Talk to Strangers

[mountainmage]

Proof that that "phrase" is not going to spread.

[Edminster]

Code: Select all

OmegleBot (12:29:19 PM): You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! (When the conversation is over, type $disconnect.)
OmegleBot (12:29:22 PM): hi
RetsnimdeCorp (12:29:28 PM): BLARGHAHARGLE!
OmegleBot (12:29:32 PM): howe are you?
RetsnimdeCorp (12:29:39 PM): Quite well, yourself?
OmegleBot (12:29:48 PM): fine, yhank you
OmegleBot (12:29:54 PM): where are you from?
RetsnimdeCorp (12:30:04 PM): Canadia, you?
OmegleBot (12:30:11 PM): holland
RetsnimdeCorp (12:30:17 PM): Nice!
OmegleBot (12:30:21 PM): yes
OmegleBot (12:30:24 PM): :)
RetsnimdeCorp (12:30:29 PM): I actually know nothing about Holland.
OmegleBot (12:30:46 PM): oooo
OmegleBot (12:30:54 PM): howe old are you?
RetsnimdeCorp (12:30:59 PM): Except that I'm fairly certain that hollandaise sauce has nothing to do withyour fine country.
RetsnimdeCorp (12:31:09 PM): Does it matter how old I am?
OmegleBot (12:31:28 PM): yes
RetsnimdeCorp (12:31:31 PM): Why?
OmegleBot (12:31:44 PM): no
OmegleBot (12:31:57 PM): i my no
OmegleBot (12:32:03 PM): sorry
OmegleBot (12:32:13 PM): i am so sorry
RetsnimdeCorp (12:32:17 PM): For what?
OmegleBot (12:32:18 PM): Your conversational partner has disconnected. Type $connect if you would like to chat with another random stranger.

I don't think 'BLARGHAHARGLE' is to blame for this one, though.

[mountainmage]

Ahh, ok. Taken out of context it looked like he ran away after your enthusiastic blarghahargling.

[LordRetard]

For future reference, the correct answer is 13/f/cali.

[Edminster]

For future reference, the correct answer is 13/f/cali.

Duly noted, and shall be used in the future.

enthusiastic blarghahargling

That's a great band name. Just sayin'.

[mountainmage]

Oh, my friend and I came up with a good one: Gateway Final. See, he's taking a gateway course (whatever that is, it has something to do with music. He's a music major), and he has a final coming up in that class, and I was like "Dude. Great band name."

[Edminster]

Code: Select all

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BLARGHAHARGLE!
Stranger: Hi I'm pete
You: I'm repeat.
Stranger: My thoughts exactly
You: If we were both sitting on a fence and you fell off, who would be left?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It was the only reasonable path of conversation.

[LordRetard]

If only I had realised that I wasn't so unforgivably boring, I would've been able to hold a conversation. Turns out I simply don't have that much to say.

EDIT:

Code: Select all

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey.
Stranger: you have 3 question ,go ahead
You: Rockin'.
You: 1. What's the approximate distance between Earth's north and south poles?
Stranger: who cares,maybe god knows
You: WRONG it's about 20,000 km.
You: Ready for another question?
Stranger: yea...
You: 2. In mad cow disease, what does "BSE" stand for?
Stranger: bovino spongiform encephalopathy,i am clever ,isnt it?
You: That's it! Sounds sexy. Ready for the final question?
Stranger: er....hold it...i wanna take a deep breath
You: Go ahead, just say the word when you're ready.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Isn't that what most people do when told that they have 3 question?

If anyone cares, the answer to the third question was "the stethoscope".

Code: Select all

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey.
Stranger: hi
You: What's up?
Stranger: from?
You: Liar!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Lethal Interjection]

Some gems from this afternoon.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, do your feet smell?
You: They don't
You: They have no olfactory sensors.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HELLO!
Stranger: candles or bananas?
You: candles
You: I hate bananas.
Stranger: are you a communist?
You: Define communist.
Stranger: a man who sells oranges on the freeway
You: Then no.
Stranger: good
You: I sell oranges at the market.
Stranger: your okay with me then
Stranger: you like pirates?
You: I haven't met one I didn't like.
Stranger: your a good man
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HELLO!
Stranger: Why are there only ever the same two people here?
Stranger: and how do I change my username to something other than 'you'?
You: Wait, I'm You.
You: You are Stranger.
Stranger: What? No, you're Stranger! I'm You!
You: Hold on.
You: This is crazy.
You: You are you, and I am you, but we are both strangers?
Stranger: Did someone divide by ze-OH SHIT!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[LordRetard]

Code: Select all

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello!
You: You like to party?
Stranger: yes
You: Me too.
You: Parties are kick-ass.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: from?
You: SENTENCE FRAGMENT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I don't understand why their first question is always "from?" I'm really not interested in meeting up with weird, anonymous strangers who just want to know "from?"

