Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

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Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby FengharTheNord » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:23 pm

The Hary Poters (a satirical treatise on the acclaimed series Eragon)

Once upon a time there was a the hary poters. He was a young boy of age eleven or twelve. He liked cake. But morely he liked magic. Magic was not a fan of the mogles. The mogles did not like magic either. But hary live with mogles so he have to not make the magic or they get angry at him and yell bad things at the hary and then the hary have to go live in the cupboard. The cupboard was small. Hary did not like mushrooms.

One day Hary was walking on the street and then a mogle came up to him and the mogle was not ron but it was stephen baldwins. The stephen baldwins yelled at hary “HARY WHY YOU SO WEIRD?” But the hary did not answer for he was knowing of a great distance that a mage was coming! Hary yelled “DUCK” but the stephen baldwins did not duck and the mage hitted him on the head and he fell asleep. The mage looked at hary and hary felt really cold and he was like “I know what you did to my father!?!” And the mage looked at hary again but this time really long and he lookered real hard and squinted up his eyes and but you couldn'ts see his eyes because mages didn't have them but he squinted them up real tight and hissed “HISSSS” and hary got real scared and ran to his friend ron's house.

When he got to ron's house he saw hermonie and hermonie made a smile at hary and hary was like “thanks” but then hermonie made a frown and hary sweated and he went away but then he came back and hermonie was gone but ron was there and he asked ron “ron do you know about mages?” and ron was like “OH BULLOCKS” and then ron's mom came and hitted him upside the head and say “EH WOT” and then hary gottered his wand and left ron's.

When hary left ron's dumbledorf came and said “hary you got some 'splainin to do!” and hary was like “Oh gee willickers, pop!” and dumbledorf gaved hary a big old man hug and hary felt dumbledorf's wand and he stole it up and cast a magic missile and dumbledorf yelled at harry and hit him upside the head and then ron came out and was like “OH BULLOCKS” and hary and dumbledorf and ron laughed and they went to the dumbledorf school of hogwarts and magic. At the hogwarts school of dumbledorf and magic they saw hermonie and dumbledorf taped hary and hary was like “what” and dumbledorf just winked like a santa holding a coke or like those polar bears and hary knew he had dumbledorf's permission so he went and proposed to hermony and she smiled and he was like “thanks” but then she made a frown and hary ranned away until he met gretchen or I mean hargids and hargids was like “OY HARY” and he smashed hary and hary was all smashed up and hargids because hargids was a drunk he smashed people lots and also he was really big. When hary took out his wand it was usually to do magic. Hary saw prof. Snips and prof. Snips got real angry at seeing hary and hary did not the like of it. Prof. Snips gave hary lunch detention and hary was like “awww man” and then he went to lunch detention and there he was attacked by voldamar and veldamar was a real angry guy that didn't like hary and hary never really understood why but he thinked it had something to do with his disfigurement. So like voldamr attacked hary and was like “HISS” and hary thought he was gonna be snakered up but the prof. Snips came in and was gonna save him but he didn't because it WAS ALL A DREAM~!

When hary woke up it was he was in potions and darkso and hobbly and gromp all made fun of him because he got potions all over his dress and hary was real sad and then he was real angry and he touched his wand but then snips came over and gave hary lunch detention AGAIN. Hary went to lunch detention but he was not attacked by voldemar this time because last time he was attacked it was in a dream and hary thought that real silly.

When hary was done with lunch detention it was time for transmorfations with prof macagongley and macagongley was a real jerkwad because she always wanted the house cup and hary was in the hary was hary when hary put on the sorting hat he was put into grafangle house and grafangle house was prof macagongley house and she always wanted house cup! But harry could no make house cup for he was not on the team to be making the house cup! So hary talked to macagongley after transmorfations class and macagongley gave him a broom and hary tookered it and flew around and for the first time in his life, hary was happy. But then ron camed up and was like “OH BULLOCKS” and hary got real mad at ron and called him a jealous prick but ron got all red and stomped off and hary went and flew with his broom and somehow drackso broke his arm but that's not important hary was flying real good and so he got on the soccer team I mean football team because that's british. Ron really wanted to be on the football team “OH BULLOCKS” said ron but ron was not good at football so hary told him and ron got real red again and stomped off. And then hary's uncle died. Voldemar was making his moves, prof. Dumbledorf told him. Hary yelled “HE KILLED MY UNCLE I' AM VERY ANGRY ABOUT THAT” and dumbledorf said “SORRY BRO” and then they hugged and kissed a bit but hary was alright anyways. Then hary went and talked to this horseman and hargids was there getting drunked up and eating dragons and he was putting hary in danger but hary didn't know and then the horseman kicked hary real hard and hary had a visions that he would have to murder voldemar and hary was like “I can't do!” and the horsemans was like “Yes” and then hary was like “ok” so he went to dumbledorf and dumbledorf made a real sad face.

