Let's Write a Story TOGETHER

[Sahan]

Jeremy enjoyed himself in France. It seemed a lot of people were very greatful for the services he provided. But deep in his heart, he knew that though his beautifully polished ivory horn could penetrate their bodies woth ease, they copuld never pentrate their hears in the same way the previosu author could, because I apparently accidentally changed the story's POV here. And now I've switched it back to first person. Damnit!

[Rainbow]

Thought James as he awoke. His mind rolled with vague images of the strange and rambling dream. He could recall only a unicorn as he tugged off his sheets. A unicorn and a strange man. James tore from the bed, then, and rooted for his journal in the mess about his room so he might record this dream. His mind was hazy with a picture of a stupid imagining, but he got the feeling the dream was cool. As he sat cross-legged on his bed he suddenly grew tired, though. He fell back, as shot by an arrow, and slumbered again.

[Cirtur]

"Yes!" shouted the Agents of Gamma Force Five as their sleep rap began its work on James' fragile body. They were sending the rap sub-neurally and as it entered James' mind he began to hum the hook line.
"Bang Bang - Those motherfuckers go to sleep" he whispered as he lay back, as he fell asleep and as Agent Leroy crept into his room. The codes must be in here somewhere, though Leroy.

[AHMETxRock]

While searching for the codes, Leroy came upon something most fowl.
Rosie O'Donald Porn! Truly, this was agony! A most devious fail-safe that ensnared his mind.
If someone went through the effort of getting this, however, than Leroy's target must surely be within reach.

[Rainbow]

He knew now, that this was serious and he should turn back. He promptly did. As he made his way back through the horrid porn and other obstacles, he thought quietly of a plan to get a sandwich. He promptly did. On his way out of Subway (he hated Quiznos) he spotted something strange, however. In the middle of the restaurant there stood a forty foot giant mechanical spider. His name was Jim. The odd thing was that Jim had a name tag that said Tim. In his curiosity, he approached the young mechanical spider. "What's wrong with your name tag?" he gasped.
"The printers got it wrong." He said in his mechanical spider voice that coincidentally sounded exactly like Bill Cosby.
"Oh." He said, and left.

I only edited it because I forgot to change the color! I swear.

[mountainmage]

While munching on his five, five-dollar, five-dollar foot-long our eponymous hero got to thinking. What am I doing with my life? I feel obligated to fulfill the prophecy my mom told me when I was a child. As long as I live, I'll never forget the words on that fortune cookie's mystic scroll. "You will do great things." After tossing the wrapper into the garbage, he knew what he had to do.

[FengharTheNord]

Benjamin Franklin tied his shoes and straightened his tie and marched dutifully towards the patent office. He was about to undertake a herculean task. He was about to invent...the internets...

[Cirtur]

Four days later and the work was still bitter. The patent office had reminded him that he should invent things before he came to them, so he had burned down their offices with liberty. He sat at his desk. Waiting. Waiting for the spider in the invention to die. He glanced down at his blueprints. Wait, perhaps he didn't need dead bugs in the internet! Maybe he could use alive ones!

Hurrying outside he knocked over a small child, who promptly apologised for being in the way and hung himself. Not stopping, Benjamin Franklin marched into Al's Ants and Bees Emporium.

[AHMETxRock]

He opened the door to find a gigantic rift of anti-matter or something of the sort that was sucking in all the bees and ants, as well as the rest of the things in the building. Al was grasping a pillar for his dear life, his body parallel to the floor as the force of suction grew almost as powerful as MM's mod edits, whoever that person might be.
Benjamin Franklin knew what to do. He pulled out his ball of twine and leaped at the hole. With handiwork far too quick to be comprehended by the human eye, benjamin began to stich up the tear in time. Within seconds he was finished, save nine stichings that had to be made from the inside.

Benjamin leaded inside the center, knowing that waiting for tomorrow what he could kick ass right now would be folly, as the threads would weaken and come undone. Moments later, the rift vanished, and Al fell to the floor and broke his nose.

[Rainbow]

He touched his nose to see his dark blood was not crimson, but a deadly sort of indigo. Reality was altering. He looked over to Benjamin Franklin to find he was flying a technicolor kite and riding a lightning bolt. Not like a horse, he was having sex with it. Al turned briskly to sea that space time had collapsed into a lobster and that time had turned green. He cried out but made only the sound of a paleontologist. This was Hell. Worse than hell. As the duct tape of the universe ripped into pieces he knew he witnessed the end of everything. There was only one thing he could do.

[Cirtur]

Solemnly, Al unzipped his fly and cradled his genitals in his right hand. He began to stroke his penis as he imagined his picture of Jane Fonda at home.

"One last time," he whispered to himself, tears forming in his eyes, "One last time."

[AHMETxRock]

He promptly went blind.

[Rainbow]

In his blindness, though, he reached understanding. He knew that even if he made his conquest to save the world, the world still fucking sucked. He took this to heart and bought some hookers as he waited to die. Space Hookers. With the space hookers he ______ their ______ dirty________ _________with his ________ and _________ _______.

[Cirtur]

But enough of underscores, he had some serious business to get on with. But that light. That beautiful light. He reached up to touch it and felt a feeling of movement all through his body.

Al woke up. He rubbed his breasts gingerly. Al? His? Something wasn't right but he...she couldn't figure it out.
"Go back to sleep, Gwen." exclaimed his bed-mate, a young semi-attractive woman.

[AHMETxRock]

"BENJAMIN FRANKLIN'S WARP THROUGH THE TIME-SPACE RIFT MUST HAVE SHFTED REALITY!" AL/GWEN THOUGHT TO HERSELF. USUALLY HE WOULD NOT THINK OF SOMETHING THAT OUTLANDISH, BUT IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION THE HISTERICAL NATURE OF A WOMAN'S THOUGHT PROCESS JUST MIGHT BE SOMETHING SHE CAN USE TO HIS ADVANTAGE.
AL/GWEN PUNCHED OUT THE TEETH OF THE WOMAN NEXT TO HIM/HER, AND USED HE WOMANS TEETH TO GOUGE HER EYES OUT.