GUTCHUCKER wrote:When good sense and decency hid
Necromancer eternalfrost did
Take it into his head
To raise from the dead
A two year old thead piece of shid.
Sorry to be so late to the party, but:
A zoologist's daughter in Ewing
Gave birth to a bottle of bluing
Her father said, "Flo,
"What I need to know
, but what
you've been screwing
When the girl replied, quick as a wink,
"My child isn't bluing, it's ink,"
The professor said, "Ah!
"Then, no doubt, its papa
"Is the squid that I keep in the sink."
There was a young lady named Rose
Who'd occasionally straddle a hose
And parade about, squirting,
And spouting and spurting,
Pretending she pissed like her beaux
She was seen by her cousin named Anne,
Who improved the original plan
Said she, "My dear Rose,
"In this lowly old hose,
"Are all the best parts of a man."
So, avoiding the crude and sadistic,
She frigged in a manner artistic
At the height of the pleasure,
She turned up the pressure,
And cried, "Ain't it grand and realistic!"
They soon told the Duchess of Fyfe,
And her crony, the alderman's wife;
And they found it so pleasing,
And tickling and teasing,
That they washed men right out of their life
It was tried by the great Mrs. Biddle,
And she said to her husband, "Go fiddle!
"Here's double the fun,
"And you get three in one--
"A ducking, a douche, and a diddle."
It was tried by the dancer, Di Basle,
Whose vagina was fit for a nozzle,
She said, "I admit,
"It's an elegant fit,
"But of course it won't do for the arse 'ole."
It was tried by the Duchess of Porter,
And passed on by her to her daughter,
Who said, "With a layman,
"You're fearful of semen,
"But a f***'s as effective with water."
Thus writes Lady Vanderbilt-Horsett,
Who invented the Lonely-Maid corset:
"I thought all vicarious
"I was wrong. It's a whiz. I endorse it."
Soon in Paris, on the Boulevard Salique,
You could purchase, (complet avec talic,
Pour soixante francs cinq)
A short hose and a tank,
And they called it, Le F***eur Hydraulique.
Hope you'll forgive my thread revival.