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Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:26 pm
by ruotwocone
Alright. So my wife has been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer that's spread to her lungs and liver. It's bad. Like she probably won't make it bad (although we're still optimistic. She's younger than most colon cancer patients -28 years old- and she's tough as nails so there's that). To add to the suckiness, we have an 11 month old daughter at home who may never really know her momma. On the plus side, we've had awesome support from friends and family, and that has made a HUGE difference.

Anyway, this is what I need you guys for. This forum is full of the miscreants of society. If anyone can come up with some awesome cancer jokes it's you guys. So get to work! Your official unofficial new new old mayor of The Outlands commands it!

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:58 pm
by Edminster
From the first page of google results, here are the few I found funny:


What's the difference between a skinhead and a cancer victim?
The skinhead's not going to die from a horrible, incurable disease.


What's the difference between a cancer victim and someone with AIDS?
You won't get sick from shagging a cancer victim.


How many cancer victims does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they're too weak to climb the ladder.


Why did the cancer victim cross the road?
She was hoping to get hit by a truck


As an aside, if she gets a partial colonectomy you're contractually obligated to call her ; as much as possible.

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:29 pm
by GUTCHUCKER
What did the blind, limbless orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:56 am
by DonRetrasado
Here are a couple of classics from the SMBC archive:
Image
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PS. I've discovered an algorithm for finding every funny SMBC comic. God bless.
Edminster wrote:What's the difference between a cancer victim and someone with AIDS?
You won't get sick from shagging a cancer victim.

Learn something new every day.

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:55 pm
by carbonstealer
Although not necessarily true. Some cancers can be triggered by viruses such as HPV.

I have no jokes about cancer, but I can quote JD "if that tumour gets any bigger, its going to be a threemour"

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:59 pm
by ruotwocone
Edminster wrote:What's the difference between a skinhead and a cancer victim?
The skinhead's not going to die from a horrible, incurable disease.

this

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:22 pm
by Felstaff
"Knock! Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"The Interrupting Doctor"
"The Inter--"
"you've got cancer"

Re: Cancer Jokes

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:28 am
by zomgmouse
Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Getting cancer.