Then hary assembled his army. Then he died. But before that dumbledorf died because prof. Snips killed him and hary was really angry about that but also he had to run away because hary was just a young boy and could not deal with his dumbledorfs dying that was a real bad thing for a young boy to deal with so he didn't and he raned away and hermony and ron followed him and the whole time you think hermony and hary gonna hook up but nope hary hooks up with ron's sister yuck and hermony hooks up with ron double yuck anyways so they are totally hooking up outside of school and doing magic and then the school is tooked over by snips and everyone knows he killed dumbledorf so they are really angry but prof. Snips hits them all and tells them to be real quiet about it. Oh and also hary fights voldemar a few times. But then hary breaks up all the dead hollows and he goes to kill voldemar but it turns out HARY WAS A DEAD HOLLOW ALL ALONG so hary kills hisself and sees dumbledorf in the heaven and dumbledorf smiles and is like “sup” and hary wakes up and kills voldemar in a giant battle where all these little kids and pregnant women die and dumbledorf is like obi wan kenobi and is cheering hary on from the other side and then the girl who killed hary's uncle get's killed by ron's sister and she's like “Abra kadoo” and hary's uncle's killer dies and she falls down and doesn't get back up and hary is fighting voldemar and voldemar is real scared but hary is using dumbledorfs ultimate wand of power because dumbledorf gave it to him and hary is really happy and so he uses his hary power to beat up voldemar and voldemar dies and everyone claps but still all of his friends are dead and it's really sad but also really happy and ron is like “OH BULLOCKS” and everyone laughs because it's not bullocks that voldemar died that's not bullocks so ron and hermonie hook up and are all bumpin and grindin at the voldemar is dead ball and so is hary and also it turns out that prof. Snips was really a nice guy and he loved hary's mom. THE END.
DonRetrasado wrote:
Amerika wrote:
DonRetrasado wrote:Well you'd need a sock as big as an airplane to hide my penis. An airplane the size of the universe.
Wait I live in a universe.
bow chicka bow wow
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Cirtur » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:28 pm

HAHAHA

Such satire
Such wit
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby FengharTheNord » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:28 pm

I turned this in for a grade.
DonRetrasado wrote:
Amerika wrote:
DonRetrasado wrote:Well you'd need a sock as big as an airplane to hide my penis. An airplane the size of the universe.
Wait I live in a universe.
bow chicka bow wow
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Cirtur » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:30 pm

SPEAKING OF GRADES

I got three As out of three on my recent exams.
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby FengharTheNord » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:32 pm

That's almost 4 A grades out of 4!
DonRetrasado wrote:
Amerika wrote:
DonRetrasado wrote:Well you'd need a sock as big as an airplane to hide my penis. An airplane the size of the universe.
Wait I live in a universe.
bow chicka bow wow
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Cirtur » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:35 pm

Yeah, I didn't go an exam in economics.
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby AHMETxRock » Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:02 pm

Hilarious. Let us know what you get. Also, it wasn't ron's sister who killed lastrange or however her name is. Ginny tried but got knocked down on her ass then her mom straight up used the killing curse or something like that.
Just like an std, will never fully go away.
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Cirtur » Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:03 pm

Everybody loves avada kedavra
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Oldrac the Chitinous » Sat Mar 20, 2010 9:14 pm

'cause the tricks that he does are ever so clever!
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby Hithrow » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:42 am

Like it. The style very much resembles the one i get used to writing. A+, no doubt
Last edited by Hithrow on Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Short Story I wrote. 1500 words.

Postby In Jam » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:48 pm

Good review, A- too self refential

refenrelrential#

referenetialn,

referentail

ref er en tial
referential
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