What's the best horrible movie you've ever seen?

[LordRetard]

It is racist, but at the same time it was trying to subvert racial stereotypes. You have a black person with the police, a black person with the criminals, a black limo driver (who ends up helping the good guys!!). This is intentional; they are saying "look, you can't judge people by the colour of their skin, 'cause people of every race do good and bad things."

Admittedly their treatment of hispanics and asians is less kind, but given that it's from 1988 and isn't of an exactly progressive genre I consider it well within its boundaries, and these are people who are still fighting for fair treatment in the media, 20 years ago things were much worse for them.

The fourth one generally stays away from stereotypes and has a coloured folk and a south asian working for the FBI, albeit a mostly white cast. However it might lose points when Bruce Willis delivers the line "Dial 1-800-HENCHMEN? I bet you're still on hold for 'can I get another dead asian hooker bitch in here?"

Also Die Hard definitely had tits. Check your facts. So are you saying "what's the best action movie you've ever seen?"

[Edminster]

That aren't afraid to send a white naked cop into Harlem wearing a "I hate you all know the slur" sign!

Fun fact: That was actually filmed in Harlem, but the sign had the word "Colored fellers" put in during post-production.

As for the

That don't expect to go down in history as "deep" or "insightful" but rather as something filled with explosions, one-liners, an occasional flash of tit (not in Die Hard I know), ridiculous amounts of blood, and amazingly improbable plots.

Just because a movie has those (and the first Die Hard DOES have a flash of tit in it) does not make it a 'bad' or 'horrible' movie. Public opinion doesn't even make it that. What makes a bad or horrible movie is poor effort from everybody involved.

I nominate Manos: The Hands of Fate for the best horrible movie I have ever seen, and if you still say that Die Hard should be in the same category I think you need to take a long hard look at your life to see where you went wrong.

[Kimra]

That aren't afraid to send a white naked cop into Harlem wearing a "I hate you all know the slur" sign!

First point: Write the word here, colored feller.

Second point: Die Hard is an excellent script, brilliantly done, comedic timing was excellent, everything about it was great.

Third point (as already mentioned by LR): It had the black guy cop who was overweight but also incredibly useful (and got his dramatic moment at the end). The treatment of asians wasn't so bad, the company was run by a Japanese man (his name escapes me), and he was actually a decent bloke, who died, but was decent.

Fourth Point: Check when the terrorists break into the office and everyones scrambling away. I'm sure you'll notice some titage.

Fifth Point: If you want movies that aren't artistic but still brilliant you should be clearer, here is a list of said movies: Pirates of the Caribbean, Rocky Horror, Terminator, Pitch Black, etc


What about Resident Evil, or Doom? They tend to be pretty bad. They count in my list of movies that are incredibly horrible, but drunk enough you might enjoy.

[Raziel]

GAH! *Tears out rather large chunk of hair and kicks a toddler*

Okay, look at the title. Go on, take a second, read it twice. Does it say "what's the worst movie you've ever seen?"? NO! It says "What's the best horrible movie you've ever seen?"! This is not a list of shitty movies that I want to put down. There are plenty of such lists out there, I'm sure that there are plenty of such lists in here, and that's just dandy. THAT IS NOT THIS THREAD! This thread is meant as a dedication to all the movies that stood up in the face of what Hollywood has deemed to be "good" and "quality" and said "fuck it, I want a scene where a helicopter gets killed by a car, and by God there better be a one-liner following it", movies with lines like “Now that’s a fine trench coat” and multiple swirlies. I did not mean to say that Die Hard is a bad movie in the bad sense. I am not comparing it to Death Wish 4, or any of the various pieces of crap that have made critics cream themselves, or any of the pieces of crap that were obviously shot on a $3 budget.

What I'm trying to say is that the movies that don't care that they're filled with implausible events, random violence, one-liners, poop jokes, purposely bad acting, or any of the other aspects that make a movie great that critics seem to hate; they deserve some recognition. I was hoping that I might even learn of a few titles here that I could pick up for myself.

Bringing Die Hard into the mix was a mistake, I see that now, it's entirely too popular for this type of conversation. People read "it was horrible in all the right ways and I loved it for just that alone" and it somehow gets translated into "Die Hard sux and it iz teh worst mvie evr!" I'm not trying to say that.

