Book Suggestions

We've read at least one, and we'll prove it!
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Cirtur
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Cirtur »

What if I stab her? Should I not have?

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Kimra
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Kimra »

Stabbing her is fine. In fact I'd let you give her money if you where using it as a chance to get close to her, just so you could stab her. But to make it worth while you have to shout out 'Vampires don't sparkle." when doing it. Or "The chicken was green." Whichever appeals to you more at the time.
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Apocalyptus
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Apocalyptus »

Kimra wrote: Here you are.
Hehehe already seen those, I sent them to someone who wouldn't believe me about the whole vampire rape thing. He still didn't believe me.
Kimra wrote:Just promise me one thing. Please don't pay for it. Steal it, kill someone for it, borrow it from the library (if you must be extreme), but don't give her money!
And yeah, I don't even usually buy the books I do like, because I would very quickly become broke, and my house become book-clogged. So no way am I shelling out a cent for some Mormon woman who thinks she can promote abstinence by writing about sparkly vampires!
!!!!!!!!!
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."

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Kimra
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Kimra »

Apocalyptus wrote:And yeah, I don't even usually buy the books I do like, because I would very quickly become broke, and my house become book-clogged. So no way am I shelling out a cent for some Mormon woman who thinks she can promote abstinence by writing about sparkly vampires!!!!!!!!!!
Abstinence? The girl practically dry humps him every chance she gets. How does this promote abstinence? If not for his strict moral code* she would have been all non-virgin months (nay years) before marriage.

*clearly she's just not as pretty as the author wanted us to believe.
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Apocalyptus
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Apocalyptus »

Kimra wrote:
Apocalyptus wrote:And yeah, I don't even usually buy the books I do like, because I would very quickly become broke, and my house become book-clogged. So no way am I shelling out a cent for some Mormon woman who thinks she can promote abstinence by writing about sparkly vampires!!!!!!!!!!
Abstinence? The girl practically dry humps him every chance she gets. How does this promote abstinence? If not for his strict moral code* she would have been all non-virgin months (nay years) before marriage.

*clearly she's just not as pretty as the author wanted us to believe.
Exactly, 'strict moral code'. They're supposed to resist their 'uncontrollable urges' or something like that. Also, apparently Bella is just an 'idealised' version of the author herself. That's right, she builds a whole career on writing vampire fanfiction with herself as the main character. This is not sad, one bit*.

*Yes it is
Kimra wrote:Next they'll be denying us the right to say "We'll rape your arse if you don't come to this fucken country."

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Lethal Interjection
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Lethal Interjection »

Is it sad that I write SMBC message board fanfics?

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Cirtur
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Cirtur »

No, that is a noble past time.

I don't think you do, but I would love to be proven wrong.

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Frostbite
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Frostbite »

That isn't just a noble pastime. It's the most noble pastime.
Doin' podcasts before they were cool.

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Cirtur
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Cirtur »

The noblest of pastimes.

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Frostbite
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Frostbite »

It was the best of pastimes, it was the worst of pastimes. And we need a time machine...
Doin' podcasts before they were cool.

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Snarky00
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Snarky00 »

It's not like weird sex scenes in vampire books are new. Anne Rice has done some creepy ones.

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Cirtur
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Cirtur »

Yes but I haven't read anything by her. I have read very few vampire books.

Because vampires are for gays and blacks.

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LordRetard
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by LordRetard »

Maybe I still have a chance at having a writing career. I can write about vampire sex.

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Cirtur
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Cirtur »

He pounded into her at a rythmic rate, his vampire teeth showing.
"Don't stop, Nosferatu," she said, her voice rich with passion. She was on her back, spread legs. He was penetrating with his penis.
Like a vampipre should.

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Snarky00
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Re: Book Suggestions

Post by Snarky00 »

Cirtur wrote:He pounded into her at a rythmic rate, his vampire teeth showing.
"Don't stop, Nosferatu," she said, her voice rich with passion. She was on her back, spread legs. He was penetrating with his penis.
As Captain America would.
fixed

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