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Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:59 am
by Kimra
The gig is up. The competition over.
Now you all who entered must vote for which of you shall win. I'll tally it, just reply in this thread with the name of who you vote for and the title of their poem (as made up by me). You get one vote, don't vote for yourself.

Edminster Frosty Copyright
Gutchucker Sciency Stuff
DingDong Metaflower
Dane Raider Mushroom Princess (Like the Flower You are)
Smiley Cow The Classic
Felstaff Budding Psycho
Crunchy Pete Hard Flower
GreenCrayon Devotion
AstroGirl Yoda
Kimra Lazy
DonRetrasado Sodden Paper

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:34 am
by Euclidthegreek
Isn't it the jig is up?

My name is Euclid
I came here too late
I have to confess
I forgot the date

Some men claim
To while away the hour
The best way to do it
Is in contemplation of a flower

I didn't do that
I started too late
My natural impulse
Was to procrastinate

I was going to write
The best poem there ever was
Instead I just wrote
This lame piece of scuzz

It's not like I toiled
Through forest and fen
In the lofty pursuit
Of this flower pen

My excuses are meager
This poem is rote
But yet I will ask you
Can I still vote?

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:53 am
by GUTCHUCKER
I vote for that one. ^^

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:51 am
by Kimra
o.o ...but I like Euclid... but rules.... oh god this will destroy my brain...

*notice there is no answer in this.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:31 pm
by Dane Raider
Because of this pain...

7. You can’t vote for yourself


...I can't vote for who deserves the pen.

But Dindong's Metaflower made me hungry for pizza and showed some genuine devotion to the art form such as it is. Ergo, I'll use a posh word like ergo and throw my vote his way.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:30 pm
by Edminster
Dindong deserves the win. I played the audio file for the boyfriend and he agrees that it is Art.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:35 pm
by Kimra
Euclid, because I'm nice you can vote. Also because I like you. If it had been someone I don't like....

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:29 pm
by DonRetrasado
My vote goes to Felstaff.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:34 pm
by GreenCrayon
It'll come as no surprise that my vote goes to Felstaff's Budding* Psycho.

* I see what you did there.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:15 am
by Euclidthegreek
I'm torn between Dindong's, Felstaff's, and DR's. The passionate reading of Dindong's really enhances it, but I'm racist against him so I think I can't vote for that one. I really liked Felstaff's, which probably has the most literary merit. However, I think DR did the most with the concept whatever that means, so my counterfeit vote goes to him.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:43 am
by Sprinkles
Euclidthegreek wrote:I'm racist against him



this is the first I have heard of this

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:00 am
by Astrogirl
GUTCHUCKER wrote:From a germinologists perspective,
A terminalia is plant genitalia.
From a physicists perspective,
It's a superfluous curved surface.
From an agronomists perspective,
A flower means seed-making power.
From an insect's perspective,
An angelica means sweet nectar.
From a junkie's perspective,
A poppy makes wacky toffee.*
From my perspective,
Who gives a shit? I just needed a concept for this forum poem.

*I made that shit up.

I kinda like this poem, especially the part with the plant genitalia :D .
I don't like the last two lines. Some cool or funny conclusion would have been good, or just leaving them out.


Dane Raider wrote:Like the Flower You Are

This will be the last time,
I promise myself that each time, but each time is a lie.

I laugh around others,
And tell them how I do it for your winning smile, your warm heart,
But really what sticks in my mind is that look in your eye.

He handles you so delicately,
Like the flower you are,
O princess of mine...

But not just mine.

As you flail and kick and squeak out your desperate cry,
I know.

By all that's holy, I wish I believed you,
But I'm no fool.
Your bodyguard so few today,
Oh, is it that time of month again already?
His venomous grin, those reptile teeth,
And with a flick of his wrist you are draped over his shoulder,
He bounds away, powerfully,
And I guess that's why you let him.

How could I compete?

A working man, me.
I unclog the drains,
Yet you let me be the hero of your heart,
I yearn for those days.

Anger wells within me,
How fucking dare you, you bitch?!
I crush the face of another betoothed mushroom,
Revelling in the moment's catharsis as I hold its life in the balance,
And with the final push of my heel it spasms to oblivion.

