Pokemon, Pokemans, and also the Poconos

[Oldrac the Chitinous]

Hypothesis: If they made a Pokemon that looked like Muhammad, Ahmet would explode.

[Apocalyptus]

here is a picture of EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Wow that gave me a childhood flashback about how I used to be obsessed with Dratini as a kid. I must have blocked it out for some reason.

EDIT: What the heck is this!?

[LordRetard]

Uhh that's an Unown. DUH.

[smiley_cow]

Can you actually ever do anything with unowns? I remember catching one ages ago and trying to train it up to see if something cool happened then getting bored and catching the ones to spell out my name.

[Edminster]

if you spell 'vagina' with them and go to professor oak after beating the Elite Four sixteen times in a row using only those unowns he'll give you a poster of Misty naked to put in your room.

So says some kid in middle school or whatever.

[LordRetard]

Fuck! I knew I should've bought Gold and Silver.

[Cirtur]

What color was it?

Pink

Did it look like one testicle, or two?

Two

Was it an entire phallus?

No, just the sack.

Do you remember anything about it's name, type, color, or card color?

I think it was ground type, but I'm not sure about that. I really hope that helps.

[AHMETxRock]

Can you actually ever do anything with unowns? I remember catching one ages ago and trying to train it up to see if something cool happened then getting bored and catching the ones to spell out my name.

No, not really. Unown have fairly low stats, and can only learn one move, hidden power. Hidden power is determined by IV's, which means you won't catch two identical ones anytime soon. Hidden power ranges from incredibly weak to being of modest strength depending on the pokemon, but also can be any type of attack. These is a way to calculate these things, and if you'd like to see an interesting way of deciding how useful it is then check out smogon's article on Hitmontop, where if you hack him slightly weaker than his strongest possible stats can DOUBLE the power of the atttack because you actually weakened it. Woah.

This means Unown learn only one attack of one type for the entire game, and that's it. If you are lucky enough to get a psychic hidden power, then it's power gets boosted, and it will be able to take down some weaker opponents. Still, they were enjoyable to hunt down. I'm sad I trained one to level 30 before I realized it didn't learn anything else.

[AHMETxRock]

What color was it?

Pink

Did it look like one testicle, or two?

Two

Was it an entire phallus?

No, just the sack.

Do you remember anything about it's name, type, color, or card color?

I think it was ground type, but I'm not sure about that. I really hope that helps.

There are no pink ground types in the first game, although Nidokingis purple, and gligaris sometimes colored as pink. I'm thinking that if you bought the pokemon cards you probably weren't grabbing them around 3rd of 4th gen, although Medicham is often said to look like scrotum. Cheribu is just two cherries stuck together, if you bought it recently this is a good chance of being your perp. Other questionable pokemon are Chinchou, Castform, and Luvdisc. Really, I showed you a list of all the pokemon though, I don't know why you didn't just look through it.

[Cirtur]

I did look through your list. I didn't find it there. I'm starting to doubt it's existence now, but I have decided to do a drawing.

[AHMETxRock]

How long ago was this? Seriously, I can eliminate half the games if you tell me when it happened. Also, you might be thinking of yugioh.

[Cirtur]

It wasn't a game! It was a pokemon card!

[AHMETxRock]

Alright, so you obviously stopped being a fan of pokemon early on. Calling them by the game numbers is relevant because if you were around for the first generation or game only, then I could eliminate about 350 choices available. Anyways, there are many cards but tell me what year and I could probably find out what was out by then and shit.

[Cirtur]

What year?

LAST YEAR

[AHMETxRock]

Shit, that's all of them then. Although if you remembered what the pack of cards featured, we could limit it to an entire set of cards that you could just browse through. Also, why were you buying them? You're over 18, right?