Weird Text Files

[Rainbow]

That. is cool. Write the rest, you should.

[FengharTheNord]

That. is cool. Write the rest, you should.

Get back to the swamp, yoda.

AND AHH WTF YOU ALMOST HAVE AS MANY POSTS AS ME.

STOP TALKING SO MUCH ARGHH

[mountainmage]

Or perhaps...you should talk more? Without resorting to ++, of course.

[Rainbow]

I'm only posting here for ++.

[LordRetard]

So, apparently I wrote this just before I passed out last night. And by 'wrote' I mean literally with pen and paper and everything.

What's so strange about that? I still write with pen and paper when I don't want to go to bother with my computer, or if I'm not at home.

[Edminster]

So, apparently I wrote this just before I passed out last night. And by 'wrote' I mean literally with pen and paper and everything.

What's so strange about that? I still write with pen and paper when I don't want to go to bother with my computer, or if I'm not at home.

Well, I figured this was worth mentioning as it is not a text file, but a dead-tree edition. Also, it took me far too long to remember why I mentioned it in the first place.

[LordRetard]

Oh, right. The name of the thread. I had forgotten what we were discussing.

[Edminster]

So had I, which is why it took me four hours to remember why I mentioned it. The realisation finally came to me as I was doodling in my notebook*. Anyway, here's another couple of files that were on my new laptop (not the old one that I miss so terribly).

Freud is actually a powerful ghost now. Which is why we have things called "Freudian Slips"

It is not actually a subconscious desire on our part, it is in fact the ghost of Freud manipulating our vocal chords and fingers (in the case of typing).

Which leads to the inevitable conclusion that Freud just needs to move on to the afterlife rather than stay here messing with people all over the world simply to keep his name in circulation.

Yeah, Freud is a dick.

Does the world need superheroes?

Will you quit babbling and pick up your end of this thing?

In a minute, I'm going somewhere with this.

No. No minutes. We are doing this now, or not at all. I am tired of this conversation.

What conversation? I'm just asking a simple question, man.

Pip, it's always a simple question with you. We've been working together going on three months, and I have yet to hear an instance of you opening that annoying mouth without spouting off some half-baked pseudo-philosophical idea that should never have seen the light of day, or even worse some retarded-ass question about why things are the way things are.

All I'm tryin' to say is that-

Shut up! We have a job to do, and we're doing it now. Save that metaphorical bullcrap until after we get this done, alright?

Jeez, alright.

*pauses while helping lug a large duffel bag into the rear of a nondescript van, then shuts the doors after it has been loaded. They both enter the van in an uncomfortable silence. Dave starts the van, Pip buckles himself in, looking pensive. After about three minutes of silence*

I mean, seriously. What kind of wo-

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

but i ju-

Goddamn it! I am sick and tired of this shit! I've tried being nice, Pip, I really have. But you just come up with the stupidest goddamn thoughts. If we didn't have a job to do, I'd fucking run this van off into a tree. So, unless what you were about to say directly pertains to what we are doing right fucking now, I swear to you, on my life, that I will kill you in the most painful way that I can possibly figure out. And I've got a pretty good imagination, Torquemada ain't got shit on me when it comes to thinking up unpleasantness. Understand?

*Pip sheepishly nods, Dave takes a nice, calming breath. Then another. Then says*

Shit. I'm sorry, Pip. I didn't mean to blow up at ya. It's just been really stressful, you know? The Holiday seasons just starting, and I got bills to pay and mouths to feed. Hell, most of that yelling wasn't directed at you anyway. I just needed an excuse to let off steam, ya know?

*Pip, in a small, very hurt voice says*

Did... did you really mean all those things you said about me? 'Cuz I can work on tr

*Dave, interrupting*

No, Pip, you're fine. Like I said, it's been stressful at home, lately.

*more silence, distinctly uncomfortable*

*I guess that's what the kids call it these days.

[Kimra]

Wow I'm having fun going through the random little text files (leaving the big ones alone). I have files called 'fred' and 'fredzzz' and 'thing' and 'blah' (blah is most common). So far my favourite is:

Your boyfriend offered to lend me porn.

Yes that's the entire text file.

Food is of the essence…

Indeed.

It was the time for turning seasons. When blood was met with blood.

WTF?

And that's enough of that. I could post larger text files (all of one paragraph sized ones) but I think my girly romance / fantasy style would only be embarrassing and scary (besides I'm trying to be incognito so that if I make it to the next round Amhet has nothing to work with).

[LordRetard]

From my notebook:

-The last day -2 words, or only 1

This pisses me off because I can sort of remember actually writing this, but I can't really grip it and remember what it's supposed to mean. I remember it was pretty cool.

[Edminster]

I've only got two new text files on my computer. One of them is the script for the educational film (I SWEAR I'M WORKING ON IT) and the other is a couple of quotes from Something Awful's E/N subforum.

I recently moved back to Florida from Texas (thank god). That, however, is not my question.
I'm on the verge of getting my license and I was just wondering, would it be wiser to get a job before I get a car or vice versa?
Because getting a job entails driving to said job to work.
But getting a car involves money that you would recieve from having a job.
I've got 200 bucks, roughly.

Treat your life like a RPG. Start out by buying a skateboard, then use the skateboard to get odd jobs local to your home. After that, buy a bicycle and get some more permanent employment. Once you save up enough money, get a shitty car. At this point, you should also have at least a few basic weapons, such as a tire iron, a few frag grenades, and a pistol. You should use the car to explore around and gain experience. Don't travel too far, because random encounters close to home will be easier. After a handful of encounters, you'll have enough money to afford an SMG and better melee weapon, such as a machete. Put your experience into small arms and repair skills for now.

