I read the news today, oh boy

Some of the News, every Once in a While

Moderator: GreenCrayon

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Liriodendron_fagotti » Sat Dec 12, 2015 7:44 pm

I like to imagine a farmer tilling the land 300 years in the future finding all these pacemakers and dentures.
Continual disappointment is the spice of life.
User avatar
Liriodendron_fagotti
(Eastern Bassoon Poplar)
 
Posts: 1227
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:34 pm
Location: :noitacoL

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby trickcyclist » Sat Dec 12, 2015 10:24 pm

There are a couple of green burial sites near our house. I like the idea. I think either that, or donating my cast off husk to one of those research body farms where they watch you slowly decay to inform future episodes of CSI.
The tracks are curved and my train of thought accelerates tangentially. Whooo whooooo.
User avatar
trickcyclist
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 7:41 am
Location: Britain

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby trickcyclist » Sat Dec 12, 2015 10:25 pm

Liriodendron_fagotti wrote:I like to imagine a farmer tilling the land 300 years in the future finding all these pacemakers and dentures.


The pacemakers have to be removed in the UK. The undertaker gets a fee for it. If you don't remove them and get cremated they have a tendency to explode.
The tracks are curved and my train of thought accelerates tangentially. Whooo whooooo.
User avatar
trickcyclist
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 7:41 am
Location: Britain

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Edminster » Sun Dec 13, 2015 12:18 am

trickcyclist wrote:
Liriodendron_fagotti wrote:I like to imagine a farmer tilling the land 300 years in the future finding all these pacemakers and dentures.


The pacemakers have to be removed in the UK. The undertaker gets a fee for it. If you don't remove them and get cremated they have a tendency to explode.

All the more reason to leave them in! Gotta keep the crematorium technicians on their toes, after all.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8836
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby smiley_cow » Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:28 pm

DonRetrasado wrote:Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Bitcoin.
User avatar
smiley_cow
polite but murderous
 
Posts: 6518
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:15 pm
Location: The vast and desolate prairies

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Edminster » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:58 am

ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8836
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Kimra » Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:14 am

The scary thing is, Daniel Radcliff can pick and choose his movies as he likes. He PICKED that one.

"Also, he apparently rides him like a jet ski." - I want to know if this is a euphemism, but also I don't want to know.
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Kaharz » Sun Jan 24, 2016 1:43 pm

Apparently he literally uses him as a fart powered jet ski.
Kaharz wrote:I don't need a title. I have no avatar or tagline either. I am unique in my lack of personal identifiers.
User avatar
Kaharz
This Intentionally Left Blank
 
Posts: 1572
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:17 pm

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Astrogirl » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:46 pm


How does the Sundance Movie Festival work? Famous actors get to suggest movies?
Microaggression? Microaggression!
User avatar
Astrogirl
so close, yet so far
 
Posts: 2076
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:51 am

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Kimra » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:53 am

Astrogirl wrote:How does the Sundance Movie Festival work? Famous actors get to suggest movies?


I just had a very brief look at this. Apparently anyone can submit a film they have made. They get up to 18,000 entries. Someone at the festival will watch the movie, if they like it they push it up the ranks, if they don't it gets rejected. Then they look at the upper ones and do things like reject all but one with a similar theme etc etc.

It sounds all very boring. But the film makers have to submit.
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Edminster » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:59 am

So what you're saying is, Dan Radcliffe's Farting Boner Corpse Bonanza: The Movie was the best of the myriad farting boner corpse movies which were submitted. Good to know.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8836
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Felstaff » Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:46 am

smiley_cow wrote:The aliens are silent because they are all extinct

Well today in sad headlines.


I don't think that's necessarily true. I've thought a lot about the Fermi Paradox, and my reasoning boils down to 'well, if we haven't found them yet, why do we think they can find us?'

