A Brief Conversation.

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LordRetard
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A Brief Conversation.

Post by LordRetard »

(A Play for One and Two)

Act 1
1-*clears throat loudly* Well, then I think we're all ready to start, are we?
2-I don't see what's preventing us.
1-Microphone checked, sound checked-
2-There is no microphone.
1-I really think you should consider the microphone.
2-Oh really, and why is that?
1-Because there's a microphone there. You're simply too ignorant and you look beyond it too eagerly.
2-What nonsense. You're too ignorant to realise that you can't simply say that there's a microphone anywhere you want. Consider the following: There is no microphone, we are not talking about a microphone because it does not exist. But we are talking. So you are wasting my time.
1-You're too quick to judge.
2-You're not quick enough for anything. Can you tell me why I'm here again?
1-It's quite simple. Do you have anywhere else to be? You're not dead yet.
2-I don't see how the dead play into this.
1-Oh, and if you were dead, you could still be here?
2-What if this is just a recording?
1-I'd need a microphone for that.
2-Oh, will you quiet down with that. I'm sick of the microphone.
1-But you do believe we need one.
2-I never said that.
1-But what about when you die?
2-Let the dead rest, for God's sake. When I die, I don't want to hear people saying- "I can't believe he's gone, I miss him"-
1-You won't hear anything, you're dead.
2-Will you let me speak! I don't want to hear anything like that. I'd be happier with something like, "well, knowing him was quite an experience, but I learned something from it," or "good riddance, thank heavens he's gone," or nothing at all. Nothing is the best.
1-So you hope to leave no mark at all when you die.
2-I hope I leave as big a mark as possible, and I don't want anyone to have a name to put it to.
1-And how are you going to do that?
2-I have no idea.
1-I should hope that you've seriously thought this through, but I have doubts when you claim to have no idea at all.
2-Perhaps my next step will be developing a method. What is this? It's as if you don't hear a word that I say.
1-Pardon?
2-Funny.
1-Wouldn't it be nice if everyone remembered you, maybe even in a positive light? It's almost as if you're too lazy to do something good for someone in a while.
2-I'd do something good if no one knew about it.
1-Excuses, excuses.
2-You don't even know what I've done good.
1-I know you better than anyone else and I've never seen you do anything for anyone.
2-That's because you're not paying close enough attention.
1-I'll admit that I've never seen you so defensive over something like this.
2-So?
1-If you're never going to admit to being a decent person (assuming that you are), then why are you telling me? Why bother mentioning it? It's not as if you're willing to back it up, and besides, it destroys the whole point that you're trying to make.
2-I'm really not in the mood for your nonsense today.
1-I'm never in the mood for your casual dodging of my questions.
2-Oh, that's clever.
1-What?
2-We had the same exchange just moments ago. Do you think you're a clever monkey, imitating everything you hear?
1-I don't know what you're talking about.
2-What I said earlier! Haven't you been paying attention? I'm talking about what I said earlier, my reply to you, and you're just copying me to look smart.
1-If you had a recording I'd know what you were talking about.
2-Why do you keep talking about a recording? What is there to record? What would you do with a recording?
1-I don't know yet.
2-I have doubts about what you're talking about when you don't know yet.
1-Funny.
2-Hahah, am I a cute little monkey now? Just like you.
1-And yet you think that it proves your superiority.
2-What?
1-Every layer of imitation is the same thing, it's not more creative. It's nothing new. If you were so sensitive about my lack of creativity you'd have done more to think of something original.
2-So you admit that you copied me.
1-That's not my point at all.
2-That's why it's my point. All you do is lie!
1-All you do is try to change the topic. Do you think you're the most brilliant and creative mind of our time? You'll fight over anything and when you start to lose you just make something up to defend yourself, hoping that you've made a sufficient distraction that no one will notice that you're not even talking about anything anymore. You're some genius, all right, you're so bright that you'll never take responsibility for your own actions.
2-Well, you're just as much of a critic as I am. I know a personal attack when I see one, and I'm not interested in it. You can yell and complain about me all you want, it doesn't change me.
1-Maybe you should change.
2-Then I'd compromise my integrity.
1-Integrity! What's that worth?
2-Where have I heard that before?
1-Everywhere, I'm sure.
2-I'm sure you're willing to sell out to the first person who'll give you a nickel.
1-I'm sure you'll sell out to the second who'll give you a dime.
2-Then I'm worth twice as much.
1-You think that money makes all of the difference.
2-You know that we're not talking about money. Neither of us was ever about the money.
1-No, never wanted money. Though it would be wonderful to be rich.
2-Yes, to be rich, or rather, not rich, but have all of the comforts of a rich man.
1-What a life.
2-If we were rich we'd never have to fight.
1-Or work.
2-Then what would you do?
1-Read.
2-I'd write.
1-Then we make quite a team.
2-I know, that's why it's no use trying to get rid of you.

