## [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

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### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

If the unit is the fuck, I propose a metric-like system of prefixes, but a bit different from the norm.

10^-9 Dontgivea-
10^-6 Whogivesa-
10^-3 Mightgivea-
10^3 Oh-
10^6 Mother-
10^9 Fuckfuck-

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

1 fuck = 1 fuck
10 fucks = 1 bushel of fucks (or a push-in-the-bush)
10 fucking bushels = 1 field of fucks (the field I grow mine in..)
10 fucking fields = 1 Fuck-ton (or a Fuck-tonne)

1/10 fucks = a finger (ie. 10 fingerings in a fuck)

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

mrpistachios wrote:I propose the cain (Cn) as the SI unit for fucks. In honor of the person who first discovered and described fuckery.

The standard unit is of course dildos(dd) and a few other units as follows
28 cucumbers (cu) = 1 dildo
1 bag of dildos (bd) = 14 dildos
1 Viber (V) = 8 bags of dildo
1 Drumpf (Tr) = all of the dildos

You can convert dildos to cains with the following ratio 1 Cn : 0.7213 dd
or (ln (4)) Cn : 1 dd

Found the British person

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

One should choose unit based on physical measurable:
1 Weiner = Amount of fuckery needed for one self to become full blown fucker, or alpha fucker
1 Trump = Amount of fuckery needed by an alpha fucker to have it's golden zone ranging from NYC to LA, and a repulsive zone the size of the oval office.

There is still debate about how the Trump relate to the Weiner, mainly because of the rareness of individual showing 1 Trump, until recently, such level were considered impossible by most fuckisist (a new trend among asshologist).

Those unit are absolute unit, but not all fuckery is equal, as it has to be weighted by the fucker absorption, dependent on the individual receiving it, or effective fuckering dose, the associate unit is :
1 Weinersmith = beta(i) x 1 x Weiner
beta(i) is the absorption coefficient. Sum of beta(i) = 1 when integrated over the whole population. It seem the more educated the smaller the beta is, while money and social status does not relate.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

I propose the cain (Cn) as the SI unit for fucks. In honor of the person who first discovered and described fuckery.

The standard unit is of course dildos(dd) and a few other units as follows
28 cucumbers (cu) = 1 dildo
1 bag of dildos (bd) = 14 dildos
1 Viber (V) = 8 bags of dildo
1 Drumpf (Tr) = all of the dildos

You can convert dildos to cains with the following ratio 1 Cn : 0.7213 dd
or (ln (4)) Cn : 1 dd

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

I suggest we use the "dickens" as a unit for fuckery for a number of reasons, namely:

a) Charles, undoubtedly the most famous person ever to carry the Dickens surname, was apparently a dick himself (I did my research, I asked Google "who is the biggest asshole in history" and there he was; and before you point out that I should have typed directly "the biggest fucker" instead, I will have you know that "the Hefner", "the Castro" or "the Casanova" do not ring the way that we would like to see associated with this socio-mathematical theory);

b) dickens contains "dick" on it, which (apart from its inherent comedic value) among other things means "a fucker, an asshole, e.g. don't be a dick", which meaning could now be redefined as "a person with an unusually high content in dickens who contributes to an increase of the dickensity of its environment", which makes perfect sense and which will be added to the SI if we define "dickensity" as kilodickens/m3, which I think we should; which takes me to the next point,

c) it is the same on every language on Earth thanks to its origins as a proper noun (plus it will not be confused with the original "Dickens" thanks to both context and the fact that our unit starts with a lower case letter), it is a commonly understood word worldwide and it even exists already on autocorrect dictionaries - I can confirm this as I write here (curiously enough, the word "autocorrect" is underlined with a wiggly red line, despite this being the preferred spelling at Wikipedia); and finally

d) just like "Kodak" (fantastic etymology, which I am sure you are familiar with), the word has a certain quality to express, like if it were Tolkien's Elvish, its own meaning by the mere physical sound that it produces when spoken (me being a professional musician surely introduces some bias into my thoughts, since I give a higher priority to musical aspects than an average person would), although I have to admit that this is a potentially subjective perception, at least while we demonstrate that music is, indeed, THE Universal Language. I will get back to you as soon as I hear back from an alien culture that gets Bach (I am shamefully proud of this sentence).

I am still enjoying the irony of that autocorrect thing... Gödel would be delighted to learn that autocorrect dictionaries contain all the words of a language except the term used for themselves, while M.C. Escher would get tingles thinking of a way to illustrate this concept on his next drawing.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

So far as a safe annual dose is concerned, I fear that a linear no-threshold model might be applicable

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

The obvious choice to me would be the Fu ("fuckery unit") as the base unit. Then, drawing from Nerdsamwich's suggestion, having a certain quantity of Fus add up to a fuck-ton.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

I can't believe that no one has suggested the "fuck-ton" yet. That's an imperial measurement, of course; the metric equivalent would be the "fuck-tonne".

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

The Douchebag (Db) -- a logarithmic unit that should not be confused with the decibel (dB), though various relationships between the units have been proposed

Most-Fouls

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

The Ramond.
Ramond was a college dorm-mate who demonstrated a perfectly constant level of fuckery.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

I hypothesize that while it expresses itself as a waveform, it can also be observed as a particle. To get out ahead of that, I therefore propose the unit name fuck-whit.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

I second the nomination for Trumps, though I think rather than devaluing the base unit we should just accept that the base unit is inherently one heck of a fucker. Much as a scientist uses millimeters, nanometers, and so on to measure things much smaller than a meter, I propose we do similar and use milliTrumps, nanoTrumps, picoTrumps, etc.

For example, the guy who doesn't look at the menu until its time to order might give a reading of a few milliTrumps. Everyday indiscretions fall into the microTrump range, while people like anti-vaxxers or such can register up into the centiTrumps (or higher if also bearing celebrity status).

Next step is figuring out the safe annual dosage.

### Re: [2017-02-20] Units of Fuckery

sgolgert wrote:'Wiener'

Or, y'know, spelled correctly.

Jesus.

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