[2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Blame Quintushalls for this.

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petesmif
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:32 am

[2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by petesmif »

Trumps, obviously.

The base unit is too small to cope with current levels of fuckery. The system may have to devalue to MegaTrumps, unfortunately there is no agreement on whether a megaTrump is 10 e 6 Trumps or 2 e 20 Trumps. Fuckers.

Fuckerly

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Fuckerly »

I'd say that 100 milliFucklers is the borderline concentration of fuckery needed for it to become self-sufficient

sgolgert

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by sgolgert »

Doesn't the discoverer get naming rights? In the spirit of the shortening of 'Farad', I would suggest 'Wiener'. The base unit would be the average fuckery in a SMBC comic.

This name works well for truly horrible examples, measured in "Megaweiners". Also, anyone whose fuckery is measured in "Microweiners" will be too nice to cause much commotion about the term.

sgolgert

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by sgolgert »

sgolgert wrote:'Wiener'
Or, y'know, spelled correctly.

Jesus.

Anon

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Anon »

I second the nomination for Trumps, though I think rather than devaluing the base unit we should just accept that the base unit is inherently one heck of a fucker. Much as a scientist uses millimeters, nanometers, and so on to measure things much smaller than a meter, I propose we do similar and use milliTrumps, nanoTrumps, picoTrumps, etc.

For example, the guy who doesn't look at the menu until its time to order might give a reading of a few milliTrumps. Everyday indiscretions fall into the microTrump range, while people like anti-vaxxers or such can register up into the centiTrumps (or higher if also bearing celebrity status).

Next step is figuring out the safe annual dosage.

BloodGain
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:34 pm

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by BloodGain »

I hypothesize that while it expresses itself as a waveform, it can also be observed as a particle. To get out ahead of that, I therefore propose the unit name fuck-whit.

Starsky137

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Starsky137 »

The Ramond.
Ramond was a college dorm-mate who demonstrated a perfectly constant level of fuckery.

Ibid2b

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Ibid2b »

Most-Fouls

pun-tificate

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by pun-tificate »

The Douchebag (Db) -- a logarithmic unit that should not be confused with the decibel (dB), though various relationships between the units have been proposed

Nerdsamwich

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Nerdsamwich »

I can't believe that no one has suggested the "fuck-ton" yet. That's an imperial measurement, of course; the metric equivalent would be the "fuck-tonne".

First-time Fucker

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by First-time Fucker »

The obvious choice to me would be the Fu ("fuckery unit") as the base unit. Then, drawing from Nerdsamwich's suggestion, having a certain quantity of Fus add up to a fuck-ton.

petesmif
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:32 am

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by petesmif »

So far as a safe annual dose is concerned, I fear that a linear no-threshold model might be applicable

aleowk

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by aleowk »

I suggest we use the "dickens" as a unit for fuckery for a number of reasons, namely:

a) Charles, undoubtedly the most famous person ever to carry the Dickens surname, was apparently a dick himself (I did my research, I asked Google "who is the biggest asshole in history" and there he was; and before you point out that I should have typed directly "the biggest fucker" instead, I will have you know that "the Hefner", "the Castro" or "the Casanova" do not ring the way that we would like to see associated with this socio-mathematical theory);

b) dickens contains "dick" on it, which (apart from its inherent comedic value) among other things means "a fucker, an asshole, e.g. don't be a dick", which meaning could now be redefined as "a person with an unusually high content in dickens who contributes to an increase of the dickensity of its environment", which makes perfect sense and which will be added to the SI if we define "dickensity" as kilodickens/m3, which I think we should; which takes me to the next point,

c) it is the same on every language on Earth thanks to its origins as a proper noun (plus it will not be confused with the original "Dickens" thanks to both context and the fact that our unit starts with a lower case letter), it is a commonly understood word worldwide and it even exists already on autocorrect dictionaries - I can confirm this as I write here (curiously enough, the word "autocorrect" is underlined with a wiggly red line, despite this being the preferred spelling at Wikipedia); and finally

d) just like "Kodak" (fantastic etymology, which I am sure you are familiar with), the word has a certain quality to express, like if it were Tolkien's Elvish, its own meaning by the mere physical sound that it produces when spoken (me being a professional musician surely introduces some bias into my thoughts, since I give a higher priority to musical aspects than an average person would), although I have to admit that this is a potentially subjective perception, at least while we demonstrate that music is, indeed, THE Universal Language. I will get back to you as soon as I hear back from an alien culture that gets Bach (I am shamefully proud of this sentence).

I am still enjoying the irony of that autocorrect thing... Gödel would be delighted to learn that autocorrect dictionaries contain all the words of a language except the term used for themselves, while M.C. Escher would get tingles thinking of a way to illustrate this concept on his next drawing.

mrpistachios

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by mrpistachios »

I propose the cain (Cn) as the SI unit for fucks. In honor of the person who first discovered and described fuckery.

The standard unit is of course dildos(dd) and a few other units as follows
28 cucumbers (cu) = 1 dildo
1 bag of dildos (bd) = 14 dildos
1 Viber (V) = 8 bags of dildo
1 Drumpf (Tr) = all of the dildos

You can convert dildos to cains with the following ratio 1 Cn : 0.7213 dd
or (ln (4)) Cn : 1 dd

Cassius

Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

Post by Cassius »

One should choose unit based on physical measurable:
1 Weiner = Amount of fuckery needed for one self to become full blown fucker, or alpha fucker
1 Trump = Amount of fuckery needed by an alpha fucker to have it's golden zone ranging from NYC to LA, and a repulsive zone the size of the oval office.

There is still debate about how the Trump relate to the Weiner, mainly because of the rareness of individual showing 1 Trump, until recently, such level were considered impossible by most fuckisist (a new trend among asshologist).

Those unit are absolute unit, but not all fuckery is equal, as it has to be weighted by the fucker absorption, dependent on the individual receiving it, or effective fuckering dose, the associate unit is :
1 Weinersmith = beta(i) x 1 x Weiner
beta(i) is the absorption coefficient. Sum of beta(i) = 1 when integrated over the whole population. It seem the more educated the smaller the beta is, while money and social status does not relate.

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