Our Final Goodbyes

[Cirtur]

But then why would he speak in early modern English?

[LordRetard]

Clearly he was reincarnated as a vampire.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SEVENTEEN... a while.

[Cirtur]

statutory RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPEEEEEEEE

[mountainmage]

Finally, my funeral gets interesting.

[Cirtur]

Your funeral was always interesting. And when you die in real life too, we'll make it good.

You're going to have to put air-fare into your will.

[mountainmage]

Hell, if I could I would. It'd be funny for my friends and relatives.

"How did you know the deceased?"
"Yeah, we were both on the same online forum. Flew in from England just to be here."

[Cirtur]

"But as Prime Minister/King, don't you have more important duties?"

"None more important than this brave Jew."

[mountainmage]

I wonder what an Atheist funeral is like?

"Yeah, you all loved this guy and now he's gonna go back to nature. And by that, I mean bugs are going to eat his rotting flesh and plants are going to grow out of him."

[Cirtur]

He's gone now and you just have to accept that. What you love is dead and will not be coming back, swallowed by eternal darkness.

It's like he's gone to New Jersey.

[mountainmage]

And then everyone will go:

"All hail Athe, all hail Athe!"

[Cirtur]

And then Athe comes alive and we all have a rave.

The rave is to make people miserable so they're feeling how they should at a funeral.

[Lethal Interjection]

I thought an atheist funeral was just throwing the body into a ditch and walking off. Like I do with hookers.

Actually, Hugh Everett (one of the fathers of Parallel Universe theory) actually told his wife to have him cremated and then just throw his ashes in the trash. I mean, as if there isn't some sentimental attachment even to the dust that was once your husband. She held on to them for a few years, but eventually granted his request.

[mountainmage]

Ha, that's rich. I'd at least say to use mine in a compost heap or something.

[Euclidthegreek]

Isn't it weird that an ancient Greek only speaks in mock early modern English?

Doth mine eyes perceiveth yet another irksome speech pattern?

But then why would he speak in early modern English?

Mayhap I understand English from the Bard.

[Kimra]

I'm all for the ash-anating, sounds much more appealing than being eaten by bugs. But I reckon off a cliff into the ocean (dear gods people make sure the wind is blowing the right direction first!) is the best way to go. You put someone on the compost and forever I'll wonder if I"m eating them.