Talk to Strangers

[cheez.wiz]

In Soviet Russia, Jesus finds you.

[Sahan]

Drama aplenty with this conversation!

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: why doesit ask us to say hi?
You: Does it assume we don't know how to talk to strangers?
Stranger: because it thinks it needs to
Stranger: yes
You: Why would it assume that?
Stranger: because it thinks it needs to 
Stranger: How're you?
You: Why do you ask?
Stranger: Because I want to.
You: To what purpose would such an answer benifit you?
Stranger: How else am I supposed to seduce you?
You: How about you coming along to dinner like I asked you already??
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: What's for dinner, honey?
You: God, it's like everytime I talk to you you're a completely different person
Stranger: It'd be easier if you werent' such a complete whore.
You: Like I said, the restaurant is opening up in L'Aquarium downtoen
Stranger: Stop sleeping with the neighbors.
You: I'm hearing rave reviews
Stranger: ok
You: But they have such comfortable beds!
Stranger: so do we
You: Our bed is always full of other people
Stranger: And I don't want to catch something.
You: There's no room for me on our bed
Stranger: I'll kick the dors out from now on.
Stranger: dogs
You: And I like catching things anyway, I'm very good
You: Why are you sleeping withthe dogs?
Stranger: they think the bed is comfortable.
You: And I think the neighbours bed is more comfortable
Stranger: Fine
You: Hows work going?
Stranger: So... really... waht do I have to be to chat with you?
Stranger: good
Stranger: You?
You: Well as good as one can be when their husband locks them up inside the house
You: is this the only way we communicate?
Stranger: You should tell him not to do that. Do you want me to kill him for you?
You: YOU ARE MY HUSBAND!
You: also, yes, go ahead
Stranger: I most certainly am not
Stranger: You have me confused with someone else, ma'am
You: STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW
You: I knew it was a mistake to give my love to you stranger
Stranger: maybe you should be trying to fuck me.
You: my friends told me that I knew nothing abou you but I didn't listen!
You: They said I could never tell if you truly loved me
Stranger: I do love you, htough.
You: don't you remember that summers day
You: NO YOU DON"T
You: you think the way you treat me is called love?????
Stranger: yes, I do.
Stranger: I bring you flowers fortnightly, I make you dinner every night.
Stranger: I always make sur eyou finish first when we make love
You: My dinner and those flowers were one and the same!
Stranger: Just because you went on a vegan kick isn't my fault.
Stranger: You didn't have to eat them, I offered you something else.
You: I am fine with flowers
Stranger: well, please don't blame me for it, then.
You: but don't try to act like it was two act of kindness
You: it was only one
You: and my heart yearns for more, possibly more than you could ever provide
Stranger: Then leave me.
Stranger: You've been looking for a reason to for years
Stranger: leave behind your beautiful children.
You: they are coming with me
Stranger: Then leave me alone. I'm bound to find someone who actually appreciates my love
You: I will not have them be brought up by such an irresponsible man
Stranger: The hell you will.
You: I thought I knew you
Stranger: I'd rather die first.
You: Go ahead then
You: Do us all some justice!
Stranger: Maybe I should just kill you.
Stranger: that'd be easier.
You: Why has it come down to this?

Stranger: Ditch your body in a pond.
Stranger: You brought it to this.
You: Why do we have to fight like this every time??
You: Don't you remember last summer?

Stranger: How could I forget/
Stranger: ?
You: You had amnesia
Stranger: No longer
You: I looked after you all that time
You: You were still in hospital
You: you couldn't remember anything
Stranger: I've never been in a hospital. Waht are you talking about?
You: And l iloved you and cared for you
Stranger: If you want to hold on to me, I demand a blowjob.
You: Don't you remember?

Stranger: I guess that's a no
Stranger: Goodbye, *sweetheart*
You: where are you going?
You: I want to come along too!
Stranger: you know what it's going to take
You: where are you going?
Stranger: You know how I like it when you hum
You: I am humming
Stranger: blow me
You: but I don't think you can hear me
You: whooosh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Also, a great discussion that took place.

