A story about the power of food.

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LordRetard
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A story about the power of food.

Post by LordRetard »

In a short bout of inspiration I decided to write out an idea that I've had kicking about recently. SO, originally I was going to post this directly over here! But then I decided against that. On account of content. I wasn't really sure how people would take a story like this, and, on my part, I confess that it is probably the most graphic and maybe unpleasant thing I have written, and that, indeed, I felt a certain weakness in the chest while writing this. It was written in two hours, so it's undoubtedly very rough, but I'm also very happy with how it turned out! So if you're cool that it might be a little more over-the-top then what I usually write then you should definitely read it! The ending, that is, the last line or two, will almost certainly be changed because I could not really think of what I wanted to do with it. But I am quite confident that for the rest of it, I mostly hit the mark.

It's posted on my blawg. This'll also give you that chance to look over my various writings that I know you have been longing for so much, including one or two I may have forgotten to post over here!

http://notgoodart.blogspot.com/2010/01/ ... -food.html

EDIT: I dunno. Maybe it's not as bad as I thought but I took it pretty seriously so.

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Apocalyptus
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Re: A story about the power of food.

Post by Apocalyptus »

Hmm I see what you mean about the ending, it is quite abrupt. I liked the beginning, but found his sudden decision to stab himself to death rather odd, if immense hunger really was pretty much the normal state of the character.
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LordRetard
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Re: A story about the power of food.

Post by LordRetard »

Well he's desperate, and his condition is only getting worse.

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Edminster
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Re: A story about the power of food.

Post by Edminster »

The butter knife is a bit of an odd choice. You would have to stab pretty damn hard in order to pierce skin with one.

Unless there's some weird Canadian equivalent that I am unaware of?

fake edit:
Google tells me that I am the one that has a weird equivalent. :(
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LordRetard
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Re: A story about the power of food.

Post by LordRetard »

Edminster wrote:The butter knife is a bit of an odd choice. You would have to stab pretty damn hard in order to pierce skin with one.
This is true. That's why I picked it. That's why he barely nicks the skin the first time.

Also I suddenly thought about this;
Apocalyptus wrote:Hmm I see what you mean about the ending, it is quite abrupt.
I wanted an abrupt ending, for when he abruptly dies. I simply haven't put thought of a good way to handle that yet, but I think abrupt is better than drawn-out, like the rest of the story.

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