Ed-tastic

[PyroPrav]

Ed, ed, ed, edd, edddy my main man

i just wanted you to know that i touch badgers inappropriately

[Edminster]

that is quite the confession and i am not sure i want to be standing near you anymore

also I like to rub battery acid onto myself

[Apocalyptus]

And considering the difficulty in procuring badgers to New Zealand, he must be quite committed.

[PyroPrav]

It is dangerous task, but I must do it!

By the way did I say badgers? Because what I meant was badgers and schoolchildren.

That's quite a confession as well Ed

[Edminster]

at least i hurt nobody but myself!

Adding to before, I like to get a bunch of people and roll around and squash bananas

[PyroPrav]

You and your weird fetish group...

Sometimes i like to get adventurous and touch schoolchildren inappropriately with the badgers which are, themselves, being touched inappropriately by me.

[Edminster]

Hey man what I do is between consenting adults and large amounts of produce >:(

I like to sit around and mop about how lonely I am to PyroPrav and how he is awesome and shit...

[PyroPrav]

Thanks man, I just love it how you talk to me.
It makes me feel so special because at the end of the day, the badgers and schoolchildren are there in a vain attempt to fill the void i have in my life that would be better filled by actual friends who know how to spell 'mope' correctly!

[Edminster]

Well I do enjoy the occasional mop, you have me there.

I just love getting that mop soaked in what I always think is water but is actually my semen and cleaning the floor with it

[PyroPrav]

Must have some quite clean floors then?

I mean, as compared to mine which are absolutely covered in badger leavings and various 'trophies' i gather from the children i molest.

[Edminster]

The cleanest!

And then after I have cleaned my floors, I get my banana covered friends and we roll around on the floor cause it's what we do best... roll around.

[PyroPrav]

You going for the blinding white clean floors?

You are quite dedicated and I admire your temerity! Now if only I could show the same amount of zeal in turning myself over to the proper authorities...

[Edminster]

If random visitors do not literally have their retinas burned out from merely glancing at my floors, I have not done my job properly.

My guest gift to all my random visitors is a strap-on. I have a mansion full on 'em!

[PyroPrav]

I'm on fire, they'd never be able to cuff me. Well, I mean at least until those fat pig cops get it through their meaty skulls to use the fire extinguishers. God i hate cops and their corrupt fascist ways, i swear i can smell bacon from a mile away.

How often do you get visitors anyhow?

[Edminster]

Honestly I don't get visitors very often, as I am too busy mopping to answer the door. Thanks for reminding me of my very good friends who are fine and upstanding police officers, though! I should invite them over for tea.

And then stab them in the eye with my strap-ons because I have random sprees of stabbing people. The slit their throats and ejaculate all over them and then hang one outside my house as warning to others. The other officer I shall cook as I do love big juicy fat officers and that is why Pyro, you can smell bacon from miles away. You must be somewhere close at the time of that happening.

E2: I have nothing against cops, in fact me and Pyro are cops ourselves, yeah that's right and we have a 10 inch file on each of you. And that recent movie The Other Guys is based on us and we are going to find you and hunt you down then we shall do that end scene from Wanted and make an X outside your house and snipe you from far away. Otherwise we shall send you peanuts and hope you are deathly allergic to them.