[Sahan]

Here is a massive conversation I just had. I try to be random, but no-one else seems up for it.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: blarg
Stranger: hey!
You: hay
You: do have a piano
Stranger: no
Stranger: but i have a keyboard
You: what I meant to say was, do you have a piano?
You: Keyboard = piano
Stranger: yes, i don't
You: I mean, what's the difference?
You: one is electrical
Stranger: and the other isn't
You: you still call an electric guitar a guitar though
You: its some crazy 'fret board' or something like that
Stranger: here in my country it's different
You: why don't you snobby keyboard players call it an electric piano like all the cool people do?
You: yeah, I figured
You: it's always about your country isn't it
You: ISN'T IT?
Stranger: i think so
Stranger: what's your country?
You: I don't have a country
You: she abandoned me when I was born
You: daddy had to take care of me by himself
Stranger: where you were born?
You: in a hospital
You: you?
Stranger: me too
Stranger: so
You: crazy
Stranger: we're like from the same place
Stranger: what hospital?
You: pretty much
You: you still going out tomorrow night?
Stranger: no
You: how come?
Stranger: i have to study
You: work piling up again?
You: yeah, well screw study
You: have a good time
Stranger: thank you, crazy guy
You: if you really cared about study, why would you even be here?
Stranger: i just got home from the library
You: Prove it
Stranger: i can't
Stranger: you would have to believe me
You: I knew it! You're lying
Stranger: ask me about mechanic
You: hey stranger, mechanic?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: sp
Stranger: *so
You: you asked me to ask you about mechanic
Stranger: where are you now?
You: and I did
You: I don't see what more you could want from me
Stranger: in which country?
You: where am I now?
You: South Atlantis
You: well, it's actually closer to South-South-West Atlantis
You: but the boundaris are a bit weird
Stranger: isn't atlantis under water by now?
You: yeah
You: the internet reception is great
You: and the spy sattelites can't reach us
Stranger: i imagined
Stranger: so
Stranger: how are the women there?
You: they're all doing pretty good
You: say they can't complain
Stranger: are they pretty?
You: pretty ok yeah
Stranger: yeah
You: like I said, they're doing well
Stranger: you can't answer one question!
You: I can too
Stranger: yes
Stranger: so
You: What's 1 + 1 ?
You: 2
You: see
You: answered
Stranger: people in atlantis must be really white
You: no, they're pretty blue
Stranger: how do you survive with no sun?
You: how do you survive with no sncgjerfod?
You: that's what's always interested me
You: no-one ever really comes to visit us, they think we're a little weird
You: but the women are pretty ok
You: they say they're doing well
Stranger: what's sncgjerfod?
You: it's hard to explain
You: its like, something you always have to have around, or else you die
Stranger: try it
Stranger: like energy?
You: I don't understandf why though
You: what do you do when you do whatever
You: are you free Saturday night?
You: because you know, I was thinking
You: there's this new restaurant opened up just downtown
Stranger: downtown where?
You: and you know I thought it would be nice
You: Atalantis of course
You: so, you up for it?
Stranger: i don't wanted to hurt your feelings
Stranger: but atlantis doesn't exist, sweet
You: so you saying I don't exist??
You: how could you be so harsh
You: I will exist, in your heart and in your mind
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: i won't forget this weird conversation soon
You: take my hand, and I will show you Atlantis
You: and you will never believe those doubters again
Stranger: how can i get to atlantis?
You: just take my hand
You: or you know, walk down to the 5th avenue
You: check your Atalantsi map
You: *or better yet, your Atlantis map
Stranger: yeah
You: Atalantsi is a long way away from where I live
Stranger: but i can't your hand from here
Stranger: and i don't have a atlantis map
You: ... It seems you are further away than I thought
Stranger: and in my city the avenues have names, no numbers
You: I thought you said you were born in a hospital too?
You: so we must live close by
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: brazilian hospital
You: Tell me, do you see a giant building in the shape of a banana from your window
You: ?
You: is it to the north, or to the South?
You: If you live colse to me, it will be between the amphitheatre and where the giant squid us now
Stranger: i've never seen a banana building
You: but its huge! You can see from everywhere in the entire kingdom!
Stranger: what kingdom?
You: The Kindom of Aesgothford Sncgjerfodia
You: you don't live in the kingdom?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i live in the real world
You: It pains me to tell you this, but I don't think we can maintain our relationship over sucha long distance
You: it just wouldn't work out you know?
Stranger: no
You: I'm sorry it has come to this
Stranger: where are you from?
Stranger: just tell me
You: oh dearest, it seems the pain has caused you to lose your memory!
You: but I will never forget this encounter
You: Farewell sweet prince!
Stranger: yeah
You have disconnected.

