Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Everything else.

Moderator: GreenCrayon

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby davoid » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:07 am

Cirtur wrote:I feel for you bro. I would hug you if my limbs weren't made of chronessence.


Feh. Count yourself lucky you could get chronessence. When I got a griprot infection in my left hand during my deployment in Allanarch, they just amputated it and left me with the stump. The sickest part is, I heard rumors they would go out every week with all the amputated body parts and dead bodies, and leave them out there in the marshwoods, to keep the Maggotbirds from snooping around our camp.
All the cool kids are reading http://www.hitmanpiranha.com and http://www.ss-comic.com!
User avatar
davoid
 
Posts: 117
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:30 am

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Apocalyptus » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:15 am

Well I saw some blue individual called Cardlo wandering around, mumbling about 'neutralising time and space' and 'unifying opposites'. He asked me the same question.
But I guess that's neither here nor there.
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."
User avatar
Apocalyptus
Not what you were expecting
 
Posts: 5301
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:00 pm
Location: Melbourne

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Edminster » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:26 am

davoid wrote:Feh. Count yourself lucky you could get chronessence. When I got a griprot infection in my left hand during my deployment in Allanarch, they just amputated it and left me with the stump. The sickest part is, I heard rumors they would go out every week with all the amputated body parts and dead bodies, and leave them out there in the marshwoods, to keep the Maggotbirds from snooping around our camp.

Holy shit, you were at Allanarch? Are the rumours about Commissar Hayabushi true? Because I heard he once decapitated a man with a karate chop to the throat, and while normally I don't question NeoPravda (which is a fantastic newsfeed everyone should subscribe to), that just seems a little over-the-top to me.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud
User avatar
Edminster
Tested positive for Space-AIDS
 
Posts: 8849
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Internet

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Barack Obama » Wed Feb 03, 2010 6:38 am

Edminster wrote:Holy shit, you were at Allanarch? Are the rumours about Commissar Hayabushi true? Because I heard he once decapitated a man with a karate chop to the throat, and while normally I don't question NeoPravda (which is a fantastic newsfeed everyone should subscribe to), that just seems a little over-the-top to me.

Thanks, you've been reported to the High Commisariat Arbitration Committee. Have fun in -23000 Official Anchorage Time building the pyramids.
User avatar
Barack Obama
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2009 6:32 am
Location: White House, America

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Kimra » Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:04 pm

They told us we could never go home. They promised it. Now they hang it over our heads like an infested Ricser limb.

Well I’m done.

You all think the wars over, because that’s what they want you to think. But the Renegades are still out there, and the Shifters have changed-

*transmission interrupted*
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Merrick » Wed Feb 03, 2010 2:39 pm

I fought Chuck Norris on the Empire State Building in 1973 and lived.
Edminster wrote:I heard that if you collect Merrick's sweat and use it to bathe in, you will become irresistible to women. At least, up until they figure out you're not Merrick.


LordRetard wrote:They say that Merrick has died and been reborn dozens of times.
User avatar
Merrick
 
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:37 pm

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby LordRetard » Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:15 pm

Is it Groundhog Day again??
User avatar
LordRetard
The Most Retardedest
 
Posts: 9999
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:44 pm
Location: My Parents' Basement

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Lethal Interjection » Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:24 pm

Merrick wrote:I fought Chuck Norris on the Empire State Building in 1973 and lived.


Alas, my search for a time/space where Norris is undeified continues to be fruitless.
User avatar
Lethal Interjection
Death by Elocution
 
Posts: 8059
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: Behind your ear. It's magic!

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Cirtur » Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:09 pm

I saw one through the mouth of an Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I didn't think the eternity of pain was worth the lack of chuck norris jokes.
User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
 
Posts: 9996
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Kimra » Wed Feb 03, 2010 11:09 pm

LordRetard wrote:Is it Groundhog Day again??

It's always Ground Hog day. That movie? It was a documentary. I saw them editing it.

The end? It was a lie.

His just one of their first experiments.
King Prawn
User avatar
Kimra
He-Man in a Miniskirt
 
Posts: 6872
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:18 am
Location: meanwhile elsewhere

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby davoid » Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:13 am

Kimra wrote:
LordRetard wrote:Is it Groundhog Day again??

