[2012-Mar-23] Erectus Nocturnus

[Lethal Interjection]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db ... 2558#comic

Now, I don't want to get all personal, but this problem isn't constant. Does it happen fairly regularly? Yes. But I think the graph over-represents the amount it and consistency of it happening.

Also, the graph was wholly unnecessary for the joke. Though I suppose that Zach needed some pictograph to represent. I think the whole thing would've been funnier from "fact:" on, including the votey.

[Ron Swanson]

Assuming the density of soft tissue to be approximately 1 gram per cc (the density we usually use in radiation calculations).
That much wang on the surface of the moon has a force of 38.1 GN, or 8.75 billion pounds-force.

[Nicholas Cage]

It is around 0.0016% of the mass of Mars' smaller moon, Deimos.

[bdbc78]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2558#comic

Now, I don't want to get all personal, but this problem isn't constant.

By that, are you saying that guys don't get erections every night? Because in general, they actually do, typically during REM sleep. It actually happens several times a night, EVERY night, unless of course the guy has actual physiological issues that prevent him from getting an erection (very rare - most ED is caused by something mental). Here, I found you a link for fun:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnal_penile_tumescence

And as for the effect of erections on the moon, that's nonsense. Erections aren't an increase in overall mass or anything of the sort, they're merely moving blood from over here, to over there. So of course, no change in overall mass or gravitational pull. Your body was just 'working that job' while the wang was the sleeping.

[bdbc78]

Edit:

Oh, and fun fact: To test whether or not a guy has ED because of mental issues, or because his wang actually does not work, a doctor will sometimes order a sleep test. During this test, the technician will wrap electrodes around his dinghy to record the 'change' in the night. If there's no change, then he has honest-to-jeebus ED.


(sorry to double post - not registered = can't edit apparently)

[Boredman]

There would be no change in gravitational forces, since the matter used to enlarge the penis is already present in the body and is just redistributed. Variations in sleeping position would also render matter displacement virtually nonexistent.

[Bean]

Just to be as nit-picky as possible, remember that there isn't some mysterious mass-generation involved in the erection process. All of that extra volume is the result of the displacement of mass from other parts of the body to the penis, which means that the net gravitational effect of nocturnal erections on the moon is basically zero.

[Bean]

And damn. Beaten to the punch. =P

[bdbc78]

There would be no change in gravitational forces, since the matter used to enlarge the penis is already present in the body and is just redistributed. Variations in sleeping position would also render matter displacement virtually nonexistent.

You've effectively been, as they say, ninja'd.

Just to be as nit-picky as possible, remember that there isn't some mysterious mass-generation involved in the erection process. All of that extra volume is the result of the displacement of mass from other parts of the body to the penis, which means that the net gravitational effect of nocturnal erections on the moon is basically zero.

As have you.

[DonRetrasado]

Nuh uh, my penis absorbs radiation from the sun and grows over night.

[Guest]

But if you're facing up, it redistributes the mass to be slightly closer to the moon, increasing its pull.

[DonRetrasado]

Ah, but not everyone is on the side of the moon! It'd depend on the time of day and where the moon was. GWA GWA GWA NEEEERD

[Guest]

Only half of the world has night at a time, though.

[bdbc78]

But if you're facing up, it redistributes the mass to be slightly closer to the moon, increasing its pull.

Most people sleep on their sides, followed by people sleeping on their stomachs, lastly followed by people sleeping on their backs. If I play along with your theory, side sleepers would be a net zero gravitational pull difference. Back sleepers and stomach sleepers would have opposite effects as each other. There are more stomach sleepers than back sleepers, however, stomach boners obviously aren't going straight down into the bed.

So next to no effect from sleep position.

[Apocalyptus]

I'd like to say that never before have we had such a serious and spirited discussion regarding boners, but I'm not sure I'd be right.