SMBC Comics Forum

Lethal Interjection wrote:

Astrogirl wrote:Now I wonder whether you also pick things in your line of sight as cards.

I'm not sure who you are talking about my cards or Liri's empty wine bottle.

I do often choose something based on something in line of sight, if I'm spacing on something. Sometimes it is that thing, but more often it is the inspiration. I have a terrible imagination.

The empty wine bottle.

A DC to AC power inverter

A home baked apple strudel.

That reminds me how I ate my first apfel strudel. In the US. They were not common in the area of Germany where I came from.

A bag of Nackle.

This is a reminder/warning of sorts. Get your cards in. I'll soon-ish post a topic.

Okay, folks!

Topic is:
The best thing to hone into a prison murder implement.

A bag of sal.t is a pretty easy to hone into a prison murder implement: all you do is gradually introduce it into your victim's food without them knowing it, in greater and greater quantities. Soon enough, they will develop hypertension and likely experience a fatal heart attack.

An empty wine bottle is clearly the most effective and easiest item to forge into a Prison Murder Implement. Put it under your pillow and quietly break it, take a shard - holding it with a bit of your standard issue t-shirt - and quickly slice your roommate's neck because he wouldn't...stop...FUCKING...SNORING!

You didn't have a choice!! Who can blame you?!?!!!

It takes much skill and determination to hone a crab into a deadly prison murder implement. Train it to grip a shank and it will serve as a useful proxy for prison stabbings. Train it to grip two shanks and it will be unstoppable. Good thing it's already angry.

A large ceiling fan doesn't even need to be honed. Just hold your intended victim up and let the fan chop their head off.

The DC plug end of the inverter can easily be ground into a decent stabbing shiv by rubbing it on concrete. Inside the case there will be a small circuit board that can be honed to a sharp edge for an easily concealed slicing weapon. And if yours has a cord on it, then you get a bonus garrotte.

Strangle, cut and stab, stab, stab your problems away

Hone the state into the ultimate weapon by convincing them to reinstate the death penalty* then riling your intended victim so hard that they shiv and/or shank you. The state will then execute your victim for you and, best of all, even if the crime is pinned on you**, you are ALREADY DEAD, so immune from prosecution. FTW.






*or moving to Texas

**by some damn forensic pathologist who just can't stay in the morgue, no, they have to go off and talk to living people and solve crimes while bodies awaiting necropsies pile up in their black bags like the bin men are on strike again