On a side note: I nominate anything with Bruce Campbell for this list (except for the Spider Man series, they were decent but ultimately somewhat disappointing to me. Damn nostalgia getting my hopes too high) and I would like to say that he is without a doubt my favorite actor, that I have seen almost all of his movies, and given the opportunity, I would blow him. Clerks also makes the list. Are you starting to see a pattern here? I hope so. Quality films that don’t take themselves overly seriously.

On another side note: Upon further review you are correct, there is tit in Die Hard, I had forgotten, it's been awhile, I'm sorry.

Last but not least: Since I seem to have offended people by not posting the slur I'll make up for it here: colored feller

EDIT: Huh, you know Kimra in this post I tried to take the advice in your first point and that's what I got.

[LordRetard]

Does it say "what's the worst movie you've ever seen?"? NO! It says "What's the best horrible movie you've ever seen?"!

Ed, would you consider it a flagrant abuse of my power to fix this for him?

Hahah relax man, we're not that good at staying on topic. In general, the rule is "you do not own your threads" (though we really play this by ear). The truth is that your title sounds a lot like "so bad it's good", which is a term usually reserved for unintentionally hilarious B-movies (and everyone likes discussing those). I'm not quite sure what you're exactly asking for but it sounds like the real phrase you're looking for is "over-the-top" or "unrealistic" (maybe "cliched"?), which I do not believe to be inherently "horrible". In that case I would've picked a movie like Anchorman or Pineapple Express; I consider them both brilliant movies where people have trouble seeing past that the silliness and over-the-topness are totally intentional.

Also: Yes, there is a wordfilter for nig.ger. It's not that hard to bypass and we aren't that sensitive to the occasional in-context use, it's mostly just a joke.

[Edminster]

The problem that we're running into is that we have a drastically different definition of Horrible. It looks like you're going by the definition of 'not pandering to mainstream audiences' while we're going by 'almost physically painful to watch, but they're so bad that they transcend all meaning'. We're talking about such classics as

• Manos: The Hands of Fate
• Killer Klowns from Outer Space
• Enemy Mine
• C.H.U.D.
• Howard the Duck

These are movies that I have a sick fascination with; movies where if it comes on television you will leave that dial right where it is because that film may be an atrocity but it is a damn good one.

The word you really should have used is probably Audacious, and it's arguments like this that just show you that vocabulary is everything and can provide all sorts of nuance that will prevent confusion before it even starts. So if we're going for the best audacious movie that we've ever seen, my nomination is for the movie Heathers.

The film centers on high school student Veronica Sawyer, who is part of the most popular clique at Westerberg High School in Sherwood, a fictional suburb of Columbus, Ohio. In addition to Veronica, the clique is composed of three wealthy girls with the same first name: the spiteful leader of the pack, Heather Chandler; the unappreciated Heather Duke; and the weak-willed Heather McNamara. These three malevolent girls rule Westerberg through cruelty, contempt and sexual manipulation. Although they are the most popular students at Westerberg, the Heathers are feared more than they are adored, and their reluctant handmaiden, Veronica, has had enough of their vicious behaviour and longs to return to her old life where she was happy with her former friends, who the Heathers view as "nerds" and "geeks."

When a new student, a rebellious boy named Jason Dean, or J.D. for short, pulls a gun on school bullies Kurt and Ram and fires blanks at them, Veronica is intrigued. To avenge herself on Heather Chandler, who mistreated her the night before, Veronica and J.D. jokingly prepare a cup full of drain cleaner to bring Heather as a morning wake-up drink. Veronica decides on milk and orange juice as a suitable form of revenge, as the combination can induce vomiting. J.D. distracts Veronica with a kiss and Veronica takes the wrong cup to give Heather. J.D. notices the mistake, but does not inform Veronica; Heather Chandler drinks the drain cleaner and dies in front of them, falling through a glass table in the process.

J.D. urges Veronica to protect herself from suspicion of murder by forging a suicide note in Heather Chandler's handwriting. Based on this note, the school and community look on Heather Chandler's death as a dramatic, yet somehow hip, decision made by a popular but sadly troubled teenager. Heather Duke soon steps into Heather Chandler's former role as clique leader, and begins wearing a red Scrunchie that had belonged to Chandler.

