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I once joked about this back when twitter existed and a Twitter Dominatrix told me that she'd done it plenty of times.

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Suddenly terrified that Matthew Wills already did this joke at some point.

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Actually, things were at their best during the last year of my life when I had no responsibilities.

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What a strange coincidence the way this keeps happening every day.

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You occasionally, by accident, get fleeting glimpses of the truth, and then you ascribe them to muses and fairies and shit.

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Genuinely, putting artists in charge of depicting the good life has been a catastrophe.

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This is also why Daisy Duck has more linguistic capacity than Donald.

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They can also communicate via quantum superposition, but it's way less interesting.

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This is why humans evolved our unique ability to self-deceive.

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Things will never again be so beautiful.

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Disobey God and get drowned immediately is really more of an Abrahamic religion thing.

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It ends up okay when she two-hands his butt right before the world is annihilated.

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I recently rewatched the 80s Superman movies, and it's really unclear to me why they will not Kneel Before Zod.

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Readers are encouraged to try to beat this, and fail.

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Later they make you pay for the premium version in order to betray humanity.

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The sad part is he just keeps pressing the button till be random luck the robot confesses.

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I believe it follows that an average married man should be looking for about 5/6 of a wife.

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Later he starts adding quest items she doesn't want, but feels compelled to earn.

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They still scrape parmesan on it till you say when, though.

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If a company would just once say 'make sure not to use the app' they would have my loyalty forever.