Where is SMBC from?

[DonRetrasado]

Ja ich weiß, meine Mutter und Oma sprechen Deutsch aber ich kann nicht dieses. Nur verstehe ich Deustch genug sodass ich kann mir Oma sprechen, die kann nur Deutsch sprechen. Ich habe "don't tell me that asshole" vorgehabt. Es tut mir leid aber ich bin ein Trainwreck zu Deutch und du weißt.

EDIT: Really, I know how bad my German is. I just need to understand my Oma and that's all I know in terms of practical knowledge (since she can understand me in English so-so). My Spanish is much better now (albeit still terrible).

EDIT 2: Also, obviously I'm illiterate, no question. I couldn't read or write even the most simple sentences before I took 1st year German.

EDIT 3: In fact I actually had to say it out loud and write it at the same time, and now I can't even read what I tried to say. So I will be impressed if you know enough German to figure out what I even meant in my broken speech.

[Olax]

'Ich kann nicht dieses' would be translated as 'I cannot this'. Trainwreck would be 'Zugbruch'. And the overall placing of words in the right order isn't your strongest point. But of course, me being a genius, and actually not a German at all, I figured out what you meant, so if you ever need a replacement Oma, I'll be there for you.

No hablo Español, also bitte möchten wir zukünftig wieder Englisch sprechen.

[DonRetrasado]

'Ich kann nicht dieses' would be translated as 'I cannot this'.

I was actually taught that it was okay to drop the verb here in class but every native speaker seems to have huge problems with it, so I should probably stop saying that.

But of course, me being a genius, and actually not a German at all, I figured out what you meant, so if you ever need a replacement Oma, I'll be there for you.

This does not sound appealing.

[Olax]

You might say 'ich kann es nicht' (which would translate 'i can't do it').

[DonRetrasado]

You might say 'ich kann es nicht' (which would translate 'i can't do it').

That's what I meant to say, then. Righteous, thanks.

[Euclidthegreek]

Zach, as far I am aware, resides in Davis, California, a college town in the middle of nowhere*. It's quite hot there. His wife is doing some kind of science there, and at one point he was studying physics there. I'm not sure what's going with his life now.**

*Well, it's about halfway between San Francisco and Sacramento
**I AM NO STALKER.***
*** Of course not.

[DonRetrasado]

According to facebook he's living in San Jose. I thought he had moved to LA to work on skits but I don't really follow along that well so I dunno.

[Asherian]

He's around san jose or south SF from what he says on facebook/news post. He drives to LA which is about a 5 hour trip (Give or take for sanity of driver, I've seen it done in 4, or closer to 8 for "Speed Limits") to do the shoots, for a while there once a weekend though I'm not sure if this continues.

He also shops at Rite Aid, which are semi-rare in the area, that might help find him but the information is pretty old (He talked about how awesome it was when he ran into someone who recognized the comic at one a few years ago.)

[Euclidthegreek]

He's around san jose or south SF from what he says on facebook/news post. He drives to LA which is about a 5 hour trip (Give or take for sanity of driver, I've seen it done in 4, or closer to 8 for "Speed Limits") to do the shoots, for a while there once a weekend though I'm not sure if this continues.

He also shops at Rite Aid, which are semi-rare in the area, that might help find him but the information is pretty old (He talked about how awesome it was when he ran into someone who recognized the comic at one a few years ago.)

Excellent. Closer and closer. . .

[Asherian]

Honestly I'm mildly embarrassed to admit I remember the rite aid thing. Also pretty sure he's further north than San Jose, but you outsiders seem to just think the bay area is either SF or SJ, no other cities here so bah. For all you know he could be in Dublin or Berkeley. (Though I pray to god he hasn't gone to the madness that is Berkeley.) I have a friend who lives up by Davis, I guess I could give him pictures and have him keep a look out to see if Zach really is there.

You know, its threads like this that should make us Glad Zach doesn't love us enough to read the forum, this way it'll still be a surprise when we descend upon him : )

[Euclidthegreek]

Honestly I'm mildly embarrassed to admit I remember the rite aid thing. Also pretty sure he's further north than San Jose, but you outsiders seem to just think the bay area is either SF or SJ, no other cities here so bah. For all you know he could be in Dublin or Berkeley. (Though I pray to god he hasn't gone to the madness that is Berkeley.) I have a friend who lives up by Davis, I guess I could give him pictures and have him keep a look out to see if Zach really is there.

You know, its threads like this that should make us Glad Zach doesn't love us enough to read the forum, this way it'll still be a surprise when we descend upon him : )

I know there's plenty to the Bay Area besides SF and SJ; I live here.

[Asherian]

Oh Riiiiiight I always forget that. I'm just so unused to the idea that anyone on the forum isn't from the A. East(Coast or Europe), B. Canadia(god bless their maple syrupy blood deliciousness), or C. Australia, land where the men are men, the women are sheilas, and there are poisonous/venomous mammals.

[Astrogirl]

Ja ich weiß, meine Mutter und Oma sprechen Deutsch aber ich kann nicht dieses. Nur verstehe ich Deustch genug sodass ich kann mir Oma sprechen, die kann nur Deutsch sprechen. Ich habe "don't tell me that asshole" vorgehabt. Es tut mir leid aber ich bin ein Trainwreck zu Deutch und du weißt.

EDIT: Really, I know how bad my German is. I just need to understand my Oma and that's all I know in terms of practical knowledge (since she can understand me in English so-so). My Spanish is much better now (albeit still terrible).

EDIT 2: Also, obviously I'm illiterate, no question. I couldn't read or write even the most simple sentences before I took 1st year German.

EDIT 3: In fact I actually had to say it out loud and write it at the same time, and now I can't even read what I tried to say. So I will be impressed if you know enough German to figure out what I even meant in my broken speech.

Your German isn't all that bad. Most of it is understandable. Except for the original "Sag nicht mir das Arschloch"; that one would have been greatly improved (i.e. made more comprehensible, albeit not crrect) by inserting a comma before Arschloch. In case you care to know, this is (one way) how to say it correctly: "Erzähl mir nichts, Mann, ich weiß genau, dass du das vorhattest!" Yep, Mann can be an expletive. Arschloch would be okay, too, but somehow sounds a bit misplaced in this sentence.

Trainwreck would be 'Zugbruch'.

Not really. More like Zugunglück. In this context, Katastrophe would be best: "Mein Deutsch ist eine Katastrophe."

[Olax]

Deine Übersetzung ist ganz frei; ich trachtete die wörtliche Bedeutung zu geben. (Und also habe ich Google Translate benutzt. Mein Deutsch ist schrecklich, ich Weiße. Aber ich hat nicht erwartet verbessert zu worden in diesem* Forum.)

*Dativ, neutrum, richtig?

[Astrogirl]

Dativ, Neutrum ist richtig.