey, GreenCrayon, catch this!" and then they realise my self-portrait avatar is horrifically accurate, and I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.

I am brought before the courts, and found guilty of being a crayon.

My tenses change.

His narrative alters too, into the third person.

Now, nothing but silence.
Pirate.

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Felstaff
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Felstaff »

Kimra wrote:You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else.
Weird, because the girl I gave a good honking to looked like He-Man in a miniskirt. Then again, most girls look like that on a Friday night in the city.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...

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Kimra
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Kimra »

Felstaff wrote:
Kimra wrote:You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else.
Weird, because the girl I gave a good honking to looked like He-Man in a miniskirt. Then again, most girls look like that on a Friday night in the city.
It was a Thursday. I look like a pirate wench on Thursdays.
GreenCrayon wrote:
Kimra wrote:He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.
That's the same problem I have, only reversed. People are all, "Hey, GreenCrayon, catch this!" and then they realise my self-portrait avatar is horrifically accurate, and I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.

I am brought before the courts, and found guilty of being a crayon.

My tenses change.

His narrative alters too, into the third person.

Now, nothing but silence.
Pure gold. I will remember you forever for this.
ImageImageImageImage
King Prawn

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Lethal Interjection
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Lethal Interjection »

4 stars indeed. Great to have you back, sir. Stay.

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Kimra
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Kimra »

Lethal Interjection wrote:4 stars indeed. Great to have you back, sir. Stay. This is not a request.
:D
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Oldrac the Chitinous
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Oldrac the Chitinous »

GreenCrayon wrote: I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.
I recently made up have evidence to the contrary:
Image
Last edited by Oldrac the Chitinous on Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.

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Kimra
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Kimra »

Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:
Kimra wrote: I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.
I recently made up have evidence to the contrary:
Image
I never said that... but the crayon is still excellent.
King Prawn

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Oldrac the Chitinous
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Oldrac the Chitinous »

Oh, um, yeah. Thanks.
It's better now.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.

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Euclidthegreek
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Euclidthegreek »

Kimra wrote:This one time, I was at a bus stop and this drunk guy walked up and grabbed my boob.* I asked him is he could please stop that and he did. It was neither like or dislike, it was more WTF?
True Story.

*the left one
Guys seem to like the left one.

But that is not the point. There is a conspiracy here people! It goes all the way to the very highest levels of the government. What looked like an innocent groping was actually the first subtle move into a new world war. A modern one, with spies and ninjas and reanimated dinosaurs. The outcome of this determines the fate of freedom, and corporations, and all that is good!
Now, to spam everyone I have ever heard of, driving away all friends I have had or ever will have!
Edminster wrote:I'm starting to think Euclid lives in the past.

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Cirtur
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Post by Cirtur »

I think they go for the left one because when you face someone, your right hand is opposite their left side. And as most people are right handed...

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