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October 12, 2006

Saw "Employee of the Month" last night.

Do not see this movie. In fact, don't even post about it on the Internet. In fact, after reading this post, please neglect to transfer it to your long or short term memory centers.

Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook both turned in perfect performances. That is to say, the script explicitly called for an inability to act - a skill which both leads have in quantity.

Here is a list of things I would rather do than see this movie again, ordered from most to least pleasant.

1) Gouging out my eyes
2) Committing seppuku
3) Seeing 1/2 of "Employee of the Month"

That said, all things being equal, if you are a fan of predictable plots, unfortunate acting, and casual sex/racism... well... still don't see it. Because, if you are looking for those things, you're probably only sitting in the theater to look at the pretty girl (a pursuit that you will find similar to reading a Where's Waldo book).

Don't see it. If you've seen it, get your money back. If you already got your money back, see if you can get more.


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