Tee Hee, Poetry!

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Pyramid Building: Super-Gay, or Ruggedly Heterosexual?

Super-gay aliens build them the best
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38%
Ruggedly Heterosexual slaves are where it's at
9
38%
Retarded farmers named Ed really need to stop editing this damn poll
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25%
 
Total votes : 24

Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby DonRetrasado » Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:15 am

I want to turn the whole world off. Piece by piece, until it's all gone. Don't leave anything behind.
I'll shut my lights and close the blinds.
Turn my room and my house off, and the mattress upon which I sleep.
Put my neighbour out and the street where I live, and the traffic lights and the caribbean restaurant at the corner.
My city, country and congressman.
I'll shut down continents, oceans and history.
I'll stand up and turn off the sun, then flick off every star, one by one.
I will shut the universe down.
Then I'll lay my head and shut my eyes, and pray to god that my mind is black enough to rest.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Apocalyptus » Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:03 am

I like that one. I like it a lot.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby FengharTheNord » Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:11 am

amerikaa i mised you most of all
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Amerika » Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:22 pm

awwwwww

fenghar I miss you too. Maybe you should just have given up the stupid parts of the internet.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Apocalyptus » Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:18 pm

Amerika wrote:Maybe you should just have given up the stupid parts of the internet.

I don't know which one to kill.
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Felstaff » Wed Dec 08, 2010 9:24 am

Ode to a Wonderful Cat

The empty spaces where you loved to nap
Wanting to go back to the way things were
No longer the need for the old cat flap
My power drill cannot replace your purr

"He's the sweetest cat I have ever known"
I'd write an opus with a string quartet
To the greatest kitten a man can own,
The best currency of the internet.

So farewell, Ham, you gave the greatest gift
A comfort, companion, and all that jazz
Your meow never left me in short shrift
Sleep now, Ham - that cheeseburger? You can has.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Olax » Wed Dec 08, 2010 10:28 am

That was beautiful. I almost wanted to buy a cat and love it for the rest of his life and be very sad when it'd die just so I could read this poem again and replace 'Ham' with my cat's name. But I don't think that's a good reason to buy a cat.
Last edited by Olax on Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Kovvy » Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:33 pm

T_T
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Oldrac the Chitinous » Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:03 am

I went and got a hat so that I could reread that poem while holding the hat over my heart.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby ChooChooTrain » Thu Dec 23, 2010 10:53 pm

I see you driving
'round town with the girl I love
and I'm like, haiku

(Not mine, don't know the author)
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Edminster » Thu Dec 23, 2010 11:03 pm

Cee Lo Green, from his song Fuck You. Someone just swapped the words Fuck You with Haiku. It's pretty catchy!

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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby ChooChooTrain » Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:22 am

Edminster wrote:Cee Lo Green, from his song Fuck You. Someone just swapped the words Fuck You with Haiku. It's pretty catchy!


Yeah. I loved the haiku because I originally loved the song. And it is catchy as fuck. I don't often sing a song to myself for a whole week after hearing it for the first time. So gooood.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Sahan » Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:25 pm

Yay for more poetry!
I think I may have lost it again
No recollection as to when or where
Finally safe to take it out of safe-keeping
Yet when when I look through the lock I'm not sure that it's there

Heaven stop hell from repeating once more
It's seven to twelve I'm well versed in the score
Seven to twelve but I'm hoping for me
But seven to twelve is a convincing score

Tried to sit myself down in the freezer
Knowing full well there was no room
Felt content to just take out an ice-cream
But the flavour of it left my tongue confused

A well-travelled man once gave me some herbs
Said 'When in hot water, take them out, let them brew'
For to drink the elixir was to know without doubt
Didn't know what that meant, so I did, and I knew

And I once kept a treasure that could not be held
For all who dared touch it found the prize go to waste
I once milked it for strength and drank fantasy ale
But felt with every glass it got harder to taste

Heaven keep hell from repeating once more
For seven to twelve is a convicing score
Seven to twelve yet I only need four
Seven to twelve and I can't ask for more

Let me pretend that I still see it clear
My theories are crackpot but I don't have the cure
To draw strength from a lie is most foolish indeed
But some mules will not ride if not given a lure

Heaven keep hell from repeating once more
Heaven fights hell and we all know the score
Seven to twelve as they all fall asleep
Seven to twelve says I've fallen too deep
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Oldrac the Chitinous » Mon Jul 04, 2011 4:58 am

So I wrote a sonnet today. It's called Shrive Ye Wealthy Zombies.

At heaven's gate the wealthy are denied.
Like camels waiting at a needle's eye,
They form a silent somber queue and bide
Their time until they're fit to truly die.
For though the gaps in heaven's net are wide
No solitary sin can pass it by.
And here among the living their remains
reflect their vanished owners' restless state.
Their minds are gone, but now they hunt for brains
To dull a hunger they can never sate
Till some confessor can remove the stains
of sin and send them onward to their fate.
Pity him whose sins are unforgiven,
And grieve for wealthy zombies left unshriven.
Police said they spent some time working out if they could charge the man with being armed with a weapon, as technically he was armed with part of a fish.
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Re: Tee Hee, Poetry!

Postby Kimra » Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:22 pm

I like it! : D

All Zombie poetry is excellent.... except the crap stuff. Fortunately this isn't the crap stuff, so it is therefore excellent! Well done.

On a random note I have never heard of a camel and needles eye until last week when Stephen Fry's QI was discussing it. Apparently some people tried to make the proverb make sense by saying there is a gateway (or more than one) called the 'Needles Eye' and that is all bull. It was just talking about the eye of a normal old needle. ta da I have passed the trivia on.
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