Worst Sentence You ever read

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LordRetard
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by LordRetard »

Warren G. Harding wrote:I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.
In the words of E.E. Cummings at his death, "The only man, woman or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead."

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Edminster
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Edminster »

Joey Comeau wrote:I am applying to the position for university linguistics professor with your university, because while my love is language, it is also worth noting that language's love is me, for real, and it isn't as strange as it sounds because I think you will agree that while the verb love requires an agent of a living nature, language fills that requirement nicely – living as it does in the hearts and souls of every man, woman, child, and seeing eye dog that wanders this earth with a song in masculine, feminine, or neuter's possessive pronoun's heart and mind, and I feel that working in your university program, teaching undergrads and graduate students would not be the hell that this description evokes, but instead an opportunity to teach a love of language to a world that has decided to hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate, and hey, have you ever stopped to think that explicity is a much nicer word than explicitness on all fronts, at every border, in every way I feel this is true, and because I sat down to write them out, about a dozen times each, I feel I can speak with authority, using definiteness, definity, and seriously –it's just nicer I think, spiritually, though I'm still working on this study to try and prove it through polling of students at my current university, even though they just sort of stare at me all slack jawed, drool making the mad dash for a pavement that couldn't help but offer more in the way of intellectual stimulation than the chasm that is the modern undergraduate mind, that couldn't help but challenge the drool in a way that no English composition course could hope to, not in a world where universities are just as willing to hire professors who prescribe standard grammars as truer languages as they are to grant doctorates to such nincompoops with nonsense in their heads, no hearts in their chests, making me wonder about, well, don't think I haven't noticed that explicity has that little red underline in my word processor, my computer's way of endorsing those effers and their effing prescriptions, their nasal voices preaching "no prepositions at the ends of sentences, unless you have to, no split infinitives, no run on whatever, no this, no that," and I sincerely believe that they've cheated on their significant others, like I bet they've heard someone say something hateful toward the speech patterns of foreigners just learning English, and laughed, like I bet they've used the word "ebonics" knowing full well the condescending, racist nature of the word itself, relishing that root, "ebony", smiling at their coworkers from the African studies department in the hall, all the while having to consciously refrain from asking "what is it that be the up?" in perfect imitation of the phonetic transcripts they've been reading about in little journals, hate rags, and maybe they've picked up on the careful lexical selections in my anonymous letters, in the casual threats I leave on their answering machines, and no I can't promise that I won't physically attack these people if you hire me, but I can promise you this, I will be the best linguistics professor you've ever had, the professor that students recommend to one another, the new hotness, the rad, and in dark corners my colleagues over in the department of "Standard English is the one true lord," will fear the truth I bring to their students, my anger, my explicity.
I think this may be the best sentence I have ever read.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud

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Cirtur
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Cirtur »

TL;DR I use commas liberally.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by cheez.wiz »

Cirtur wrote:TL;DR I use commas, libe,rally.
Fix'd that for you.
bird bird bird, bird is a word, b-b-b-b-bird oh yeah bird is a word, bird bird bird

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LordRetard
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by LordRetard »

tl;dr that was my introductory linguistics text right there.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Cirtur »

LR, I'm not sure you understand how TL;DR works.*

*Yes that's right, I am being stupidly condescending.

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LordRetard
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by LordRetard »

Nah I just made a mistake, and it was crudely written at that. For some reason I thought it would be quicker to read an introductory text on linguistics than one rambling sentence. Really I meant the opposite; every ridiculous thing I spent learning this year is probably somewhere in that line, down to the "everyone is racist" and "prescriptivism is wrong" lines.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Cirtur »

I'm not racist.*


*Lies are fun.

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Sahan
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Sahan »

It's not racist if you are also a race.
Destructicus wrote: Alt text:
"I wonder if chemists feel bad that they're always left out of these sorts of jokes."

Since when is chemistry not a science?

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Edminster
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Edminster »

In that case I'm glad that I am a 10K Marathon.
ol qwerty bastard wrote:bitcoin is backed by math, and math is intrinsically perfect and logically consistent always

gödel stop spreading fud

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LordRetard
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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by LordRetard »

Sahan wrote:It's not racist if you are also a race.
Unfortunately, I am white, which is "unmarked".

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Cirtur »

Get some facepaint and you can be stripey. You can say that all your life you've been called "Stripes" and you laughed along with everyone, but deep inside it really hurt.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Lethal Interjection »

Or you could use the same paint and just Al Jolson it up.*

*When you get back from the hospital, be sure to let us know how it went.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by ruotwocone »

Chuck Dickens wrote:There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France.
Seriously Charles? There were a king!? Isn't that first grade english dumbass? Good god a tale of two cities sucked ass.

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Re: Worst Sentence You ever read

Post by Cirtur »

There were a king and a queen. That is correct.

There were a king and a queen on the throne of England. Also correct.

There were a king with a wide jaw, and a queen with a plain face on the throne of England. Technically correct but because of all the qualifiers the plural is forgotten and the "were" sounds wrong.
Last edited by Cirtur on Mon May 04, 2009 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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