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John, the vagrant devil, he had been sent straight to hell after his life, he had resigned himself to random slayings and rape and robbery, he was vain, he was thrifty, and he never did meet anyone that was willing to excuse his actions whatsoever. Unfortunately John took hell in spirit, he enjoyed every punishment, every flaying of the flesh, burning of the skin, skewering, whipping, crucifixion, was exactly what he was looking for. Struck at a loss for ideas, great Lucifer sent him to Heaven, so that his brother Gabriel could find something that would work. John was then submitted to the bliss of Heaven, and unsurprisingly he found this enjoyable still. Both brothers were at a loss, and they contacted The Father. The Father had the only true solution; he called John forward, who eagerly awaited whatever "punishment" could be given to him, and he explained to John that he would be wiped clean. He would have never existed and he would never exist again, not on Earth, in Hell, in Heaven. He would not even think again, not even be there to experience his own haunting nonexistence. And John pleaded with The Father, to let him be free, that he would do anything asked of him; and with a few choice words, The Father explained that there was nothing to be done. Moments later, Lucifer stepped forward and asked, "why did I come here, again?"

Who'd've thunk that Lucifer was so absent-minded!

I hope that John "The Vagrant" Devil is having a nice time, wherever he is.

So basically the guy achieves Nirvana by being an extreme masochist and annoying everybody involved. I'd call it a pretty sweet deal, though from a Buddhist perspective, since he can not experience suffering, he never existed in the first place.

Like Siddhartha!

Oh nice. Well that's Buddhism disproved.

Felstaff wrote:Who'd've thunk that Lucifer was so absent-minded!

Huh... Close, but no cigar.

Sahan wrote:So basically the guy achieves Nirvana by being an extreme masochist and annoying everybody involved. I'd call it a pretty sweet deal, though from a Buddhist perspective, since he can not experience suffering, he never existed in the first place.

I don't know, seems all right to me.

Cirtur wrote:Oh nice. Well that's Buddhism disproved.

Well no, the idea was that he did suffer in previous lives, but he ended all reason to suffer in that one, breaking the chain so that he would never be reincarnated and have to put with life ever again.

Sahan wrote:

Cirtur wrote:Oh nice. Well that's Buddhism disproved.

Well no, the idea was that he did suffer in previous lives, but he ended all reason to suffer in that one, breaking the chain so that he would never be reincarnated and have to put with life ever again.

Huh, that actually is kind of close to what I wrote...

It is a bit of an interesting concept, but I guess the idea that a person can become powerful enough in a way to necessitate his elimination is another one of those blasphemy things. Like, I love how Goku becomes stronger than God. I love how he becomes stronger than all the gods. They offered to make him one, and he said no.

AHMETxRock wrote:It is a bit of an interesting concept, but I guess the idea that a person can become powerful enough in a way to necessitate his elimination is another one of those blasphemy things. Like, I love how Goku becomes stronger than God. I love how he becomes stronger than all the gods. They offered to make him one, and he said no.

That's not really what I was going for...

You are fairly different, obviously. Perhaps your story is like what would happen if Vegeta was the main character.

Man gains power. Decides to challenge the heavens themselves. The heavens say "fuck you" and retcon that shit like a comic book. Shrug.
This is basically it, except instead he's just a prick. I do like your story, but the re-incarnation bit was mentioned, so I thought I'd slam my penis onto the table.

Being a prick has nothing to do with power, but maybe I just didn't watch enough Dragonball Z so whatever.

He was the ultimate prick. So much that he sticks a dildo up Lucifer's ass and somehow Lucifer doesn't get turned on by it this time. Such a prick that god's like, Yeah, fuck that guy man; I don't even remember why i made him.
Your story is a lot less typical. A story of a man gaining power is basically putting the theme of gaining power against the concept of infinity or perfection, and humor's man's desire for advancement. Your story is less typical but follows a similar structure, but has less regard to the importance of decisions or some crap like that.
I'm telling you that you suck and that I am superior.

I bet you made a lot of English teachers unhappy.

I'm a decent writer myself. I need to put time into it, and I need somewhere to go with the concept. I haven't read anything that has taken a similar approach as yours has outside of maybe comedy, but there is something fairly similar there.
Don't let this crush your heart, however. It's almost decent! I swear! ALMOST!