It's always Ground Hog day. That movie? It was a documentary. I saw them editing it.

The end? It was a lie.

His just one of their first experiments.


I had a buddy who signed up to be one of their test subjects back when the program was first starting. It was amazing. I went with him down to the facility, and when I saw him the next morning he could speak twelve languages fluently, including Flaxian. The trouble was, he killed himself by week's end. He said he had already lived longer than anyone should have to. Nowadays, before they release a subject, they give 'em a month's worth of anti-depressants and a lifetime prescription for more.
All the cool kids are reading http://www.hitmanpiranha.com and http://www.ss-comic.com!
User avatar
davoid
 
Posts: 117
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:30 am

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby LordRetard » Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:05 am

davoid wrote:Nowadays, before they release a subject, they give 'em a month's worth of anti-depressants and a lifetime prescription for more.

That is such bullshit. They say that the anti-depressants are to lower the risk of post-experimental depression. In reality it's part of their "clean-up"; that is, if a subject doesn't end up offing themselves, the placebo pills that they use are laced with enough lead to cause lethal toxic encephalopathy within a couple of weeks*. This is because by the end of the program, a subject has accumulated so much confidential information as to render the current Commisariat entirely useless. I was lucky enough to discover that in the 32 years I spent in training earlier this month, and have so far evaded capture.

*Johnson et al., 2053
User avatar
LordRetard
The Most Retardedest
 
Posts: 9999
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:44 pm
Location: My Parents' Basement

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Sahan » Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:32 am

I don't even remember why I was fighting this war or whose side I'm on. They kept wiping our memories after every battle, say it's to preserve our sanity, then they teach us everything that we were supposed to know from scratch. All I know is that I'm supposed to be fighting for the good of humanity. I was supposed to report back after our last skirmish, but something happened. We were ambushed, scattered, I hid in the relative safety of the junklands. Enemy territory, but at least it would be harder to find me.

I was keeping my eyes peeled and backing away from where I heard the enemy soldiers were approaching, when I bumped into one of them. I turned to see him. It was me, I swear to God it was me. Just staring at me like I was staring at him, the only difference between us was that he was wearing the enemy uniform. I freaked the hell out and just ran. He didn't even bother to shoot, he must have been too scared or too stunned to pull the trigger. I think I see now why they want to wipe our memories, but I'm not going back. I've been on the run ever since, and I'm not going back.
Destructicus wrote:Alt text:
"I wonder if chemists feel bad that they're always left out of these sorts of jokes."

Since when is chemistry not a science?
User avatar
Sahan
"I promise you no penis jokes."
 
Posts: 4367
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:20 am
Location: Perth, Australia

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Oldrac the Chitinous » Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:45 pm

LordRetard wrote:I think I've seen a dozen alternate LordRetards so far. Of course, it's impossible to know for sure since they started using the images.

Man, those things are freaky. I can't fathom why they'd go to that much trouble to make 'em, either. It's not like they need spies when they've got the Omnipresenter. Only guess I have is that they wanted replacements for people they disappeared, but there are certainly easier (and less expensive!) ways of doing that.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
User avatar
Oldrac the Chitinous
Chicken O' the Sea
 
Posts: 3489
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:41 pm
Location: The Perfect Stillness of the Deep

Re: Chronodimensional War Veterans and Victims ONLY

Postby Lethal Interjection » Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:21 pm

Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:
LordRetard wrote:I think I've seen a dozen alternate LordRetards so far. Of course, it's impossible to know for sure since they started using the images.

Man, those things are freaky. I can't fathom why they'd go to that much trouble to make 'em, either. It's not like they need spies when they've got the Omnipresenter. Only guess I have is that they wanted replacements for people they disappeared, but there are certainly easier (and less expensive!) ways of doing that.


I saw the Omnipresenter give a speech back in 1492. It was still going in 3079. Or at least I assume it was. I stepped out for 8356 years.
User avatar
Lethal Interjection
Death by Elocution
 
Posts: 8059
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:17 pm
Location: Behind your ear. It's magic!

PreviousNext

Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest