Ghostbusters 3

[Apocalyptus]

Just stare into the children's eyes and announce loudly that you're not masturbating. Problem solved!

[Dindong]

Good solution. Perhaps I'll also announce that I'm not attracted to them.

[Dane Raider]

It might help your case if you explain how long you've been thinking about this.

[Dindong]

You know what, I think announcing it verbally won't work, new kids come in to the shower, cleaner kids leave it before me, I think a sign would work better.

Just a sign that I can hang around my neck with the words "Not a paedophile".

[GreenCrayon]

There's a ridiculously obvious flaw in your plan, and I can't believe that you're not seeing it.

Actual paedophiles do exactly this to try and trick children.

You need to differentiate yourself from them by showing your sincerity. Appending the sign with "Honest!" should be sufficient.

[Dindong]

I don't think they'll believe me and besides, what a negative message, that I'm not a paedophile.

I think what might work better is just giving out sweets and chocolate to the children. Just to show that I'm not a threat.

[GreenCrayon]

Cement your new friendships with the children by offering to show them your puppies!

It's unkind to leave dogs in cars, so you'll want to use a van.

[Dindong]

Tell you what, a van, how cramped, and how little of my personality does a van show? Anyone paedophile could purchase a van and make it look normal. So I'll take them back to my basement, show them how safe everything is, just illustrate that I am not a threat.

[Apocalyptus]

Plus I think you should invite them to sleep over, just so they can make absolutely sure that there's nothing threatening about your basement.

[DonRetrasado]

You should write RAPE VAN on the side...to keep all the weirdos away.

[Apocalyptus]

Get them to sleep in your bed with you to reassure them that you're not going to leave them unsupervised or unsafe.

[Lethal Interjection]

Get them to sleep in your bed with you to reassure them that you're not going to leave them unsupervised or unsafe.

I was going to write something like this, but I couldn't get the wording right. Well done.


You should also make sure you have several video cameras set up around the room. Surveillance is key.