Cirtur and Edminster

Everything else.

Moderator: GreenCrayon

Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Dr Statham » Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:58 pm

Come into my office. Here, have a seat on the couch. Now tell me how your relationship is going.

Ed, may I call you that? Ed, you start.
Dr Statham
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:37 pm

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Euclidthegreek » Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:51 am

I think it's going great!
Edminster wrote:I'm starting to think Euclid lives in the past.
User avatar
Euclidthegreek
Fisty McGee
 
Posts: 1879
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:06 pm
Location: The Mathiverse

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Kimra » Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:00 am

I like that we're all gonna get to watch:

Marriage Counseling; the new battlefield
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Edminster » Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:15 am

The relationship started as most do; some coy flirting, some drinks, the introduction of γ-Hydroxybutyric acid into the aforementioned drinks, and a night that neither party remembers. We met in the south of France after the second World War. I was posing as a returning Bomber pilot, and he was pretending to be a simple milkmaid from Dordogne. I suppose a relationship based on such deception is bound to have issues like we are currently undergoing, but we were young and naive. Neither of us believed that the other was anything less than perfect.

The years flew by as they are wont to do, and we traveled the world in search of adventure and novelty. We normally spent summers in the northern hemisphere (usually in Amsterdam, although we were known to occasionally explore the catacombs that lurk beneath the streets of Paris), whereas we found safe harbours in the southern portion of the world during the winter. Oh, I remember battling the Cavy Empire in Ecuador like it was yesterday, despite the fact that we last visited over a decade ago. Some days I miss packing whatever we needed to survive and testing our abilities in such exotic locales, but I understand that we are getting on in years and such undertakings are now much more likely to end in our deaths.

I readily admit that our marriage has suffered some turbulence before, but nothing of this magnitude. No, our spats were normally inconsequential, of the sort one sees when two polite gentleman fuss over who holds the door for whom. Before these past few days, the most significant disagreement was over whether jam was the superior topping for a bit of hardtack or if in fact jelly was the correct choice. We ended up agreeing that both of us were entitled to our opinions, and that hardtack is really not all that good anyway regardless of topping. I think that may be why this threat of dissolving our matrimonial bonds has struck me as if it were a pelota slung by a professional jai alai player.

Earlier this year we decided that we were well-enough established in the world that we could undertake the phenomenal task of adopting and raising a child, as we are both unable to bear children without radical surgery and hormone regulation. After much deliberation, we opted not to adopt an infant or toddler, but rather a troubled young man by the name of HARDKORE. We have tried to raise him in the manner that seemed the most likely to instill a proper worldview into the rebellious child. While I do admit that we were rather lenient with him at first, we have learned to be more strict when he acts out. As yet he is still in that awkward stage between boy and Man, but we have high hopes that he shall overcome this obstacle in due course and become a respected member of society.

That's about it, as far as how our relationship has gone over the years. As I mentioned before, this announcement of his intentions to divorce me comes as an utter surprise. Perhaps I have missed something terribly important? I do not know, and this is why I suggested that we undergo relationship counselling rather than destroy our marriage outright. Please, Dr. Statham, help us. I truly do not want to lose him, but I fear that his heart has hardened against me and that there is no hope.

References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma-Hydroxybutyric_acid
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dordogne
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catacombs_of_Paris
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinea_pig
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jai_alai
http://i38.tinypic.com/rvbj34.jpg


576 words, only 1091 more to go today
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8849
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Sahan » Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:03 am

Wait, you adopted HARDKORE on my birthday! Thanks for detracting the importance of my special day by arbitrarily deciding to share it with your new son.
Destructicus wrote:Alt text:
"I wonder if chemists feel bad that they're always left out of these sorts of jokes."

Since when is chemistry not a science?
User avatar
Sahan
"I promise you no penis jokes."
 
Posts: 4367
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:20 am
Location: Perth, Australia

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Edminster » Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:05 am

Actually that's one of several clerical errors on that form. That's one of the reasons that I don't want this to go to court; it may be decided that we never adopted him in the first place.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8849
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Cirtur » Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:49 am

The only reason we're doing this is for HARDKORE.
User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
 
Posts: 9996
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Kimra » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:20 am

Yet he says nothing! Ungrateful child.
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: Cirtur and Edminster

Postby Cirtur » Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:34 pm

We're trying to help him grow.
User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
 
Posts: 9996
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe


Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest