Admin Idol Poll

[TwoBuy]

Crayon, since you want a precious democracy, lets have it!

You all have 1 week to vote.

Let the voting begin!

[hawhaw1267]

I vote for the dictator who can give me the most sick days.

[GreenCrayon]

This is gonna be a big post.

I'm feeling that this is all a bit rigged. I considered not voting, as a protest. I also considered voting for "the most posts" and spamming the life out of the forums, but it's not my style.

I think I can only win this one with weight of numbers.

Well, I've already got Jesster on side, or as I call him now, Widgit, on account of his enormous genitals, incredible dress sense, superior IQ and ability to whip up a gourmet meal for 7 using only a dozen strawberries and a pinch of mixed herbs. Jesster shall rule as my second in command when these Outlands are under my oppressive thumb. How many people can you say are on your side, TwoBuy?

If any of you posters out there are having indecisions, I've compiled this brief list of reasons you shouldn't vote for TwoBuy.

TwoBuy sneaks into orphanages at night, and wets a random orphan's bed. Sometimes, after a long drinking session, he doesn't use urine.

The only possession TwoBuy values more than his Peter Andre poster is his extensive collection of Zachz. He has more Zachz than you will ever have, and constantly laughs about this behind your back. When he has friends around, he dresses one of his Zachz up to look like you, and another one to look like him, and he pretends they're making out, while humming "Like a Virgin".

TwoBuy has conspired with Bitchy McLady to have the SMBC site shut down. They intend to start a new site, called Monday Afternoon Lunchtime Snack, which Bitchy refers to as their "lovechild". It's one of those webcomics about feelings, all drawn with pastels and hard-to-read hand-written word balloons.

Remember that time when TwoBuy thought wolf was a guy? Heh, that was funny.

TwoBuy has some unorthodox religious practices. You know when you're walking along and you feel a speck of rain, but it's not actually raining? That's TwoBuy, with a voodoo doll in your likeness, licking it on the face.

You know when you're doing really well with a girl/boy and suddenly she/he just calls everything off? That's because TwoBuy has phoned her/him up, and said that you were only dating on a bet. Then TwoBuy scores your ex on the rebound. Then TwoBuy never calls her/him.

TwoBuy is the person who goes into restaurants and loosens the top on every Nackle shaker in there.

Have you ever seen a fieldmouse so delicate and beautiful that merely glimpsing upon its wonderousness takes away your every feeling of guilt? That by its mere presence makes you happy like you'd never believed possible? That its delicate odor quite simply makes all the pain go away? TwoBuy has. He keeps it in his basement so you can't see it.

TwoBuy always buys twice as much food as he needs when he's shopping, just to hold up the queue. The extra food, he drops on the floor in inappropriate places.

Have you ever noticed that TwoBuy constantly makes Jerry Simpiro references? That's because it's the only movie he's ever seen. He thinks "full motion picture" refers to colouring books.

That'll do for now.

I vote for the dictator who can give me the most sick days.

That would definitely be me, then. I intend for you and tucker to have to spend a lot of time "sick".

[Simon.]

Well, I'm sold. GreenCrayon is in the winning seat at the moment.

But, out of common courtesy, I will give TwoBuy some time to formulate a counter-argument before I submit my vote.

To the polls!

[GreenCrayon]

Well, I'm sold. GreenCrayon is in the winning seat at the moment.

I'm overjoyed. After seeing your vote-incentive picture, I'm especially happy to have your swing-vote presently pointed in my direction. If you do actually vote for me, I was thinking your nickname should be "Mr. Simes", because of your close connection to, and command over, undead pirate swarms, which can be used to subjugate the masses of these filthy Outlands. It also speaks of your commanding presence, your scrupulous honesty, your ohgodpleasevoteforme

[TwoBuy]

Reason's not to vote for GreenCrayon:

All that stuff Crayon wrote, plus:

1. he called the cashier's line a "queue"!
2. he doesn't constantly make Jerry Simpiro references.
3. and the first two options are obviously the front runners. Voting Crayon is like throwing your vote away on a Ross Perot.

Loser.

Also, he's far too nice to rule. Imagine what will happen when the Good # Luck hords return.

That's right, scare tatics; I went there.

[TwoBuy]

Loser.

Oh, and you know he wouldn't have tried to rig the election. Do you really want an admin who thinks he's better than you? Mr. Moral High Ground.

[GreenCrayon]

and the first two options are obviously the front runners.

Which first two options are you looking at, TwoBuy? Hmmm... methinks I detect a touch of senility.

Also, he's far too nice to rule.

After all those things I wrote about you? You still think I'm nice? Man, I've gotta change my image.

[Simon.]

Not lookin' good there TwoBuy. I have been promised a position of substantial influence if I vote for GreenCrayon. Can you better this offer? I wonder.

[GreenCrayon]

Oh, and you know he wouldn't have tried to rig the election.

He, as in me, also doesn't double-post because he, as in me, knows how to use the edit feature. As such, he, as in me, doesn't have 300+ posts because of correcting mistakes.

See, I'm trying hard not to be nice.

[Simon.]

"Mr. Simes", because of your close connection to, and command over, undead pirate swarms

How did you know that*?

*Seriously?

[TwoBuy]

Obviously. I promise to at least pretend to care about your concerns. And I promise that any silent ruing of said dreams behind your back will never be entirely for pleasure*. I promise all of my voters will be the last ones I make take a fall for my mistakes as ruler. Also, you can call yourselves something interesting; like Secret Spikey Guard or something like that. Oh, and free oil spills!

He, as in me, also doesn't double-post because he, as in me, knows how to use the edit feature

How's this for an edit:
Free Thrifty drinks for everyone!

*Unless it would be funnier that way.

[GreenCrayon]

How did you know that*?
*Seriously?

I read refried. and you mentioned you're from there, so I assumed you were that Simon. Hey, I'm allowed to read webcomics other than SMBC. I think.

Also, you can call yourselves something interesting; like Secret Spikey Guard or something like that.

My voters have the same option. They may also call themselves the Secret Spikey Guard. I so decree.

[Simon.]

I read refried. and you mentioned you're from there...

... My voters have the same option. They may also call themselves the Secret Spikey Guard. I so decree.

Ohh, right ok, yeah I see, I forgot about that. Yes I am that Simon.

And sorry boys, I don't really like the name Secret Spiky Guard, it doesn't do it for me. For the moment, I'm still aspiring to be Mr Simes. Also, think of the anagram mix ups with SSG!

Stupid Slimy Girls, Stupid Silly Girls, Sultry Sausage Girls. So many girls! Not to mention Simes Smells Girls (underwear).

What are you trying to say about me guys?

[GreenCrayon]

How's this for an edit:

I don't know. I don't think a leader should flip-flop so easily like that. I mean, you had your thing. You'd double-post. I might not have agreed that this was the best way of doing things, but at least you stuck to what you believed in. Now, you're just showing lack of backbone. Tsk.

I don't really like the name Secret Spiky Guard

Good point. Sultry Sausage Girls smells like something TwoBuy's administration would make compulsory.