Turns out you should probably sleep every 90 or so hours

[Cirtur]

IT'S FOR MY FILES

NOT THE POLICE

POLICE? WHO'S THAT

I DON'T A PO-LICE

[Kimra]

It's not the police you have to worry about it's Rainbow, those FBI are sneaky.

[Cirtur]

I think the team behind Rainbow have given up.

[Kimra]

That's a shame, I hope they're all good. Someone should send them doughnuts and coffee.*

*because they're officers of the law, get it?

[Raziel]

I don't know what I find more concerning: that you know what I look like or that you know what my pedo-smile looks like...

Cirtur gives us the details and photographs of all his clients.

Wait. Since when am I a client? I sell children sir, I have no need to buy used merchandise from others. Hmph!

[Cirtur]

Raziel you can't own drama.

YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR OWN STORY. You need to purchase the ones I make for you.

Specifically the ones with funny titles. Like "Childs and Manjuice"*


*That's meant to be pride and prejudice. THEY'RE DIFFICULT!

[Oldrac the Chitinous]

Pride and Preadolescents.

[Cirtur]

Goddammit.


Lord of the Swings. School of Cock.
I knew I'd think of some.

[Raziel]

Raziel you can't own drama.

YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR OWN STORY. You need to purchase the ones I make for you.

Specifically the ones with funny titles. Like "Childs and Manjuice"*


*That's meant to be pride and prejudice. THEY'RE DIFFICULT!

I only do child-themed movie remakes. For example:

Final Fantasy VII: Anal with Children
The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Buttocks
Toddler Raider
Kiddy Licker’s
Children of the Cornhole
The Old Man and the Preschool
Edward Pedohands
Sky Captain and the Wanking of Toddlers
The Fantastic Four-Year-Old... In Bed...

I spent my entire English class coming up with titles, I feel sort of sick.

[Apocalyptus]

I think Edward Paedohands and The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Buttocks are winners.

[Cirtur]

"The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Buttocks" doesn't sound very childish.

[Raziel]

"The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Buttocks" doesn't sound very childish.

Benjamin sounds like a little kid's name to me for some reason, but I can see your logic. We'll strike that one, still, that's 8 disgusting knock-offs I was able to come up with in roughly 20 minutes. If nothing else, I feel shame.

[Euclidthegreek]

Today I* came up with a great movie series for Cirtur. Or possibly a new alternative identity for him or Raziel.

It's the adventures of Pedophile Boy! (Or PedoBoy). Little boy, have an itch in your anus? Pedophile Boy will come to the rescue! Oh no, a poor child is suffering from testicular cancer! Pedophile Boy will come and suck all the cancer away!

*Actually my friend, though I contributed. We were walking past a preschool at the time.

[Raziel]

Today I* came up with a great movie series for Cirtur. Or possibly a new alternative identity for him or Raziel.

It's the adventures of Pedophile Boy! (Or PedoBoy). Little boy, have an itch in your anus? Pedophile Boy will come to the rescue! Oh no, a poor child is suffering from testicular cancer! Pedophile Boy will come and suck all the cancer away!

*Actually my friend, though I contributed. We were walking past a preschool at the time.

Kinda redundant... When I think pedophilia I don't think two children, I think a child an adult.

Pedo-Man would work much better; he could even have a sidekick! I'm thinking Batgirl meets an infant, perhaps Lowly Lolita, Double L for short? It has a bit of a ring to it:

Pedo-Man and Double L foil another nefarious Dateline plot!

[Cirtur]

This sounds a lot like Pedobear.