Surefire business plans

[Sprinkles]

*After I figure out how to counter the inflation problems.

There's no inflation problem for you.

[Kimra]

Why not aim for something more expensive like platinum? It's way cooler anyway.

[Kaharz]

I'm going to extract gold from sea water. Unlike those who have come before me, I have found a fast and economically feasible method to do so. I just need some investors to help with the start up funds. A mere $50,000 USD gets you a 10% share of the gross. Any takers?

[Sprinkles]

Alright, I spent this week's unemployment benefit entirely on home beer making equipment and ingredients.

I will keep you updated all the way from when it arrives to when I die of yeast poisoning.

[DonRetrasado]

My brother started home-brewing recently and brought some over, it was really good actually.

[Kimra]

My brother started home-brewing recently and brought some over, it was really good actually.

Sprinkles is not your brother, and it's quite possible there is a curse on his family so he's destined to follow his father to the grave soon.

[Oldrac the Chitinous]

Did you know that giraffes are listed as "least concern" for conservation?

Sounds to me like it's time to open a giraffe ranch!
Depending how keen on the idea the giraffes are, I can either have giraffe rides or giraffe rodeos (girrodeos).
I figure I'll open it near vegas, 'cause 1. it's hot, 2. they already have the infrastructure for bringing in trees that have no business being there, and 3. there's no place else where you'll find as many people willing to spend phenomenal amounts of money on phenomenally ridiculous ideas.

ADDENDUM: Looks like there's already one of these in Florida. Far as I can tell, they don't do rodeos, though!

[smiley_cow]

Did you know that giraffes are listed as "least concern" for conservation?

Sounds to me like it's time to open a giraffe ranch!
Depending how keen on the idea the giraffes are, I can either have giraffe rides or giraffe rodeos (girrodeos).
I figure I'll open it near vegas, 'cause 1. it's hot, 2. they already have the infrastructure for bringing in trees that have no business being there, and 3. there's no place else where you'll find as many people willing to spend phenomenal amounts of money on phenomenally ridiculous ideas.

ADDENDUM: Looks like there's already one of these in Florida. Far as I can tell, they don't do rodeos, though!

For a minute there I thought I was reading the Ultimate Top Trumps thread and thought 'this should win'.

Fun fact: I got licked by a giraffe once. They have weird coloured tongues.

[Sandwiches]

2. they already have the infrastructure for bringing in trees that have no business being there

Is no one else worried that Oldrac thinks giraffes are a type of tree?

[Kaharz]

I once worked on the construction of a "giraffe feeding enclosure" for a zoo. I would like to offer my services my as a consultant.

I didn't actually see any giraffes, but I did hear a noise behind me at one point and turned around to see a leopard staring at me through the chain link fence. I wondered why there was a line painted on the ground and a sign that said "Do not stand behind this line."

[Lethal Interjection]

Interesting fact: Giraffes are kosher.

[Kimra]

Fun fact: I got licked by a giraffe once. They have weird coloured tongues.

Fun fact: I once got bit by a donkey. I punched it back.

[smiley_cow]

Alas, I did not lick back the giraffe. I was afraid it might look weird.

[Sandwiches]

Wouldn't you only be licking it's side as well? I have not met you but I can't think you are over 2m tall.

[GUTCHUCKER]

I am over 2 meters tall, myself.
And a giraffe!
Would I lie to you?