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SMBC Comics Forum • View topic - Ultimate Top Trumps

Ultimate Top Trumps

Where Fun goes to Die!

Moderator: Oldrac the Chitinous

Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Astrogirl » Wed Jul 22, 2015 9:23 am

crogression? !
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Kaharz » Wed Jul 22, 2015 2:54 pm

A DC to AC power inverter
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Sahan » Wed Jul 22, 2015 3:23 pm

A home baked apple strudel.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Astrogirl » Wed Jul 22, 2015 3:44 pm

That reminds me how I ate my first apfel strudel. In the US. They were not common in the area of Germany where I came from.
crogression? !
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Apocalyptus » Sat Jul 25, 2015 2:45 am

A bag of Nackle.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Lethal Interjection » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:51 pm

This is a reminder/warning of sorts. Get your cards in. I'll soon-ish post a topic.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Lethal Interjection » Thu Aug 27, 2015 2:23 am

Okay, folks!

Topic is:
The best thing to hone into a prison murder implement.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Apocalyptus » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:22 am

A bag of sal.t is a pretty easy to hone into a prison murder implement: all you do is gradually introduce it into your victim's food without them knowing it, in greater and greater quantities. Soon enough, they will develop hypertension and likely experience a fatal heart attack.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Liriodendron_fagotti » Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:23 pm

An empty wine bottle is clearly the most effective and easiest item to forge into a Prison Murder Implement. Put it under your pillow and quietly break it, take a shard - holding it with a bit of your standard issue t-shirt - and quickly slice your roommate's neck because he wouldn't...stop...FUCKING...SNORING!

You didn't have a choice!! Who can blame you?!?!!! :P :lol:
Continual disappointment is the spice of life.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby GUTCHUCKER » Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:07 am

It takes much skill and determination to hone a crab into a deadly prison murder implement. Train it to grip a shank and it will serve as a useful proxy for prison stabbings. Train it to grip two shanks and it will be unstoppable. Good thing it's already angry.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Astrogirl » Fri Aug 28, 2015 6:48 am

A large ceiling fan doesn't even need to be honed. Just hold your intended victim up and let the fan chop their head off.
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby Kaharz » Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:37 am

The DC plug end of the inverter can easily be ground into a decent stabbing shiv by rubbing it on concrete. Inside the case there will be a small circuit board that can be honed to a sharp edge for an easily concealed slicing weapon. And if yours has a cord on it, then you get a bonus garrotte.

Strangle, cut and stab, stab, stab your problems away
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Re: Ultimate Top Trumps

Postby trickcyclist » Sun Dec 13, 2015 11:01 pm

Hone the state into the ultimate weapon by convincing them to reinstate the death penalty* then riling your intended victim so hard that they shiv and/or shank you. The state will then execute your victim for you and, best of all, even if the crime is pinned on you**, you are ALREADY DEAD, so immune from prosecution. FTW.






*

**
The tracks are curved and my train of thought accelerates tangentially. Whooo whooooo.
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