Several weeks later, the oafish Kurt and Ram spread a false rumor about Veronica giving oral sex to Kurt and Ram at the same time, ruining her reputation at school. J.D. proposes that Veronica lure them into the woods behind the school with the promise to "make the rumors true"; then, they will shoot them with "special" bullets that will knock them unconscious but not kill them. J.D. will plant "gay" materials beside the other boys, including mineral water, a gay porn magazine, and a suicide note saying the two were lovers in a suicide pact. Ram is shot but Veronica misses Kurt, who runs away. Veronica realizes that the bullets are real; J.D. chases Kurt back towards Veronica, who panics and shoots him dead. At their funeral, Kurt's father is seen wailing, "I love my dead gay son!", and the boys are made into martyrs against homophobia.

Other students begin mimicking the perceived behavior of the popular dead kids and attempting suicide themselves. Martha Dunnstock, an unpopular, obese student, known as "Martha Dumptruck", pins a suicide note to her chest and walks into traffic. She survives, but is badly injured, and is mocked for trying to "act popular". Heather McNamara, depressed that Heather Duke told the entire school her embarrassing secrets, attempts to take her life by overdosing on pills in the girls' bathroom, but is saved by Veronica and the two rekindle their friendship. Heather Duke, however, is acting just as cruelly as Heather Chandler, and she and Veronica cease to be friends.

Veronica tells J.D. that she will not participate in any more killings. He plans to kill Heather Duke next, and subtly threatens to do the same to Veronica if she does not cooperate. Veronica instead tricks J.D. by using a harness to make it look like she has hanged herself. Heartbroken, he reveals his plan to blow up the entire school during a pep rally. A petition he has been circulating, via Heather Duke, to get the (fictional) band Big Fun to perform on campus was actually a disguised suicide note. Most of the students had already signed, so the mass murder would appear to be a mass suicide instead.

Veronica confronts J.D. in the boiler room where he is rigging timed explosives. She attempts to kill him when he refuses to stop the bomb. As J.D. collapses, he accidentally stops the timer. Veronica walks out through the pep rally with everyone cheering, unaware of their narrowly-missed demise. The severely injured J.D. follows her outside, looks at her as if to say, "We could have been together..." and detonates a bomb that is strapped to his chest.

In the film's final scene, Veronica, covered in ash and bleeding slightly, confronts Heather Duke in the halls, takes Heather Chandler's red Scrunchie, and engages Martha Dunnstock in a civil conversation, a final rejection of the Heathers' clique.

Does that sound more like the kind of movie you're describing?

e: fucking christ i hate each and every one of you for arguing my point more succinctly than I can and posting while I'm still composing my arguments you sons of bitchaAARAGGHARGHRF

[LordRetard]

Way to be passive-aggressive, Ed, we all know you're talking about me. Is there some forum thing that makes it not display new posts anymore when you're about to post?

[Sahan]

I think the point he made was that by the time he'd found out, it was too late and he was frustrated that he spent all that time coming up with an argument to be beaten to the punch.

Captain Obvious away!

[LordRetard]

I know that, the point I am making is that he's not addressing me directly about it and that's the most insulting part about it!

[Edminster]

Is there some forum thing that makes it not display new posts anymore when you're about to post?

This is twice now in this thread where I hit post and it posts immediately rather than showing me things written while I was composing

Way to be passive-aggressive, Ed

It's the only way i know how to be angry at people

[Apocalyptus]

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

FUCK YES
Also, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
Although it irritates me every time they say 'tom-ay-does'.

[Oldrac the Chitinous]

GAH! *Tears out rather large chunk of hair and kicks a toddler*

Now we're talkin'.

[Kimra]

I seem to have made a friend.

[Sahan]

GAH! *Tears out rather large chunk of hair and kicks a toddler*

Dude, kicking your girlfriend. Not cool.

[Raziel]

GAH! *Tears out rather large chunk of hair and kicks a toddler*

Dude, kicking your girlfriend. Not cool.

lol We've been over this: 7 is past the toddler age. That's my boyfriend/nephew, but it's okay. He's brain-dead so he doesn't count. (I'm going to hell right?)

Anyways I think that you guys have managed to sum up what I was meaning to say much better than I have.