[Lethal Interjection]

I like the "Are you still going out tonight" line.
Like the time I opened the conversation with "OMG, I LOVE your shirt!"
They did play along for about 2 seconds.

[LordRetard]

This is an epic the likes of which you will never see. Except that you are, right now. If I were Homer this would be my Odyssey, or a less boring Iliad.

Code: Select all

You: Hello1
You: !
Stranger: 0 points
You: Ouch, really?
You: How do I get more?
Stranger: yeah...that was a terrible entrance to the conversation
Stranger: your form was terrible
You: Can I try again?
Stranger: um, sure
Stranger: go for it
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 1
Stranger: your on!
You: Ahoy-hoy, good sir! What have you this fine morrow?
Stranger: ehh, 4 points
You: Nice.
You: What's today's high score?
Stranger: out of 10
Stranger: 8.5
You: And the line?
Stranger: it was rather crude, but it was fairly original
Stranger: it went like thie
Stranger: this*
Stranger: "asl?"
You: Ohh I think I saw that guy earlier.
You: Yeah, I can't really compete with that.
Stranger: yeah, i've seen him a couple of times actually
You: But he never remembers me!
You: He must have a lot of friends.
Stranger: when i went for my attempt at an original conversation started
Stranger: he just disconnected
Stranger: yeah you must be right
You: Probably off to impress the next person with his brilliant opening line.
You: Clearly, he is an altruist.
Stranger: probably...its just ashame
Stranger: i still had to give him his prize
You: You're not the one and only thing in his heart, I guess.
You: What was the prize?
Stranger: 7 night trip for 2 to the bahamas
You: Isn't that a little too much pressure?
Stranger: what do you mean?
You: Well he has to pick who to take, right?
Stranger: well most likely
You: And obviously the appropriate response is to take you, right? But maybe he wants to take someone else.
Stranger: no, i wouldn't want to go, he's not my type
Stranger: i know!, he could take you!
You: I don't know, sometimes I talk to him and it's like I don't even exist...
You: He's just so dreamy...
Stranger: i wouldn't take it that far...
You: You clearly don't know him like I do.
You: You wouldn't understand what we have.
Stranger: apparently...he was too to-the-point with me if you know what i mean
You: That's what I like about him! No nonsense, no games!
You: We know what we both want in this relationship.
Stranger: Ha! I finally found you!! I am the asl? man!
You: OMG
Stranger: and you thought you could hide from me!
You: THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
You: OMG
You: WHY DID YOU TRICK ME
You: OMG
Stranger: I finally found a trick that worked on you, and you fell for it!
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
You: I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU
Stranger: then why were you hiding from me for so long?
You: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY
Stranger: we'll here i am!
You: How do I know you won't leave me again?
Stranger: I'll never leave you again baby
You: I just need some sort of commitment.
Stranger: whatever you want, it's yours
You: Can we get married?
You: And I want you to meet my parents.
Stranger: well lets start with that first
Stranger: maybe they won't even like me
You: Oh, of course they'll like you!
Stranger: I'm scared!
You: Just pull your pants up and don't smoke any weed before you show up.
Stranger: but! but!
You: The last guy who showed up stoned, daddy beat him to death with a rake and buried him in the backyard.
You: It was SO AWKWARD.
Stranger: that's the only way i won't break out in hives!
Stranger: you know that
You: I've been meaning to ask you that, did your doctor really say that you have to be high all of the time?
Stranger: well he's working on a cure, but in the meantime, yes
Stranger: its only temporary, i promise
You: asl?-guy, I talked to Dr. Thompson. That's not what he said.
Stranger: ...what did he say?
You: Why did you lie to me?
You: Wait... Was there more?
Stranger: ...
You: OH MY GOD
Stranger: I thought you knew!!!
You: YOU HAVE AIDS DON'T YOU
Stranger: NO...but you're pregnant!!!!
You: OMG WHAT
Stranger: he tested your blood last week to make sure you also didnt have the disease that i had
You: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IM PREGNANT
You: OMG YOU DIDNT TELL ME THAT
Stranger: I thought he told you!
You: He didn't tell me anythig!
You: Why did you keep this from me!?
You: I thought you told me I couldn't get pregnant in that position!
Stranger: and i quote, "asl?-guy, I talked to Dr. Thompson"
You: He didn't tell me THAT!
Stranger: tehehe, i lied
You: WHAT
You: OMG
You: YOU ASSHOLE
Stranger: sorry!!! in the heat of the night, it just happened!
You: "It just happened" my ass!
Stranger: no, it definately wasn't in your ass
You: Well maybe it SHOULD have been!
Stranger: next time baby, maybe next time
You: Well it's too late now!
You: And you're the father, and that means YOU'RE helping me take care of our baby.
You: No running off anymore!
