Lemon Sherbert

[Steve01]

Hey all,

Lemon Sherbert was launched last week http://www.lemon-sherbert.com - its a satirical webcomic which should cater for anyone with an offbeat sense of humour. I've been working on it for over a year and recently bought a domain to upload the comics. As you can see from the website, SMBC has been a big influence on me but Lemon Sherbert is all my own work. 40 comics are in the archive right now and updates should be 3-4 times a week for the next while.

So click on the link, check out the archive and see what you think.

Steve

[Steve01]

New comic on the topic of atheism is up.

[Euclidthegreek]

You know what? You should introduce yourself in the New People thread. Until you do that, none of us will probably read you comic.

[LordRetard]

I'll go as far as to say that we have intentionally been avoiding your webcomic, 'cause we don't really dignify people like that unless we think they're going to hang around.

[Sahan]

Well, I give you some consideration, and looked through your archive. Without trying to sound too mean, you need to fix up a few spelling errors. Bear, not bare and that's not how you spell 'leprosy'. Some of this stuff is rather unfunny, other times you make a good set-up and then fall flat at the punchline. I went through the archives and picked out the ones I thought were okay, to help give you some direction.

http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=1
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=4
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=15
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=29
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=38
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=40

Also, please stop with the Alternative Girl character, in my opinion it's not very funny at all and those comic strips alone killed all interest I had in your keeping updated with your work.

[Edminster]

Damn! I was hoping that Frostbite deleting his post a few days back would have kept this thing dead, but nooooooo.

Anyway, everybody posting in this thread so far (with the exception of STEVE ) is absolutely correct. The spelling and Alternative Girl problems are the ones that I see as the most egregious, as well as the occasional misuse of words (a SCUBA tank is a cylinder of compressed air for use with SCUBA gear, not a thing you keep fish in).

For the record, these are the ones I found hilarious:
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=1
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=4
http://www.lemon-sherbert.com/?id=38

Comic number 4 could be improved by better speech bubble placement and fidelity to the actual lyrics, and all of your comics could be greatly improved by better art. As it stands, the stuff reminds me of a poorly-drawn Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, except you're completely serious about the whole endeavour.

[LordRetard]

Man Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is awesome.

[Edminster]

Man Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is awesome.

I agree, but only because it is an incredible hyper-parody of horrible, horrible comics.

[Steve01]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I apologise for getting off to a bad start. I should have posted in the New Members section first, and I do intend to post in the forums.

(a SCUBA tank is a cylinder of compressed air for use with SCUBA gear, not a thing you keep fish in).

I was already aware of this, I just loved the use of the term scuba tank in the context of that joke too much . You're right though, it's incorrect usage and I should be more careful about that stuff in future.

Also, please stop with the Alternative Girl character, in my opinion it's not very funny at all and those comic strips alone killed all interest

Fair enough if you don't like the character, but with the exception of maybe 3 comics I always emphasize whatever situation she's in and how ridiculous it is as the focus of the joke rather than laughing at her own traits. As I made clear in the about section - caricatures like Alternative Girl are used as scaffolding around which the craziness takes place, not a dumping ground for mean-spiritedness on my part. But I do move away from using her predominantly in later comics.

Without trying to sound too mean, you need to fix up a few spelling errors. Bear, not bare and that's not how you spell 'leprosy'.

Two spelling errors. Noted.

all of your comics could be greatly improved by better art.

Fair point. I can't draw for shit and don't claim to be an artist. But I do aim to get the comics as good as they can be with the program I'm using. Perfect artwork isn't a goal of mine but making illustrations that make people laugh certainly is, so this is something I always aim to improve.

other times you make a good set-up and then fall flat at the punchline.

One thing I will say without shame is that punchlines aren't my thing. Creating and savouring the essence of a joke is what I aim for instead of getting a ha-ha at the end. I've always found the less tangible elements of comedy more appealing, and thats why I focus on atmosphere and the ridiculousness of a situation in general as opposed to the landing point of whatever progression of panels is in issue. Of course this isn't the type of humour everyone goes for and I appreciate that completely.

A four part comic will be running Monday-Thursday this week if anyone wants to check it out, but if you hate Lemon Sherbert and don't want to see any more then that's fine too.

[AHMETxRock]

They said the same thing about my jokes. They lied. I'm a genius.

For example, Tony Hawk's skating peripheral? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT! Gold!
Um.... I'd work on your jokes more. Super Mega Awesome comics seems to have no talent, but it's hilarious.