SMBC Comics Forum

Oh man, you ruined my story.

For some reason I'm reminded of sword of truth book two.

Cirtur wrote:He pounded into her at a rhythmic rate, his vampire teeth showing.
"Don't stop, Nosferatu," she said, her voice rich with passion. She was on her back, spread legs. He was penetrating with his penis.
Like a vampire should.

This doesn't work so well with vampires. No blood, and all that.

Yes, a vampire would probably rather have sex with a commie.

Snarky00 wrote:It's not like weird sex scenes in vampire books are new. Anne Rice has done some creepy ones.

I don't have a problem with weird sex scenes. I have a problem with a grown woman writing four crappy novels about her fantasised self, and then making loads of money off preteens with it.

I just want you all to know something very gross. I knew a lesbian girl who wrote Lesbian Vampire Porn, and she wrote about menstruation and how it was a vampire turn on. And how the vampire liked to drink up that blood... Not only was it gross, it was really badly written. Thankfully she became a hooker and disappeared off the face of the earth. Yay for happy endings!

On topic: I recommend this book to no-one.

Kimra wrote:I just want you all to know something very gross. I knew a lesbian girl who wrote Lesbian Vampire Porn, and she wrote about menstruation and how it was a vampire turn on. And how the vampire liked to drink up that blood... Not only was it gross, it was really badly written. Thankfully she became a hooker and disappeared off the face of the earth. Yay for happy endings!

On topic: I recommend this book to no-one.

Hey thats nothing new, that particular kink turns up in vamp fanfiction all the time (and once in an Anne Rice novel). Not that I read vamp fanfiction or anything*.

*seriously I don't, I know people who do.

Apocalyptus wrote:Hey thats nothing new, that particular kink turns up in vamp fanfiction all the time (and once in an Anne Rice novel). Not that I read vamp fanfiction or anything*.

*seriously I don't, I know people who do.

But... I read a whole lot of Anne Rice novels and never once encountered sex. Was I too young to understand or was I reading the wrong books?

I think it's the bit where they go to the candy shop, and then one vampire starts licking the other's lolly pop. And then he strokes her pussy and licks it. But the pussy is weeping because of the calender.

See how easy it is to slip things in there, and you just thought it was narrative. Also I couldn't be bothered to think of euphemisms so I stole some.

Kimra wrote:

Apocalyptus wrote:Hey thats nothing new, that particular kink turns up in vamp fanfiction all the time (and once in an Anne Rice novel). Not that I read vamp fanfiction or anything*.

*seriously I don't, I know people who do.

But... I read a whole lot of Anne Rice novels and never once encountered sex. Was I too young to understand or was I reading the wrong books?

Well maybe not actual sex, but there is definitely a plethora of sexual, or 'erotic' scenes. And there definitely was one which involved vampiric consumption of menstrual blood. Pretty sure it's 'Memnoch the Devil'.
I know 'The Vampire Armand' had a fair amount of sex and erotic scenes in it too.
*cough*

Apocalyptus wrote:

Kimra wrote:

Apocalyptus wrote:Hey thats nothing new, that particular kink turns up in vamp fanfiction all the time (and once in an Anne Rice novel). Not that I read vamp fanfiction or anything*.

*seriously I don't, I know people who do.

But... I read a whole lot of Anne Rice novels and never once encountered sex. Was I too young to understand or was I reading the wrong books?

Well maybe not actual sex, but there is definitely a plethora of sexual, or 'erotic' scenes. And there definitely was one which involved vampiric consumption of menstrual blood. Pretty sure it's 'Memnoch the Devil'.
I know 'The Vampire Armand' had a fair amount of sex and erotic scenes in it too.
*cough*

She must have gotten into the sex after I stopped reading her books. Which was somewhere after Queen of the Damned... I just wasn't interested in picking up yet another of her books after that.

Yes queen of the damned totally sucked but a lot of the books after it were good the best was the story of Marrius Blood & gold.

slimredninja wrote:Yes queen of the damned totally sucked but a lot of the books after it were good the best was the story of Marrius Blood & gold.

Meh. I've moved onto teenage fantasy fiction.

Kimra wrote:

slimredninja wrote:Yes queen of the damned totally sucked but a lot of the books after it were good the best was the story of Marrius Blood & gold.

Meh. I've moved onto teenage fantasy fiction.

Well if we're purely talking about Vampire fiction, then Anne Rice stuff would have to be my favourite. It was awhile since I've read them though so I can't remember which specific one I enjoyed the most.
For a really original and interesting Vampire tale though, Sunshine by Robin McKinley is really good! It's set in a contemporary parallel universe thingy that I'm not really sure how to describe. But yeah, its good.

Apocalyptus wrote:Well if we're purely talking about Vampire fiction, then Anne Rice stuff would have to be my favourite. It was awhile since I've read them though so I can't remember which specific one I enjoyed the most.
For a really original and interesting Vampire tale though, Sunshine by Robin McKinley is really good! It's set in a contemporary parallel universe thingy that I'm not really sure how to describe. But yeah, its good.

I totally wrote a Vampire Sailor Moon story. Should I get, or loose, points for that?

p.s. if I ever see it and I've got the time I'll give it a go. But I don't really go out of my way for vampire stories... or most stories.