Act 2
1-Oh my god, what happened to you?
2-"He wants to know if it hurts!"
1-Oh, what a brilliant introduction, Gogo. Is that the best you can come up with?
2-Fuck you, I'm in serious pain!
1-You still haven't answered my question.
2-I'm dying.
1-I see.
2-What a brilliant reply.
1-I do my best.
2-Well, what do I do now?
1-Who are you waiting for?
2-Death, I guess.
1-That's a shame.
2-'Bout as much as anything.
1-Anything I can do for you?
2-Go away.
1-Is that all? I leave and you die?
2-I just want to lie here and sleep for a bit.
1-Then that's the end of it?
2-I suppose so.
1-I suppose that's what you wanted, then, you'll die some tragic hero until the moment you're gone and then you'll be forgotten, for them to call out your name.
2-Beautiful.
1-I don't think they even know you're gone yet.
2-Then so be it.
1-Goodbye.
2-Good night.

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Apocalyptus
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by Apocalyptus »

Heh, that was pretty amusing actually.
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Cirtur
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by Cirtur »

I didn't read it, but am forced to offer a contrary opinion.

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LordRetard
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by LordRetard »

Apocalyptus wrote:Heh, that was pretty amusing actually.
I'm a big fan of this type of wordplay. The use of repetition fascinates me.
Cirtur wrote:I didn't read it, but am forced to offer a contrary opinion.
Hahah you fat bastard.

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Cirtur
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by Cirtur »

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

we still going to the beach later? To catch some rayz

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LordRetard
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by LordRetard »

I'm gonna grind on every piece of pussy that walks on that beach, I'm gonna grind on 'em 'til my fuckin' dick falls off.

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Cirtur
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by Cirtur »

I'm gonna leer at them like a Shakespearian monarch.

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FengharTheNord
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by FengharTheNord »

I didn't really get it, but I loved it.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead! That's what it reminds me of.
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LordRetard
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by LordRetard »

Two-man plays are pretty cool. I want to read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by Cirtur »

Two-man plays aren't as good as One-man, One-woman plays.


They you can sex it up and no-one minds because it's a story.

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LordRetard
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by LordRetard »


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mountainmage
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by mountainmage »

Ok, we don't have a theater section (not that we need one), so I'm posting this here.

The Big Lebowski if Shakespeare had written it.
The whole play is on the website if you want to read it, and it's going to be performed live in New York.
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FengharTheNord
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by FengharTheNord »

LordRetard wrote:Two-man plays are pretty cool. I want to read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Really fucking good. I got to read as Rosencrantz in my Ap lit class and I did a kif-esque voice(from futurama) and unfortunately the actually really depressing ending was ruined by stupid fuckers not getting it and ruining it. Shit pissed me off. People don't know how to fucking read out loud either. Ugh.
DonRetrasado wrote:
Amerika wrote:
DonRetrasado wrote:Well you'd need a sock as big as an airplane to hide my penis. An airplane the size of the universe.
Wait I live in a universe.
bow chicka bow wow

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mountainmage
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by mountainmage »

I hated listening to people read out loud in high school. Made me fuckin' disgusted with the reading abilities of many of my classmates.
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FengharTheNord
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Re: A Brief Conversation.

Post by FengharTheNord »

And fucking the same people who don't know how to read worth shit always raise their hands and it pissese mseorsmfomOOOFFF.
DonRetrasado wrote:
Amerika wrote:
DonRetrasado wrote:Well you'd need a sock as big as an airplane to hide my penis. An airplane the size of the universe.
Wait I live in a universe.
bow chicka bow wow

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