We're but an unimportant speck in an unimportant tendril of an unimportant galaxy. There's 10^22 stars out there - for every grain of sand on every beach on earth, there are 10,000 stars in existence. Even a conservative estimate of 0.1% of of those stars having an earth-like planet capable of evolving life (as we know it, Jim), it still results in at least a coupla thousand of possibly-sentient life forms currently inhabiting the Milky Way. They're having a whale of a time, solar-system hopping in their galactic Porsche Spyders like some sort of extraterrestrial planet-harvesting James Dean. We're nothing but a small patch of mould behind their grandmother's fridge; and she lives way out in a trailer in the sticks. James Dean never looks at mould behind his own fridge, let alone grandma's.

I crossed through the currently, as there's a 99.9% chance a.) they are extinct, b.) they haven't evolved to harness the power of interstellar colonisation yet, or c.) they have but we're too miniscule and irrelevant to their plans; we're as unnoticed as emokid2001's poem "She Can't Understand the Bleakness of My Soul" on DeviantArt. Or d.) they're a bunch of hyperintelligent crystalline beings, who can't move 'cause they're goddamn crystals. Or e.) they're already here, but exist on a plane that's out of our scope of perception, either by dimension or magnitude.

If they're at b.), and they're not at the not-killing-each-other-for-religious-reasons yet, then they won't be at the point of slithering out of the primordial soup for another coupla eons, give or take an epoch or two. Humans have had the tiniest window on time imaginable. After being in the evolutionary oven for a few billion years or so, in the Great TimeClock, it was only one second ago we discovered the moon revolves around the earth. Two seconds ago we were worshiping the sun god as he passed across the sky in his golden chariot, and three seconds ago we discovered fire (and celebrated by clubbing our neighbour and scrawling a poorly-drawn yak on a cave wall). Twenty minutes ago, the dinosaurs left the party. Suffice to say, the point in which humanity peaks is probably very unlikely synchronised with the point another civilisation does. However, the chance is increased by the fact we all began with the same starting gun - and that made one hell of a Big Bang - so there might be stronger synchronicity between our development and nonterrestrial civilisations - but it only takes a planet to cool or warm a few degrees more than us at a critical juncture in special development for the process to be expedited or retarded by half a gazillion years.

So they're not all extinct. We just haven't synchronised our evolutionary Casio watches with theirs. Half of them might be extinct already, and half might not be extinct until they discover nukes in a few million years' time. Or they get a four-mile meteor to the face in the year 20,162,016 A.D. Basically, the alien races out there--us included--might not have even hit The Great Filter yet. Or they have, and it wiped them out. Or they have, and survived. Or they have, survived, and thrived. Or they have, survived, thrived, and colonised the nearest inhabitable planet. Or they have, survived, thrived, colonised and expanded. Or they have, survived, thrived, colonised, expanded and now control the entire galaxy. And we're just the mould behind their grandma's fridge.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...
User avatar
Felstaff
XKCD spy
 
Posts: 784
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:37 pm

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Astrogirl » Mon Jan 25, 2016 8:37 pm

There is this long tumblr post with nice pictures http://greenskyoverme.tumblr.com/post/1 ... -the-fermi that lists several solutions/explanations to the Fermi Paradox.
Microaggression? Microaggression!
User avatar
Astrogirl
so close, yet so far
 
Posts: 2076
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:51 am

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby Lethal Interjection » Fri Jan 29, 2016 9:37 pm

Felstaff wrote: we're as unnoticed as emokid2001's poem "She Can't Understand the Bleakness of My Soul" on DeviantArt.


I'm having to restrain myself from looking up that poem.
User avatar
Lethal Interjection
Death by Elocution
 
Posts: 8057
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: Behind your ear. It's magic!

Re: I read the news today, oh boy

Postby GUTCHUCKER » Sun Feb 07, 2016 7:47 am

Datanazush wrote:I ship Mohammed and Jehova.
User avatar
GUTCHUCKER
Gotchucker's less handsome twin
 
Posts: 2124
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2010 2:26 am
Location: Paradise City?

PreviousNext

Return to Random News Network

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest