Guano Loco Nostalgia Time with Drakken: Power Rangers

[drakken22]

((This is a series of reviews I have posted on my livejournal. These are the raw reviews with minor edits, because I cuss ALOT on my journal.
This review was originally called " NOSTALGIA TIME WITH (edit for real name): Power Rangers part 1 (and a comparison to its japanese counterpart!), posted Dec. 23rd, 2008 . Enjoy!))


Hey kids, its nostalgia time!

Ah yes, power rangers. airing on fox kids from 1993-1996, the original power rangers introduced kids everywhere to the wonders of space aliens, floating blue heads, acrobatics in bright spandex and giant mechas. it was a smash hit for fox, and almost every kid i knew either loved or hated power rangers. "oh, its too much like voltron", or "screw them, i watch transformers" were explanations i got most of the time, and i say "fair enough". it really was a love or hate scenario with this show. but why? well, ill tell you:

First off, the acting is laughable at best. going back and watching this show, i cant help but cringe everytime i hear a "joke" or someone tries to show "EMOTION". now, what do i mean by "EMOTION"? ill show you.

"o god guys, the city is in TROUBLE!"

"WE HAVE TO STOP THEM KIMBERLEY MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE LETS GO NOW"

shakespear at its finest. next, the story just goes nowhere. it started nowhere either. and if you never watched the show, let me offer a brief recap for you: in the far off year of 1992, two astronauts ventured off to a planet that orbits the earth once every 2000-so years. as they explore the vastly unappealing set, they find a bright shiny object. and as you know, bright shiny objects are to be played with at all costs.

so, they go and rub this thing (just go with it) and out pops rita and the gang. and just like f-ing clockwork, zordon starts freaking out. the story goes to the angel grove youth center where our heroes are doing what every teenager did back then: gymnastics, muy thai and karate. after a brief run-in with bulk and skull, an earthquake hits the city. and while everyone starts running out, our heroes stay, STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AEROBICS ROOM. (i personally hope a flourescent light smashes your skulls in.) but alas, they are magic'd to the magical world of bad space-age props and run into our little buddy alpha-5, a robot so gay that c-3po is considered a pimp in comparison.

Then suddenly, out from the shadows doth come our big blue disembodied floating head, zordon himself. he explains whats going on to the teens and gives them their morphers. after being given such power (the morphers and the zords, namely), they say thanks but no thanks and leave the jewish ampitheater (NO SHIT. THE COMMAND CENTER IS OWNED BY JEWS. GOOGLE IT, I SWEAR TO GOD.) after being attacked by putties on the way out, they transform and are suddenly whisked off to early 1990's japan, where they fight goldar. they beat him, then rita makes goldar the size of one of the twin towers and laughs her fat ass off. not to be outdone, the rangers summon their zords and beat him again. the final scene consists of them joking around, usually at the juice bar or the command center. aaand, thats about it really. thats usually how an episode of power rangers works.
1: normal day
2: freaky shit
3:command center scene
4:fight
5:MEGA FIGHT
6:conclusion.

and if you can believe it, there's not one, but 2 movies based on this show. im not going to get into them, but let me just say that dulcea is HAWT. keep on whirling them sticks dulcea, ill keep watching ^_^

so, we know all about power rangers, but what about the source material? surely it cant be as good as ours, right? we always do everything so much better than japan, it cant be any better. (reads plot outline of japanese version.) holy crap, scratch that, i was totally wrong ^_^.

KYORU SENTAI ZYURANGER aired in japan back in 1992, and my god, there's actually some semblance of plot here.
many many years ago, there were villages that lived amongst dinosaurs. the 5 main villages each had a differant dinosaur (or ice age animal, whatever) that was the primary herd there. you had mastodons, triceratops'sis, saber tooth tigers, pteradactly's and tyranosaurus's represented, and one warrior trained to fight the supernatural was picked to represent the village as well.

gettting the picture so far? good. now, bandora (rita for us) was wandering around one day with her son, and one of the animals of the village went guano-loco and killed her son. filled with rage and vengeance, she swore revenge on the villages for letting this happened, and SHE SOLD HER SOUL TO SATAN TO HAVE THE POWER TO FIGHT THEM. YES, THAT SATAN. NO F-ING JOKE. so apparently, god took these five villagers and gave them each the power to fight back. and god is represented as such: the 5 zords are lesser gods, but once combined are part of the holy trinity. the other members of the trinity? the dragonzord and titanus.

so, when they combined, they had the power of god. the series ends with the zords (god) fighting against great satan (the devil), and good triumphing over evil. HOLY F-ING S**t. now i know why they never aired the original in the states. i mean, can you just imagine the lawsuits? still, ive seen a good portion of zyuranger, and i have to say that its really good. no joke, i loved the show. oh, and the green ranger? he's red's brother. thats what i like about this show, theres alot of conflict going on. lots of hard decisions have to be made, and the price is sacrifice most of the time. i definetly reccomend it!