Speaking of repair, try to keep your car and SMG repaired at least to 25% with each trip back into town. Since your barter skills won't be very good, you should stockpile any goods that appear to only be fetching a fraction of their value.

Keep doing random encounters until you've leveled up a few times and can buy at least 20 fights worth of ammo. Then, you should seek out some quests and better job opportunities. You'll probably have an early companion as well, such as a childhood friend or an stuck-up former princess. Good jobs to get at low levels are ones that involve simple deliveries. These will essentially pay you to explore your map. At some point in one of these seemingly-minor questions, the greater purpose of your life will be revealed, often in subtle ways. For example, you might be given a task to take a shipment of vegetables to a neighboring town. When you get there, you might find that the town is on fire and has been destroyed. This is probably not coincidence.

Now, since you are concerned with transportation and employment, I should tell you that not once have I felt the need in an RPG to pay rent or buy a home. These are merely novelties, as there are plenty of places to sleep. There are also plenty of job opportunities for the taking. You'll likely reach some level where you find that you start skipping minor cash opportunities, such as stealing junk from NPC houses and scavenging ruins. What is well worth money, however, is anything that improves your travel situation or your weapons. Selling your entry-level car and using your saved gold to buy an off-road vehicle is usually a good tactical move, as the off-road vehicle will probably enable you certain opportunities that will more than recover the cost of the vehicle. This is especially true when you buy a ship for the first time. On that note, an airship is of such value that I suggest selling all unnecessary equipment and vehicles to afford one at the first opportunity.

That said, always pay attention to the condition meters on your equipment and vehicles. Pay NPCs for repairs until your repair skills are equivalent. Not only is it exceedingly frustrating to have a gun hit zero conditioning and break right in the middle of battle, but broken items usually have no trade-in value.

OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!"
OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."

[Apocalyptus]

I haven't got anything too weird for some reason - mostly recipes and lists of stuff. I do have this one of sorta odd lyrics though:

My brother finds comfort in calculators.
He assigns every number a name.
He believes that they add up to certainty
And he is upset with fractions that remain.
So I examine the maps with my eyes
And at best I can trace with my finger all the way
To that town where she went
In an attempt to forget the cracks
And the lines of my face.

So Jetsabel cleaned out the closets for me
And she piled the boxes in the hall.
Tomorrow when she wakes
She’ll come and take them away
And they will never haunt me again.

But it is still hard
To sleep with the moon's heavy beams.
I run barefoot to the backyard,
Just to freeze in my place
By the rod iron gate,
Too ashamed and afraid to advance.



Today I walked through the snow
And found a field of headstones.
They were in rows like the weeks on calendars
Where each box is a day
That you can't ever escape
Without pills for the poisonous sleep.

These memories leak
From these faucets that weep.
Hot tears splash against the shower floor
And I stand in the steam
As if inside a dream

I can see her again by the sink
From behind the bathroom mirror
She pulls a thermometer
And placed it underneath my tongue.

She said “you are as pale as a sheet,
You look awful my sweet
Lay down and wait for the sun.”
So I stayed in that bed.
She brought me water and read
Each night from a volume out loud.
She whispered soft poetry.
Her favourite was Anabel Lee.
And those words,
Like these drugs comforted me.
But the clocks kept waving their hands
And she could not understand
Why my temperature would never drop.
And although she promised with tears
That she would always be here
I heard truth like the sounding sea.

I said, “My Arienette,
Oh how soon you’ll forget
This house will never be your home.
And you will leave in the fall
When the trees become graves
And their colours lie dead in the grass.”

Gold and green torture me
Like the lies I believe too easily.

Oh my Jetsabel,
Look at this hell that I have made.
If you want maybe drop by sometime
Put some flowers on my grave.
So that I will look beautiful
In my silent sepulchre.
Yeah that’s fine
Give those dresses away
I don’t want anything of hers.

For the moon never shines
And the stars never rise
Without bringing me dreams.
Haunted by the ghosts
Of those bright eyes.

And this collection of odd random stuff. From when I took Neopets kinda seriously. (The shame)

Your body's gone but ·$30Angel·$ you will live

___
{o,o}
|)__)
-"-"-
O RLY?

___
{o.o}
|)_(|
-"-"-
YA RLY

___
{o,o}
(__(|
-"-"-
NO WAI!

......oooO...............
.....(...).....Oooo.....
......)./......(...)....
.....(_/........)./.....
...............(_/.......

(\ /)
(O.o)
(> <)
/_|_\

╔╗╔╦══╦╗╔╦══╦╦╦╗
║╚╝║╔╗║╚╝║╔╗║║║║
║╔╗║╠╣║╔╗║╠╣╠╬╬╣
╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╩╩╝

╔╗╔═╦╗
║╚╣║║╚╗
╚═╩═╩═╝

JubJubs Day
Pteri Games
Little Wings Big Feet
Radio Active Pteri Part 1
The Art Of Cybunnies
A Buzz Life
Oopsy Daisy
Krawk Fighting Techniques
Whiplash
Acaras in History
The Magic Paw
Baby Moehog Stories

[Snarky00]

All my weird text docs are on my old computer. I really need to get around to transferring my files.

[LordRetard]

I like e/n, it makes me feel less dumb and pathetic.

[Kimra]

Thats some might fine depressing poetry Apocalyptus. (I hate your name, you need an abbreviation so I don't have to think about spelling every time I write it)