[2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

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Moderator: Kimra

Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Gangler » Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:52 am

Kimra wrote:I am doubtful that you really know what time you were born. Do people do that? Know the time they were born? I have narrowed it down to a 24hr period, but that is as close as it gets.

My mom knows the exact time, but I personally only know it to the hour. It's a bit of a tradition we have going that on our birthday she tells us the story of our birth at the exact time when it happened. For my brother that means he gets woken up every year at some point in the dead of the night. Thankfully I'm situated more comfortably in the afternoon.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Kimra » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:55 pm

I got told about my birth once:

Doctor - You're going to be in labor for another six hours, do you want drugs?
Mother - Six hours? Yes! Absolutely.
*given a giant dose of pain killers*
*Kimra is born about ten minutes later*
Nurse - You have a beautiful little girl, do you want to see her?
*staring at roof in fascination*
Mother - Nup.

This is all I know. Oh, also I was 100% an accident. Feel that radiant love.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby GUTCHUCKER » Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:55 pm

Aw.
Unlike you, however, I have to live with the knowledge that I was knowingly created. What kind of monster was my mother back then, to have done such a thing??
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Oldrac the Chitinous » Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:39 pm

You know what else was an accident? Penicillin.

What I am trying to say here is that Kimra probably has strong antibacterial properties.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Gangler » Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:56 pm

Teflon was an accident.
Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon
about to eat your face.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby GUTCHUCKER » Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:03 am

Oldrac the Chitinous wrote:You know what else was an accident? Penisillin.

Just to be topical. No Kimras were harmed in the making of this post.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Sahan » Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:34 am

It's never been said to my face, but I'm aware that my mother had to give up studying engineering at university once I came onto the scene, and the fact that she did saddens her. She managed to complete a degree in accounting studying part-time since then and finally changed from a part-time job to full-time one as a tax accountant because she feels my sister and I are old enough now, so it's not all doom and gloom, though.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby thunderling » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:37 pm

6015 years, give or take a few months. Heretic!

The universe is 6000 years old, for every second goes by a randomly selected second is deleted.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Guest » Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:06 am

I didn't read all the comments so its possible someone's already done this, but...

Assuming the penis's volume increases geometrically (which must be how the kid is calculating a number this low) the the equation is

[initial volume]*[growth rate per second]^(276.802 seconds)=volume of the universe

and if the known universe is considered to be a sphere 13.7 billion light years in radius, then


[initial volume]*[growth rate per second]^(276.802 seconds)=(4/3)pi(13.7 billion light years)^3

or

[initial volume]*[growth rate per second]^(276.802 seconds)=(9.11*10^78 cubic meters)

it's a two variable equation, so that's about as far as we can go unless we want to guess at either its initial size or geometric growth rate. Feel free to try.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Lethal Interjection » Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:33 am

Guest wrote:I didn't read all the comments so its possible someone's already done this, but...

So you spent the time to do the math, but you couldn't read less than 2 pages of comments?
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Guest » Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:22 am

I enjoy the math...

also, just to get a rough estimate of the expansion rate, let's say it's about five inches long and one inch thick, or 6.5*10^-5 cubic meters.

[(9.11*10^78 cubic meters)/(6.5*10^-5 cubic meters)]^(276.802^-1 seconds)= [growth rate per second]

Wolfram|alpha go!

[growth rate per second]~=2

so there we go. a 5 inch long, 1 inch thick penis that doubles in size every second and ignores the speed of light will expand to the volume of the universe in 276.802 seconds. The answer is so close to doubling per second that i'm tempted to believe that this was the same way zach performed the calculation, which allows me to say with a degree of certainty that Zach intended the penis in question to be of the aforementioned dimensions. Mystery solved!
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Kimra » Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:34 am

We have something in common! I didn't read your comments either.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Guest » Fri Oct 21, 2011 5:02 am

Have I offended?
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Kimra » Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:15 am

Have I? 0.o

Okay I'm lying clearly I was being rude. Be not alarmed random 'guest' it takes great effort and stupidity to offend me.
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Re: [2011-Oct-14] How big is he?

Postby Felstaff » Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:15 am

Lethal Interjection wrote:So you spent the time to do the math, but you couldn't read less than 2 pages of comments?

Guest wrote:I enjoy the math...

I LOL'd!
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