It's way more rhythmic than my usual stuff at the expense of sounding even dumber than normal, but, I was quite happy with it when I wrote it.Yeah, I'm drunk
and I am pissed
and I am sick and tired
of your dumb fucking shit
so many graces
I smile too much
but I have had it and
I'm out to start something today
this is the first
and it's the last
you might not get it
but I know you will remember it
I break the bottle
my conscience fades
room starts to spin;
I don't know your name
Tee Hee, Poetry!
Moderator: Kimra
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
I wrote this over my break today, it's about getting massively drunk and beating up a stranger.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
I either like or don't like the way the last lines break the meter. I can't decide which, but it gets a reaction, so call it a success.
I don't have any context for it, but I've got an orphaned line stuck in my head:
I don't have any context for it, but I've got an orphaned line stuck in my head:
Every hill's a calvary, and every tree's a cross.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
That very last line is actually what I started with. Maybe I should fix up the rest of that stanza, though.Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:I either like or don't like the way the last lines break the meter. I can't decide which, but it gets a reaction, so call it a success.
I get tons of those, and I try to write them all down. I'd really like to collect them one day and put them all together because I really like them, but they're usually so meaningless and free of context that they don't really fit anywhere, they're just words that sound pretty together.Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:I don't have any context for it, but I've got an orphaned line stuck in my head:Every hill's a calvary, and every tree's a cross.
- Kimra
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
I'm trying to read Canterbury Tales. Except, I can't read poetry properly. Damn you poetry!
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
You know, when I think about things that make the Canterbury Tales a bit of a difficult read, the poetry part of it really isn't what comes to mind. They're pretty good though, it's too bad he never finished it.
DonRetrasado wrote:Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Bitcoin.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
That didn't stop Tupac.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always
gödel stop spreading fud
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
It's... it's not finished? Wow... now I have no desire to read it at all.
But yeah, my biggest problem is that in my head I read each line with rising intonation (or something like that). Then realise that the sentence continues for another ten lines and I'm just not reading it right. It was really really getting tiresome to have to re-read each sentence, force myself to ignore the typical signifiers of new sentences (new line, new capital letter etc), and read it properly.
I gave up.
I'll try again soon, because I've now paid for it and I'm curious. But it is proving difficult.
But yeah, my biggest problem is that in my head I read each line with rising intonation (or something like that). Then realise that the sentence continues for another ten lines and I'm just not reading it right. It was really really getting tiresome to have to re-read each sentence, force myself to ignore the typical signifiers of new sentences (new line, new capital letter etc), and read it properly.
I gave up.
I'll try again soon, because I've now paid for it and I'm curious. But it is proving difficult.
King Prawn
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
Fix'd.Kimra wrote:But yeah, my biggest problem is that in my head I read each line with rising intonation (or something like that), then realise that the sentence continues for another ten lines and I'm just not reading it right.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
honestly we could play the fix kimra's posts game until the cows come home but at this point it's getting a bit distracting so kimra maybe you should stop doing everything phonetically?
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always
gödel stop spreading fud
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
It's been a while since I wrote something like this but it came to me on my way home and I don't think it's that good, but it's just something I feel like I have say. As crazy as that is. Also it's not very good, but whatever.
Oh, Winnie
Winnie's in love
Soak the blood in oil
I love that taste
in Kevin's camera
burning man
scent of rubber
Winnie's got a beautiful necklace
box of matches
by any means necessary
I got a taste of fire
Kevin knows what it's like
'till the day he dies
Mandela FC forever
Winnie's in fucking love
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
I like it, it conjures up some good images, especially the 'blood in oil' line.
Although I have to say the name Winnie is just reminding me of Winnie the Pooh.
Although I have to say the name Winnie is just reminding me of Winnie the Pooh.
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!
It's actually Winifred Mandela, and she is a fucking monster.