[2013-Jan-17] Hyper-metamating

[Peon]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=2858#comic

This comic is totally me. I'm not a student of biology or anything but I have thoughts like the woman in the first panel all the time.

[nobody]

but those bitches still friendzone you right? fucking bitches

[GUTCHUCKER]

Knowledge of the mating behaviour of other animals gives you a different perspective, which can make human mating behaviour more interesting in comparison. Consider that we can be attracted to such a variety of things - attitude, physical prowess, skill at mating, charm, conversational capability, knowledge and intelligence, etc. When we signal our desire for a relationship we can be subtle or glaringly obvious, depending on the language, body language and props we use, like flowers and subtly disguised animal products such as musk*. We've even surrounded our ourselves with myths and misconceptions on the matter.
Compare that to the mating dance of scorpions, or the drive-by fertilisation performed by squid with their dart-like spring-loaded sperm packages, the duplicitous colour-change communication of cuttlefish (pretending to be a female to go undercover and steal another cuttle's mate, signalling one thing on the left side of its body and another on its right) or the polarised hyperspectral luminescence mantis shrimps use to signal a potential mate.
I think perspective can make a lot of things more interesting.

*Does that get used as a gift? I'm not sure.

[anus mcgee]

THIS COMIC IS FUCKING STUPID

[GUTCHUCKER]

Yeah, basically.

[Peon]

but those bitches still friendzone you right? fucking bitches

Nah I don't really get friendzoned. But I don't make moves very often. When I make a move I'm pretty confident it's a sure thang

I was pretty pathetic back when I was still a virgin though. One time I was visiting my friend over winter break and I thought some chemistry was going on between me and his cousin. Somehow I figured putting my hand on her leg during a movie would be a good way to make a move and she said "I don't think my cousin would like that." When I told her I had already gotten his OK she pretty much said no anyway. Such was life back then. Things are much better now. I employ strategies like tact and patience.

[nobody]

"Tact and patience"

I AM THE HUNTER

[DonRetrasado]

my favourite strategy is flaunting around a bundle of cash and bringing magnum condoms to the register she's working at