You're back with me now,
And we lay in each other,
A hero's reward, who could ask for more?
But the words keep echoing in my head,
Never ceasing, always mocking,
As true now as when ever they were spoke,
"Our princess is in another castle."

That's a very poety poem :) . You know, the kind where it's hard to understand what the poet means unless the poet or your language arts teacher tells you.
So, the speaker is a plumber? And someone tries to abduct the princess? And the plumber rescues her, even though he first thinks she might want to be abducted? And then she sleeps with him? But what's that last part about "The princess is in another castle"???

Felstaff wrote:I saw it grow betwixt the crack
And crushed it with my boot
It wasn't in full bloom, alack
Yet now that point is moot.

It struck me then, as I drew breath
That unrelenting power
That I have o'er life and death:
A simple, growing flower.

The ease of which I brushed aside
This floræ growing wild
Could equally unto betide
An also-living child?

I get the first two verses, then I get lost. What's the last one? With the same ease as "I" killed a flower "I" could also murder a child?

Crunchy Pete wrote:So i was out in my car, tryin ta score some flower,
A brand new steet drug, keeps you hard for an hour,
But i couldnt find a dealer no matter how hard I scour,
Then it became obvious this whole idea had turned sour.

Then I thought, why does Crunchy Pete really want this again?
Even without it he puts shame to most mortal men,
And theres no real benefit to hangin out in this den,
Just to pick up what amounts to what a novelty pen is.

So I'm out


So this gave me the idea that Dingdong should redo his poem with the word "penis" instead of "flower". I think it could make him famous.

GreenCrayon wrote:Felstaff's words were once woven so fine,
That they sent a sharp chill up my spine,
So I did my worst,
Writ a flowery verse,
Just so one of his votes could be mine.

Limericks ftw!

Kimra wrote:I see a flower on my desk,
I think, "Oh crap my desks a mess.
To clean it really would be best."
But cleaning isn't that much fun,
I'd rather sit and drink some rum,
and keep on drinking. Yes, I'm a bum.
So on my desk the flower can rot,
Til I care more for my own lot,
Or it's at least a lot less hot.

That's PURE POETRY.

Yes, it is :) .
It's fun to read.
In lines 5 and 6 I have trouble reading it with the proper rhythm, maybe it's just my pronunciation.

DonRetrasado wrote:I took this thing,
a 3 by 3 square of paper,
white on one side, red on the other.
I folded it, and made it into a paper flower
with 4 petals.
I set it outside and waited for it to rain,
at which point it wilted into a
big fucking mess.
I won't let you have it,
this thing of art that was taken from me.


wrote that in two minutes 8)

For two minutes that's not bad.
I like the first 7 lines. Can kinda imagine someone speaking that on a stage in a poetry competition.
I am not sure how to feel about "big fucking mess", it kinda breaks the part before, but that could be intended.
I don't get the last line, why was the art taken from the speaker?
Maybe I should not overanalyze a two-minute poem.

Euclidthegreek wrote:My name is Euclid
I came here too late
I have to confess
I forgot the date

Some men claim
To while away the hour
The best way to do it
Is in contemplation of a flower

I didn't do that
I started too late
My natural impulse
Was to procrastinate

I was going to write
The best poem there ever was
Instead I just wrote
This lame piece of scuzz

It's not like I toiled
Through forest and fen
In the lofty pursuit
Of this flower pen

My excuses are meager
This poem is rote
But yet I will ask you
Can I still vote?

I like it, especially the part "My natural impulse / Was to procrastinate" :D (My natural impulse always.)


I have trouble deciding what to vote for, there are several good ones. I think Dane Raider's is best.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:08 pm
by Kimra
Astro, here's a hint: The plumbers name might be Mario.

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:24 pm
by Crunchy Pete
Crunchy Pete respects smiley cow's honesty and thinks the pen would be most appreciated there

so thats one vote to smiley cow

Re: Poetry Competition

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 3:46 pm
by Felstaff
Dindong wrote:heard in its original pronunciation by the poet. Which you can find here.

Impressive due to its lack of rhoticity.

Flower flower flower flower
flower flower flower flower
flower flower flower flower
flower flower
flower flower
flower flower flower flower
flower flower flower flower
flower flower flower flower
flower flower
flower flower
flower flower
flower flower

With a slight alteration, you can turn your poem into a Capital F!

I know where my vote goes! I believe this vote casts the winner.