I just thought everyone would like to know that yours truly is now officially the Champion of the Universe at 1983 Japanese arcade version Mario Bros.
Marty is, no doubt, crying himself to sleep at this very moment. If anyone feels the need to offer backhanded words of consolation, this is the place.
Topics I suggest mentioning:
-The fact that Marty always loses
-The fact that Marty had the lead and 4 more lives than me partway through the final battle
-The fact that Marty (true story) drinks Lady Grey tea
First of all, Zach rarely wins Mario Bros gainst me. There was a LOT of luck last night, including Zach having to make up 7000 points when.. oh.. what's this? a coin round?! And then it happened again!? BULLSHIT!
Also, I'd like to point out these were simply practice rounds. I may have said "Champion of the Universe," but I distinctly meant "Practice."
It's called timing. It's associated with individuals of high IQ. Maybe you should ask your wife about it.