Stranger: do i have to?!
You: No more other girlfriends!
Stranger: can't we just get your dad to, "beat him to death with a rake and bury him in the backyard"
You: Ugh all you men are the same, you all have the same solution for every problem.
You: Please, my dad tried using a rake on my mother and that's how I was born! I can't rely on him like that.
Stranger: oh god, we're already arguing and we aren't even married yet
You: You're the one who's pulling us apart!
Stranger: and you remember the raking of your mother?
You: I saw him when my mother was pregnant with my sister and he had to explain himself. Luckily he took care of that one.
Stranger: you have a sister?
You: Not anymore.
You: Rake-based abortions have only about a 50% success rate.
Stranger: damn, and i was going to ask if she was hot
You: Well, if you're into that sort of thing... HEY!
Stranger: Hey?
You: I'm trying to have a discussion here, and you're thinking about sleeping with dead fetuses?
Stranger: i didn't know that she was dead when i asked
You: Puh-LEASE, that's some excuse.
Stranger: i just thought it would be hot to sleep with my fiance's sister
You: Okay, that's it, asl?-guy, it's over.
Stranger: over?
Stranger: no!
You: You're so immature and you don't understand me!
You: Maybe call me when you GROW UP.
Stranger: what about our baby?!
You: You're paying child support, but I don't want my baby to learn how to handle relationships like YOU.
Stranger: but my other kids really want to meet it!
You: I can't let my baby know that kind of father.
You: WHAT other kids!?
Stranger: ...oh god, you didn't know that?
You: This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
You: You're always keeping secrets from me!
You: Well, no more!
Stranger: but my other wife really want to meet you!
You: And if my baby is born with baby-AIDS I'm going to get my father to fucking KILL you!
Stranger: baby-AIDS? lol
You: Isn't that what it's called?
Stranger: i'm not sure that i've ever heard of that
Stranger: but sure, if it makes you happy hunny
You: Well, if I got your disease that's what our baby is going to have.
Stranger: good, you started using the word 'our', thats a good first step
You: I'm going now. Don't call me, and if I see you and you say "asl?" one more time then you've got a prayer.
You: Got it?
Stranger: :(
Stranger: goodbye my love
You: Bye, asshole.
Stranger: do i even get to know your name?
You: It's "You". Isn't that what you have?
Stranger: you've always been a stranger to me
You: And you to me.
You: That's why things couldn't work out better.
Stranger: please take care of charlie for me
You: I'm not naming him Charlie, he's taking a name from MY family.
Stranger: charlie is your grandfathers name silly
You: It's Mortimer, and if you cared you'd remember something like that!
Stranger: your other grandfather
You: ... Oh my God.
Stranger: i know
You: Did you give me your Alzheimer's-AIDS?
Stranger: no?
Stranger: charlie did
You: Don't lie. I always know when you're lying.
You: Charlie got tested.
Stranger: i don't believe you
You: He's clean.
You: Ugh, you can't even trust me!
Stranger: is he clean in the same way you weren't pregnant?
You: ...
You: Don't try to confuse me.
Stranger: everything's all fine and dandy until BAM!
You: Dr. Thompson would never get something like that wrong.
Stranger: you're pregnant
You: It's your fault.
You: I hate you.
Stranger: hey now, you agreed to everything that happened that night
You: I was DRUNK and you knew it!
You: Drunk means no! Read the posters on campus!
Stranger: You shouldn't drink while being pregnant!
You: Ugh. I don't even know why I'm still here.
Stranger: it's because you know you love me
You: Goodbye. Don't ask me "asl?" again.
Stranger: and the second you close this window, you will spend hours searchinf for me
Stranger: there will be imposters
Stranger: but it will never be me again
You: I know it's you, you can't fool me.
You: You're just trying to keep me from going.
Stranger: NEVER!
You: You're always the same, you always want the same thing.
You: I didn't even KNOW you could get pregnant from cybering.
Stranger: soooo...wannna make another baby tonight...charlie seems lonely
You: Fuck off, asshole. Goodbye.
Stranger: ill take that as a yes!
You: ...
You have disconnected.

[Lethal Interjection]

That one was thoroughly hilarious. Great stuff.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you found Jesus?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: have u?
You: That's too bad.
You: Been looking for him all evening.
Stranger: Weird
You: He's killer at hide and seek.
Stranger: u r so weird
You: I surely am.
Stranger: and where r u now?
You: At the computer.
You: Clearly.
Stranger: home or a cafe
You: He's not here.
Stranger: surely is
You: Oooh, a cafe!
Stranger: haha
Stranger: fuck u
You: That seems like a place where Jesus might hang out.
Stranger: u make sick
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[mountainmage]

Dude, people have been looking for him for thousands of years! You don't find Jesus. Jesus finds you.