The Longest Joke Ever!

[davoid]

So, a guy walks into a bar...

[Cirtur]

why the long face!

[Apocalyptus]

That wasn't long at all!

[Sahan]

That's what she said?

EDIT: For those reading my title, that was not a penis joke! Just an observation.

[freako104]

I figured the longest joke was either my love life or Chevy Chase's career

[LordRetard]

That really depends on how much longer you live.

[Lethal Interjection]

I remember a really long joke about a brick and a chihuahua where the length is part of the shtick. Also you were supposed to break it into two jokes, told with reasonable distance, where the first had no punchline and left everyone confused. I really liked it. I would've written it out here, but it doesn't work as well with text, especially when it is a huge wall of it.

[rustypup]

Chevy Chase's career

David Hasselhoff and Germany.

/dev/null

[davoid]

I remember a really long joke about a brick and a chihuahua where the length is part of the shtick. Also you were supposed to break it into two jokes, told with reasonable distance, where the first had no punchline and left everyone confused. I really liked it. I would've written it out here, but it doesn't work as well with text, especially when it is a huge wall of it.

That reminds me about a social experiment one of my roommates started doing this year. He had half a dozen "jokes" he would tell that were either really long, involved, or convoluted. None of them had any punch line at all, but instead a totally nonsensical ending. When he was done, he would start laughing really hard (and so would we, to play along with his game) to see if the person he was telling the joke to for the first time would laugh just because they thought they should have got the joke. The sad part was, like 70% of people would fake a big laugh rather than ask to have it explained. Here's an example of one of the jokes he told:

So, two penguins walk into a bar. The first says "hey, gimme a beer" and the other stays silent. The bartender says "what's with your pal? He isn't drinking?" The second penguin butts in and says loudly "Well, if you must know, my wife is at home with the kids right now, and one of them wants to be a CONTRACTOR. Anyway, I'm just out tonight looking for a hooker and a bar of soap." The bartender, confused, says "well, why can't you drink a bit tonight if you just need to find some soap and a hooker?" The penguin looks up and says "Hello?! No soap radio!"

Btw, I'd suggest we just get a communal "The Aristocrats" joke going here, if I wasn't so afraid of what you guys would come up with.

[Edminster]

No soap radio

Oh man, it's been a while since I've thought about that meta-joke. Thanks for reminding me! Now I've gotta try that out on people.

e: on second thought this will really be difficult to pull off with my lack of IRL friends...

[LordRetard]

No soap radio

This is a favourite of mine. In all fairness it is actually pretty damn funny, and most people I know will laugh in full understanding of the joke... Or is that more telling of the people I associate with? Anyway it's fantastic, and I wish I could actually manage to trick people with it at least once.

[FengharTheNord]

THE LONGEST JOKE EVER IS MY DICK. BAM.

[Cirtur]

Bitches do laugh.

[FengharTheNord]

I dress it up as a clown. It's how I connect with my inner-child.

[LordRetard]

I kind of imagine you doing that, and then unzipping your pants in front of a random lady, and then you start crying and shouting out "please love me!" And totally ruin someone's brain for life.