Thats all for now!

(as you can see, my writing style has gotten better over the past few months. I'm Thinking of making this a weekly segment on the forum. give me feedback and let me know what you think!)

[LordRetard]

¿Guano loco? ¿Qué está? Creo que Ud. deba poner el URL de su blog aquí. Está más fácil.

Fuck these accents are hard to get on a laptop.

[mountainmage]

Just one question: how did 5 zords become a holy trinity?

Also, good power rangers review. For the record, I watched Voltron, Power Rangers, AND Transformers.

[smiley_cow]

¿Guano loco? ¿Qué está? Creo que Ud. deba poner el URL de su blog aquí. Está más fácil.

Fuck these accents are hard to get on a laptop.

I know the feeling. Personally I use alt+fn+numbers for accents when I type in French. for example alt+fn+133=à, 130=é, 161=í etc...

It takes a while to memorize but once you got it down it saves so much time, and it's so much simpler than using a French keyboard.

Whole lotta stuff about power rangers

Wait, there's two movies? I've only ever seen the first one, I need to get on this. Also, I never knew anything about the original series but that answers so many questions. I mean, when I was five a giant blue head recruiting a bunch of random teenagers to summon robotic dinosaurs and fight evil made perfect sense, but it has occurred to me since then that perhaps there should be a reason for it all.

[edit-found a typo]

[mountainmage]

If not them, then who? The government? They don't have giant robot technology yet, as far as we know.

[LordRetard]

I know the feeling. Personally I use alt+fn+numbers for accents when I type in French. for example alt+fn+133=à, 130=é, 161=í etc...

It takes a while to memorize but once you got it down it saves so much time, and it's so much simpler than using a French keyboard.

Well I don't use a foreign keyboard because I barely know English, even, I've memorised all of the alt-codes for Spanish. It's that I can't access them without turning on num-lock, which disables part of the keyboard for it. It's extremely inconvenient. And apparently alt+fn doesn't work on this laptop. Hopefully I just fix my internet soon.

[smiley_cow]

I hate foreign keyboards because I don't know how to use them, and anything I don't understand is to be feared and shunned as far as I'm concerned.

I have to have numlock on my laptop too to use the alt+number function but so far it hasn't been a problem. I guess our laptops are just different.

[LordRetard]

Yeah, poop this shit, I'm just gonna use US-international keyboard. It allows you to use the regular keyboard, in conjunction with right alt, to type foreign characters. Wicked simple!

[Edminster]

¿Guano loco? ¿Qué está?

Guano = Batshit
Loco = Crazy
Guano Loco = Crazy about Batshit

I think it's a reference to his apparent idolisation of Batman.

Also, I use Character Map, because my time is worthless.

[mountainmage]

Wouldn't it mean Batshit Crazy?

[Edminster]

Wouldn't it mean Batshit Crazy?

There you go with your rational logic and reasoning skills.

[mountainmage]

I know. I'm quite the rebel, aren't I?

[LordRetard]

I'm gonna over-logic mountainmage and inform him that adjectives come AFTER the noun in Spanish.

So what he's saying is essentially "crazy batshit, and nostalgia time".

[mountainmage]

I'm gonna under-logic and suggest that batshit is an adjective also, and a modifier of crazy.

[cheez.wiz]

I know the feeling. Personally I use alt+fn+numbers for accents when I type in French. for example alt+fn+133=à, 130=é, 161=í etc...

It takes a while to memorize but once you got it down it saves so much time, and it's so much simpler than using a French keyboard.

Well I don't use a foreign keyboard because I barely know English, even, I've memorised all of the alt-codes for Spanish. It's that I can't access them without turning on num-lock, which disables part of the keyboard for it. It's extremely inconvenient. And apparently alt+fn doesn't work on this laptop. Hopefully I just fix my internet soon.

And just how often do you use that í in french?

Cause, you know, you might be doing something wrong, FYI.