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: gday
You: How good are you with chemistry?
Stranger: wow um, i ate natriumgloride once
You: I totally need to study for my chemistry test
Stranger: hm cant help sorry
Stranger: good luck anyways
You: yeah, I don't think natriumgloride exists
You: you were only deaming
You: or drunk
Stranger: nope
Stranger: how do you call it
Stranger: natrium
Stranger: white pouderish 
You: Fun
Stranger: its really sour
Stranger: like REALLY sour
You: this isn't helping me
Stranger: i know sorry
Stranger: bye?
You: nor is it helping you
You: no, I need to know whether you're still up for tonight's plans
Stranger: yeh sure
You: Woohoooooo
Stranger: ;D
You: This is going to be the best hen's night ever
Stranger: lol
You: Don't be modest
You: You're very good
Stranger: x blushes x
You: So how long can you hold your breath underwater?
Stranger: idk 
You: Well we need figures, or else it's going to be very hard to get you into Atlanti
You: *Atlantis
Stranger: hm
Stranger: cant i go scooba?
Stranger: * diving with tanks *
Stranger: cant prenounce
You: You mean SCUBA?
Stranger: yeh
You: yeah, I suppose, but it's not the same
Stranger: oh well
You: I mean, no offense, but oxygen tanks were very last century
You: The lastest craze now is those very slim nitrogen dioxide tanks
Stranger: oh well
You: they are the latest rage
Stranger: ur the chemistry expert i believe :P
You: you need to make a good impression when you're down there!
You: No point going if you're not dressed well
Stranger: x changes into tux x
Stranger: drysuit tux 
You: that's somewhat better
Stranger: cool
You: we're still going to have to do soething about face, but let's leave that for later
You: Now, do you know the address?
Stranger: shit! i forgot
Stranger: i have it somewhere 
Stranger: in my pockets?
Stranger: nooo i lost it
You: I told you you should have it tatooed on your chest
You: but it's no big deal, 
You: 5th street, South Atlantis
You: Right between the Giant Banana and where the giant squid is now
You: can you see it?
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: i have it tattooed on my chest !!
Stranger: but is upside down when im trying to see
You: yeah, well the giant squid is now heading towards towards the yellow submarine, so you'll have to scratch that
You: well that's a start
You: maybe once you get that face of yours sorted out, you should be able to see it in the correct orientation
Stranger: hm okay
You: If yo do get lost though, make sure to ask the moray eel beside the giant rock
Stranger: rock
Stranger: got it
You: but you have to give him a 3 yellow fijuts and stroke his head counterclockwise 5 times before he will answer your question
You: if you do it the other way he will bite off your legs and gie you an icecream
You: and you wouldn;t want that would you
You: ?
You: I hope that's not too much
You: I shall see you tonight
Stranger: okay
You: Blarghahargle!
Stranger: cya tonight
You have disconnected.

[Edminster]

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: baaa
You: BLARGHAHARGLE!
Stranger: blarghahargle ftw, then
You: Really?
Stranger: (i knew i shouldnt have chosen a sheep)
You: I'm so touched.
Stranger: Oh, it was nothing.
You: Really, I must thank everyone who has made this possible for me.
You: Mom, for giving birth to me.
Stranger: By all means!
You: Dad, for beating me while screaming 'BLARGHAHARGLE' so that it would stay with me forever.
Stranger: It brings a tear to my eye...(doubtless brought more than one to yours)
You: And the Park County police department, for shooting him down when he got trapped in that hot air balloon three weeks ago.
You: I don't know why they had SAMs, but I am glad they did.
Stranger: What a dramatic life you have had, my anonymous comrade!
Stranger: Will the excitement never end?
You: Anyway, as a memorial for my departed father, I have been trying to use BLARGHAHARGLE in place of 'Hello' for the rest of my life, with the exception being made only for explanation of my intentions.
You: Would you help spread it alongside me?
Stranger: A noble cause, indeed. It would be my greatest pleasure, nay, honour.
You: My thanks, noble stranger.
Stranger: BLARGHAHARGLE
You: BLARGHAHARGLE right back at ya.
Stranger: I think we're onto something.
You: Now go! Spread the Word! Get as many people as you can to join in!
Stranger: It shall be so.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[LordRetard]

All right, I'll push for it simply because it's so awesome.

