Optimus vs Samus

TwoBuy · Post by **TwoBuy** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:19 pm

Gunna have to agree with we_are on this one. Most my first dates start with "You're beautiful" followed by "Shut UP you eff-in whore!" followed by smooching.

Of course the shut-up part is after they tell you Samus could beat Optimus Prime in a fight. There is NO freakin way; Samus is a chick. End of story.

TheyMightBeJason · Post by **TheyMightBeJason** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 4:27 am

But... Optimus Prime can be beaten... Samus can only be beaten by parasites, and even then, only temporarily.

GreenCrayon · Post by **GreenCrayon** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:39 am

TheyMightBeJason wrote:But... Optimus Prime can be beaten... Samus can only be beaten by parasites, and even then, only temporarily.

Discounting Samus' morph-ball adaptability (compared to Optimus Prime's rather limited "convoy" mode), Prime falls due to his prostate weakness, a vulnerability Samus is unlikely to share. So, I'm with TheyMightBeJason.

Jesster · Post by **Jesster** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:44 am

But can Samus check for lumps through that body armour? I think not.

GreenCrayon · Post by **GreenCrayon** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:42 am

Jesster wrote:But can Samus check for lumps through that body armour? I think not.

You just had to bring up the idea of Samus giving herself a body check, didn't you? It's time for a line of smilies that slowly lose their grip on their surroundings:

Jesster · Post by **Jesster** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:50 pm

Hey, I'm merely concerned for her safety and well-being.

TwoBuy · Post by **TwoBuy** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:17 pm

How is there so much discussion on this? Samus=chick=no freakin chance to beat Optimus.

Shut UP you eff-in whores!

And now for the smoochin.

GreenCrayon · Post by **GreenCrayon** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:35 pm

TwoBuy wrote:Shut UP you eff-in whores!

I shall convey my feelings with just one emoticon:

Jesster · Post by **Jesster** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 8:00 pm

Haha, but he's right. Samus'd die, Optimus is awesome.

Unless she buys some Phentermine

(Think that one slipped in nicely?)

we_are_138 · Post by **we_are_138** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 12:49 am

GreenCrayon wrote:
TwoBuy wrote:Shut UP you eff-in whores!
I shall convey my feelings with just one emoticon:

That needs to be added to the emoticon list stat!

Post by **Sheriff Dani** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:58 am

I'm going to stay out of this, but I don't think I could be filled with any more rage right about now. I'm doing everything I can to control myself and not lock/delete this thread. They're your opinions, but I'll be damned if I don't have to like them. Oh well. I guess I have to help protect even the ones I don't like. Man that sucks. Sorry for the interruption. Continue.

TheyMightBeJason · Post by **TheyMightBeJason** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:07 am

Samus may be a girl, but Optimus Prime technically isn't a man! Therefore, her obvious natural vulnerability is moot.
(Hey, we're just kidding, Dani. At least, I am...

)

Post by **Sheriff Dani** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:23 am

I'm actually not so sure I'm offended at the chick thing . . . it's more the Samus thing. Samus rules all. It doesn't matter that she's a chick, she's Samus. She could kick your ass and his ass and my ass. Don't take that away from me, man. I remember finishing that game and dropping my jaw and feeling like I had finally scored a point against all the guys who said games weren't for girls. It was like, "Ha! This badass bounty hunter is a chick! And she rules! So in a way, chicks kind of rule."

TwoBuy · Post by **TwoBuy** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:29 am

Yeah, when I finished that game my first words were "No. Freakin. Way." Followed by a long pause. Followed by "I think this is what love is."

I later came to realize the erotic potential of that ball form, but that was years later.

The problem with the Samus debate is based off the power rankings of the universe, in decending order:

Wesley (can you stop true love?) > Sabin with Genji Glove and Offering > Optimus Prime > Steve Perry > Prof. X > everything else.

Samus is pretty sweet, but you'll notice not a single chick in the top 5, so no chance of beeting Prime. Unless you count a slightly removed Buttercup as insiration, or Sir Steve as a possible gender bender.

GreenCrayon · Post by **GreenCrayon** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:39 am

TwoBuy wrote:Samus is pretty sweet, but you'll notice not a single chick in the top 5, so no chance of beeting Prime.

Look, I have conclusive proof of Samus beating Optimus Prime, and sparing his worthless metal hide, as well. Before this, I looked up to Optimus. I believed in him. But Samus humiliated him so utterly (without ever needing to use a missile) that there can be no mistake... Samus is the better of the two. They're not even in the same league.

And the reason Samus isn't in your top 5? You left her out. Along with Tank Girl.