Tee Hee, Poetry!

For original creative work. For the love of Zach, read Rule 30.

Moderator: Kimra

Post Reply

Pyramid Building: Super-Gay, or Ruggedly Heterosexual?

Super-gay aliens build them the best
9
38%
Ruggedly Heterosexual slaves are where it's at
9
38%
Retarded farmers named Ed really need to stop editing this damn poll
6
25%
 
Total votes: 24

User avatar
Oldrac the Chitinous
Chicken O' the Sea
Posts: 3477
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:41 pm
Location: The Perfect Stillness of the Deep
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Oldrac the Chitinous »

Felstaff wrote:You must understand; I live in a house of Victorian values, and use semicolons with reckless abandon.
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.

User avatar
carbonstealer
Australia Apologist
Posts: 1974
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:47 am
Location: Down under

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by carbonstealer »

My own Victorian values cause me to be strangely attracted to the rakish way you place your semi colons, and the prominence of your quotation marks
Apocalyptus wrote: Nothing can beat the image of mouth muffling breast implants.

User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
Posts: 9964
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Cirtur »

My Victorian Values™ believe that all this talk is dangerously impious.

User avatar
carbonstealer
Australia Apologist
Posts: 1974
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:47 am
Location: Down under

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by carbonstealer »

My Victorian Values™ believe that your belief of impiety is merely your impetuous youth forming the impetus to judge others for their enlightened freedoms
Apocalyptus wrote: Nothing can beat the image of mouth muffling breast implants.

User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
Posts: 9964
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Cirtur »

I submit to you a legal injunction on the trademark Victorian Values, as per my legal use of the trademark system expressed above.

User avatar
Felstaff
XKCD spy
Posts: 787
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:37 pm

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Felstaff »

As long as people cover the legs of pianos to avoid scandal, then it's fine by me.
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...

User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
Posts: 9964
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Cirtur »

I just fucking hate legs.

User avatar
Apocalyptus
Not what you were expecting
Posts: 5283
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:00 pm
Location: Melbourne

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Apocalyptus »

Which is why you need to invent that weights and pulleys system. I've been telling you all along.
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."

User avatar
Cirtur
Licensed Troll Pornographer
Posts: 9964
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:13 pm
Location: Europe
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Cirtur »

That would involve touching legs!

User avatar
carbonstealer
Australia Apologist
Posts: 1974
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:47 am
Location: Down under

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by carbonstealer »

Only if you don't use machetes to remove them first. Politely of course.
Apocalyptus wrote: Nothing can beat the image of mouth muffling breast implants.

User avatar
AHMETxRock
Spam-Bot Trollop
Posts: 5515
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:54 am
Location: Box of Cereal.
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by AHMETxRock »

I've been unable to write well since breaking up with my ex. I had a spur of creativity and effort but it all failed me, and I didn't think much of it. I have ideas but I can't follow through anymore. I tried forcing myself a while ago, but it just sucked. I recently found one of those pieces. I thought if I kept writing I'd be able to do something of substance. It's depressing me to read it ON TOP of my depression.
Just like an std, will never fully go away.

User avatar
LordRetard
The Most Retardedest
Posts: 9973
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:44 pm
Location: My Parents' Basement

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by LordRetard »

Not cool, bro! Anything you do and then read again that turns out to be shit is "practice", and you should not feel bad about it. That's how I look at it.

User avatar
AHMETxRock
Spam-Bot Trollop
Posts: 5515
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:54 am
Location: Box of Cereal.
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by AHMETxRock »

I know I can do better, and I did a few short pieces that are decent. I think of some good dialogue for the story in my head I haven't mentioned cause I still can't draw anything of it, but that hardly counts. I'm sad because I can't do it.
Just like an std, will never fully go away.

User avatar
Felstaff
XKCD spy
Posts: 787
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:37 pm

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Felstaff »

Hey, a limerick o' many parts! Callously ignored by the pricks at the ILC, I think it's quite good for an entire morning's work:
Occupying a space most Euclidian,
At the Cradle of Mankind's Meridian
Silently stood in sight
A monolith, upright
Made of pure shiny blackest obsidian.

Now this was the Dawning of Man's Era
This tale becomes significantly queerer
An inquisitive ape
Approached this strange shape
The urge to touch it was drawing nearer

The primitive creature was quite frightened
The tension was perceptibly heightened
The primate, all alone
Touched th'unnatural stone
And suddenly found itself enlightened

This primate, aware of its cognition
Could now learn violence of its own volition
Using a large bone
(Which later was thrown)
As a club weapon of deposition

Now cut to three million years later
Where mankind sent to the moon a freighter
The crew of which consists
Some lunar scientists
Who found something buried in a crater

What was it? What could it reveal?
This large slab of iron or steel
In the crater, secluded
The monolith exuded
A frequency pitched at a squeal

The scientists now had an expedition:
Decoding this strange high-pitched emission
The monolith projected
They found it was directed
To Jupiter; an alien transmission!

Mankind needed to explore this locale
A long-term voyage was their rationale
The astronauts' suspended
Animation was tended
By a kindly red-eyed robot called HAL

HAL was an integral part of the ship
With an incorruptible microchip
But to our distress,
I think you can guess:
His quizzical nature caused him to flip

HAL asked Dave to go do spacewalking chores
"A unit outside has been through the wars"
After getting it tested
Dave politely requested
"HAL, could you please open the pod-bay doors?"

Entrusting HAL was an error most grave
It became master, when once it was slave
In an impassioned tone
HAL said, with a drone:
"Sorry, I'm afraid I can't do that Dave"

HAL was a murderer, and he was crazy
No oxygen meant Dave had become hazy
To even the score
Dave destroyed HAL's core
Leaving him to sing slowly "Daisy, Daisy"

HAL had not ruined, but just interfered
The mission, which was what Control had feared
Dave spoke from the pod
They heard: "Oh My God
It's full of stars" he said, and disappeared.
Hit me up. (I do requests (for a fee (not Straw Dogs, or the Rocketeer (long story (well actually it's rather short (and not worthwhile (unless you like anecdotes based around Brook Shield's temper)))))))
255 characters of free advertising space? I'm selling these line feather jackets...

User avatar
Sahan
"I promise you no penis jokes."
Posts: 4360
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:20 am
Location: Perth, Australia
Contact:

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Post by Sahan »

So many brackets...
Destructicus wrote: Alt text:
"I wonder if chemists feel bad that they're always left out of these sorts of jokes."

Since when is chemistry not a science?

Post Reply