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Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: BLARGHAHARGLE!
Stranger: ?
You: You heard what I said.
Stranger: i did
Stranger: and y u say it?
You: That's what one says at the beginning of a conversation.
Stranger: not rlly lol
You: I mean, why'd you say "hey"?
Stranger: cause its a greeting
You: Doesn't "blarghahargle" make more sense?
Stranger: not rlly
You: It's a greeting where I come from.
Stranger: no it isnt
You: You say that with awful certainty.
Stranger: cause its not a greeting from newhere
You: You can't prove that.
Stranger: u cant prove it is
You: Yes I can. I used it, didn't I?
Stranger: so?
Stranger: dont prove nothin
You: That makes it a greeting.
Stranger: not rlly
You: All my friends and family use it, too.
Stranger: sureeee
You: I don't understand your confusion here.
Stranger: >.>
You: Anyway, you should understand that in some places, "blarghahargle" is a perfectly acceptable greeting.
Stranger: w.e
Stranger: its not
You: Your problem is that you have an eurocentric view of the world.
Stranger: i do not
You: You deny it only because you can't see it, it's such a part of you.
Stranger: ............
You: So, we're in agreement then.
Stranger: no
You: Well, I can't explain it any better than that.
Stranger: >.<
Stranger: well BLAH
You: "Blah" already? But we hardly know each other, that's very informal.
Stranger: ur rlly annoyin
You: Well, blah to you too. =)
You: You can leave at any time if I so offend you.
Stranger: asshole
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I can't imagine why anyone would be so offended by something so innocuous. I found that most surprising of all. Maybe people are just insane.

[smiley_cow]

LR your last conversation partner seemed very angry, I wonder if he had been having a bad day or something.

On a completely different note, 'an eurocentric' seems wrong to me somehow. I mean, I know logically that it should be an because eurocentric starts with an e, but for some reason 'a eurocentric' seems better to me. I think it may be because eurocentric starts with the same noise a y makes when it's a consonant. Anyways, you're the language expert and the only reason I'm even going on about this is because I'm sick of studying and I don't want to go back to it, so I thought I'd share.

[Oldrac the Chitinous]

I freely admit to having a neurocentric view of the world, but that's not really what's at issue here.

[Edminster]

Really? Because I have a Nerocentric worldview.

[LordRetard]

It just so happens that I know exactly what you're talking about!

It actually relies on a difference in dialects. English is very prone to a phenomenon called "yod-dropping". The technical explanation would be something like /j/ is deleted in onset syllable position. Basically, any time you have a "y-sound", that is the semi-consonant sound of the letter y, if it's at the beginning of the word or the beginning of a syllable, it may sometimes be dropped. As far as I know, it's a little inconsistent and doesn't always apply, but my Toronto dialect does drop in that case, I believe.
/ˌyʊərəˈsɛntrɪk, ˌyɜr-/ (taken from dictionary.reference.com; not how I was taught to transcribe or how I would transcribe it but it's good enough)
So some people might drop the y and say /ərəˈsɛntrɪk/. And according to English rules, since it's not preceded by a glide, you'd say "an". Pretty long explanation for something so boring, ya?

In dialects with extensive yod-dropping, mute/moot and cute/coot become homophonous pairs. In North American dialects, however, the process isn't fully complete and you can hear people saying both "an eurocentric" and "a eurocentric".

Now, there are some language purists who believe that you should always start with "an" before a vowel or an "h", even in speech and regardless of what sound precedes it. They are wrong.

[mountainmage]

When would we put "an" before the letter h? I can't think of any examples.

[LordRetard]

Hour.

Plus a lot of dialects have fully full-on /h/ deletion.

[mountainmage]

Ah, true. So "an" would be in front of silent h's?

[smiley_cow]

I've noticed that if you ever read novels from Victorian times England there's a lot of an + h-words happening. I've noticed it both with Jane Austin and Charles Dickens.

[Edminster]

That's because it's pronounced 'ippopotamous'.

[mountainmage]

If you're a cockney, then that's pretty much true.

[LordRetard]

In speech you'd definitely hear most English speakers saying "an hour" or what have you, so that's typically what most people would write; in most people's writing and in what is generally considered standard, the use of the indefinite article is dictated by how that speaker would say the word.

One word that's inconsistent is "historic". Lots of people say and write "a historic" or "an historic".