Fun for the whole shamily

Simon. · Post by **Simon.** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:48 pm

New question! Not because I thought it was good, but because you need a question.

You are the captain of a team of basketball players. You are on a court with them in the middle of a game. Your other team members are -

Bontta - Big guy, possibly Serbian, awful at basketball, can't bounce without focusing his entire life on keeping it going. Loses the ball a lot. But is incredible at getting rebounds. (fouls - 4)
Dwight - Small guy, cute, red hair, quite possibly gay. He's not too bad at basketball, has a natural aptitude, but has never trained, and is only playing because him mum wants him to get out there and toughen up. His heart is not in it. (fouls - 0)
Doris - She's the one out to prove that women can play sports just as well as men. They can't. She's doing a horrible job and has managed to get pregnant since the game started. (fouls - 1)
Tom Cruise - great basketball player, but a bit of a showboater, also keeps telling you Xenu is helping him, and that Minority report was a great movie. It was pretty good Tom, NOT GREAT. (fouls - 3)
DAAAAAAVOOOO - Davo is everybody's friend, unfortunately he can't play basketball for shit. Awful at every possible facet of the game, and any attempt by him to get near the ball will result undoubtedly in the other team scoring in seconds. This is why he is on the bench. Ready and eager to sub on for any reason. Also he is your lift home. (fouls - 1 (for yelling))

Note: Your teammates attributes are non-negotiable, so no "AND SUDDENLY THEY WERE ALL BASKETBALL GODS"

As the game stands it is 3 quarter time, the opposing team are all averaged skill, and pretty generic, they don't look in the mood for any trouble, just out to play a nice friendly game of basketball. They are also beating you quite severly. You blame this on DAAAAAVOOOOO even though he's been on the bench the whole time. Still your fault Davo. Note that if Davo does not get on the court for some noticeable time, he will not give you a lift home.

This is a standard basketball game, with the rules being non-negotiable. You can't have more than 5 players on at once, and if a player gets 5 fouls, they are fouled off and cannot come back on. The scoring system is standard basketball scoring, 2 points per goal, 1 for a free-throw, and 3 for a shot from outside the 3 point line. The scoring system is non-negotiable as well, No "AND THE SHOT COUNTS FOR 5 BILLION POINTS".

The scores are 13 (you) to 46 (them). You have 11 minutes left in which to finish the game with some ounce of credibility. As team captain, the players are relying on you to get them out of this somehow.

What's your battle plan?

mountainmage · Post by **mountainmage** » Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:32 pm

Simon. wrote:You blame this on DAAAAAVOOOOO even though he's been on the bench the whole time. Still your fault Davo. Note that if Davo does not get on the court for some noticeable time, he will not give you a lift home.

Sounds to me like davo is a real person that simon knows.

Craze · Post by **Craze** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:39 am

A tough one... Well, don't blame me if I make an entire short story (or not so short story...) as my answer. So many interrelationships to play out...

Craze · Post by **Craze** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:33 pm

Jaydee wrote:My fingertips sting from touching hot potato gems.

I don't know whether that's genius poetry or a real life description, but I like it.

Craze · Post by **Craze** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:05 pm

Phew, finished and submitted. I went more than a little insane with my level of detail, though...

mountainmage · Post by **mountainmage** » Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:50 pm

no, craze, detail is always good. except when describing sex with tucker's mom.

Lethal Interjection · Post by **Lethal Interjection** » Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:17 am

mountainmage wrote:no, craze, detail is always good. except when describing sex with tucker's mom.

But that's just because everyone knows those details.

cheez.wiz · Post by **cheez.wiz** » Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:13 pm

Lethal Interjection wrote:
mountainmage wrote:no, craze, detail is always good. except when describing sex with tucker's mom.
But that's just because everyone knows those details.

I don't. And never want to.

mountainmage · Post by **mountainmage** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:10 am

oh come on cheezy! it's practically a rite of passage at the forum. kinda like the internet's rite of passage by seeing meatspin, goatse, tubgirl, etc.*

*except much, much, MUCH worse.

mountainmage · Post by **mountainmage** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:51 pm

also, still waiting on jaydee's response. no rush though.

TwoBuy · Post by **TwoBuy** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:52 pm

mountainmage wrote:oh come on cheezy! it's practically a rite of passage at the forum. kinda like the internet's rite of passage by seeing meatspin, goatse, tubgirl, etc.*

Put a fucking NSFW on those next time fucker!

mountainmage · Post by **mountainmage** » Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:00 am

i didn't link to them...therefore It's all good in the hood.

cheez.wiz · Post by **cheez.wiz** » Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:44 am

mountainmage wrote:i didn't link to them...therefore It's all good in the hood.

I'm with mm on this one.