I read the news today, oh boy
Moderator: GreenCrayon
- slimredninja
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 12:16 am
Re: I read the news today, oh boy
Girls don't like being groped?
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- LordRetard
- The Most Retardedest
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
I had to read this twice before I could understand what you were talking about.Euclidthegreek wrote:Maybe he "bumped into her by accident". . . Or Maybe. . .
They call themselves "Students," at least the girl does. But maybe they're both actually. . .
. . .members of two feuding bands of highly trained international assassin-spies!
This so-called "Stuart Feltham" was touching her in order to inject a lethal neurotoxin into her rear. He had traveled all the way to Greece in order to track her down. But before he could inject the venom, she poured a rare, highly toxic flammable acid onto him (she added it to her drink just before to avoid suspicion). The acid would have burned through his clothes and entered his bloodstream within minutes, but he knew the only way to save himself and set himself on fire. The acid burned away.
This is the real story, people! Know the truth! The fate of the world depends on the agencies' battle.
That'd totally ruin my whole game if it's true.slimredninja wrote:Girls don't like being groped?
- Kimra
- He-Man in a Miniskirt
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
This one time, I was at a bus stop and this drunk guy walked up and grabbed my boob.* I asked him is he could please stop that and he did. It was neither like or dislike, it was more WTF?LordRetard wrote:Euclidthegreek wrote:That'd totally ruin my whole game if it's true.slimredninja wrote:Girls don't like being groped?
True Story.
*the left one
King Prawn
- Felstaff
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
I apologise: I was conducting an experiment for SCIENCE™. My thesis paper was called 'Left Boob Honk' and my findings were published in Hooters' Journal of Medicine, vol. XIII 2004 pp460-61.
And for your information, I was not drunk. It was simply that it coincidentally followed an earlier scientific experiment, where I was discovering the effects on the brain after drinking water, and how the reactions are different when that water is replaced with a pint of St. Vincent's 169-proof rum.
And for your information, I was not drunk. It was simply that it coincidentally followed an earlier scientific experiment, where I was discovering the effects on the brain after drinking water, and how the reactions are different when that water is replaced with a pint of St. Vincent's 169-proof rum.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...
- Kimra
- He-Man in a Miniskirt
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
I don't believe you. You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else. He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.Felstaff wrote:I apologise: I was conducting an experiment for SCIENCE™. My thesis paper was called 'Left Boob Honk' and my findings were published in Hooters' Journal of Medicine, vol. XIII 2004 pp460-61.
And for your information, I was not drunk. It was simply that it coincidentally followed an earlier scientific experiment, where I was discovering the effects on the brain after drinking water, and how the reactions are different when that water is replaced with a pint of St. Vincent's 169-proof rum.
King Prawn
- GreenCrayon
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
That's the same problem I have, only reversed. People are all, "Hey, GreenCrayon, catch this!" and then they realise my self-portrait avatar is horrifically accurate, and I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.Kimra wrote:He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.
I am brought before the courts, and found guilty of being a crayon.
My tenses change.
His narrative alters too, into the third person.
Now, nothing but silence.
Pirate.
- Felstaff
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
Weird, because the girl I gave a good honking to looked like He-Man in a miniskirt. Then again, most girls look like that on a Friday night in the city.Kimra wrote:You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...
- Kimra
- He-Man in a Miniskirt
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
It was a Thursday. I look like a pirate wench on Thursdays.Felstaff wrote:Weird, because the girl I gave a good honking to looked like He-Man in a miniskirt. Then again, most girls look like that on a Friday night in the city.Kimra wrote:You just want to believe you copped a feel, but I know it was someone else.
Pure gold. I will remember you forever for this.GreenCrayon wrote:That's the same problem I have, only reversed. People are all, "Hey, GreenCrayon, catch this!" and then they realise my self-portrait avatar is horrifically accurate, and I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.Kimra wrote:He looked nothing like that little knowing white haired dude you portray yourself as.
I am brought before the courts, and found guilty of being a crayon.
My tenses change.
His narrative alters too, into the third person.
Now, nothing but silence.
King Prawn
- Lethal Interjection
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
4 stars indeed. Great to have you back, sir. Stay.
- Kimra
- He-Man in a Miniskirt
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
Lethal Interjection wrote:4 stars indeed. Great to have you back, sir. Stay. This is not a request.
King Prawn
- Oldrac the Chitinous
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
IGreenCrayon wrote: I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.
Last edited by Oldrac the Chitinous on Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
- Kimra
- He-Man in a Miniskirt
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
I never said that... but the crayon is still excellent.Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:IKimra wrote: I have no appendages with which to grasp the antique vase they're playing catch with.recently made uphave evidence to the contrary:
King Prawn
- Oldrac the Chitinous
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
Oh, um, yeah. Thanks.
It's better now.
It's better now.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
- Euclidthegreek
- Fisty McGee
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
Guys seem to like the left one.Kimra wrote:This one time, I was at a bus stop and this drunk guy walked up and grabbed my boob.* I asked him is he could please stop that and he did. It was neither like or dislike, it was more WTF?
True Story.
*the left one
But that is not the point. There is a conspiracy here people! It goes all the way to the very highest levels of the government. What looked like an innocent groping was actually the first subtle move into a new world war. A modern one, with spies and ninjas and reanimated dinosaurs. The outcome of this determines the fate of freedom, and corporations, and all that is good!
Now, to spam everyone I have ever heard of, driving away all friends I have had or ever will have!
Edminster wrote:I'm starting to think Euclid lives in the past.
- Cirtur
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Re: I read the news today, oh boy
I think they go for the left one because when you face someone, your right hand is opposite their left side. And as most people are right handed...